CCS Spirit Week Ends...Last Night - Sad Boy

Today was the last day of Spirit week at school. Greyson got to school and to his surprise Ms Suzy was back. He was obviously excited because he ran up & hugged her. He loves Ms Suzy, his teacher. She has been great for him and we feel blessed to have her as his teacher this year. She had been out Tues. & Wed and he had a little moment at school where he claimed he had been bad and got into trouble. Let me back track for a moment...last night he burst into tears at bedtime because he said he had been bad and that he didn't like to be bad and he did not mean it. He said he had thrown something toward his friend at school. Yes...I know it sounds bad, but his teacher did not send any notes home or say anything so I am assuming it was not as bad as I was imagining. Hopefully not anyway. But he cried and cried and was sooo remorseful that I decided to talk with the therapist about it. Mr Mike thinks he is having some left over fears and reactions from school last year and I agree. Greyson tells us anytime he gets in the slightest bit of trouble that he is sorry and does not want to be a bad boy and that he doesn't mean to be. It is heart breaking to see. He told Michele one day that he is scared to do bad because he doesn't want to have to go to the principal's office where bad boys go. I just want to cry thinking about it. He spent almost his entire year at his school last year in the office away from his class. It never mattered why he did what he did or why he reacted the way he did...he was always at fault. Don't get me wrong...we do not condone bad behavior...but if others have behaved inappropriately then all of the children involved should be spoken to and taught the proper way to handle things. All kids and adults alike should take responsibility for their actions. If it seems I am still frustrated with the way his school handled things last year...then you are right. Mainly because my child is still suffering from the effects of feeling like he was a really bad boy, having to change schools, going through seemingly endless tests and evaluations, and this whole nightmare seems to crop up every now & again for him. Pardon me if I am cynical but I want him to just be happy little boy. For the most part he is, but it is those few moments...and thank goodness they are very few now....when he is having moments of fear, sadness and self doubt that will break your heart. Those moments are when I realize even more how disheartening his first year of school really was for him. It broke him down to some extent and we are helping him to build himself back. He doesn't talk to us much about his feelings but it comes out when we least expect it...like last night. Thank goodness for Mr Mike....he is there to help Greyson talk about those feelings he has deep inside and to work through things. Each day things are better and he is doing great. I just hate that he was sooo misunderstood in a school that claims to embrace each individual child and where things should have been handled much differently at times. Had they been handled properly, his self esteem would not have taken such a huge blow. Well its OK...close the door to the past and keep moving forward. We will be fine...I just want happiness for my son and when he has nights like last night...anyone could see there is a little boy in their still hurting at times. Time heals all things...and we have plenty of that for our beatle bug. We love you sweet guy...you aren't perfect, but you are our guy and we love you dearly. You are perfect for us and that is all that matters. Well...I better go and say goodnight...sorry for the venting tonight but last night I did not sleep. His pain is my pain and I wish I could make it go away...again...that's where time comes in. Goodnight all.