Hello friends and family. I have let this blog go unattended for far too long. So, with that being said, Greyson is now a high school graduate. This came with many trials and tribulations as we opted start homeschooling him in the middle of his 6th grade year. Public school was a nightmare and homeschooling has not been easy since he did miss having peers to hang out with. We don't have honors classes, extraordinary sports accomplishments or college acceptance letters to brag about, but that is ok. What we do have is a young man who is kind hearted, compassionate, a talented singer and musician, and someone who is entering this world on his terms. It has been hard since I constantly beat myself up for possibly failing him, for not helping him be more accomplished in math and/or English (among other subjects that are required), and for not finding the right people to help him succeed at these things that the world insists he must be good at. What we know deep down is that he will find his way, he always does, in his own time and on his own terms. He is strong willed that way, a perfectionist, who is not interested in trying new things that he is unfamiliar with that could possibly lead to failure. It's hard but it works itself out in the long run somehow, someway.
This has been quite the lesson for me in patience, understanding and letting go. Unfortunately, in the past few years I have forgotten many of the lessons that I was so eager to learn when he was small. I let his growth and becoming a young man cloud the fact that inside he still has the same struggles. Somehow, his becoming a young man equated to he should try harder, be more self sufficient and be further along in some areas in my mind. You see for the most part he is perfectly "normal", whatever the hell that means. He doesn't display any obvious signs that would allow you to conclude he has Aspergers and falls on the Autistic spectrum. That, in many ways, makes this whole thing even more complicated and challenging. I have had to stop myself and remind myself quite frequently, that inside this tall young man resides still a guy who is a bit challenged in navigating this world we live in. When our children are little it is obvious that they need our help and assistance in learning about the world while also allowing them the space and courage to navigate it and learn on their own. Once they get to be young adults there are many things that you assume they have become self sufficient at and you back off a bit. I have had to remind myself that some things just do not fall into his high priority wheel house and he still needs reminders. You see it is complicated in that these kids can tell you unbelievable details and facts about things that interest them. Beyond their interests lies a mind that draws a blank for just about anything else and no amount of poking, prodding or reminding will change that. Growing older and looking like a self sufficient adult doesn't change anything and that, in itself, tends to work as a disadvantage. That is where we are, and that scares us just a bit. We jump back and forth from, "He will be fine." to "Will he be fine?" We are working on finding a part time job, getting his drivers license and navigating the world in general. Things are coming along, and we try to continue to be optimistic about where life may lead. At some point we may try community college but for now it is baby steps. He loves music but has no idea what to do going forward. We sit and talk with him about options but it is all so overwhelming to him. He sees his peers going off to college and feels a bit left behind which has been hard on his emotional well being. We continue to encourage him and suggest things for him to be involved in and try but it all will just take time. Time, understanding and patience. We have that, although it is tested on occasion, we just hope the world at large has a lot of that for him too.
Post in honor of our amazing son Greyson, class of 2019. He has accomplished so much more than we can ever convey here and we are sure he has only just begun. Go shine your light bright and share your love with the world son.
Grad/Senior photo creds - Brittany Little
