Friday, July 12, 2013

Changing, Growing and Acceptance

I have been away for far too long.  Understandably since, I am still plugging along in school working on my BFA. Greyson was taken out of middle school in January of this year to be home schooled, and life is happening all around us at such a rate that I feel the need most times to strap into a safety harness. OSHA has been alerted but has yet to respond. If its any consolation for those who know me well, I am being fitted for a helmet. Enough of that though. I am here to talk about one thing. To talk about following your gut.
When Greyson started middle school Michele and I knew it would be somewhat of a struggle.  It is for most all kids. It didn't take long before we knew we had to get him out of the school system and by January he was home.  Since taking him out I have had no regrets.  He is totally happy and blossoming into one awesome teenage boy. (Well, almost) He comes complete with all the sassiness. Michele and I have turned into two extremely embarrassing and annoying parents that have the brains of a gnat.  That being said, our house is still bursting with love and that fixes everything as far as I am concerned. Our guts told us to get him out of school and homeschool him so that's exactly what we did.  At times I worry that I am not doing enough for him and that I allow him too much leeway, but I always come back to my gut.  I question my abilities to challenge him enough but I just keep pushing on. My gut tells me he is going to be fine. He is not your average guy and being here works for him.  He is one extremely intelligent and amazing fella that I cannot begin to describe here. We have had to adjust to all the doubts and worries of family when this decision was made.  Once people start grilling you about what you are doing and how often you are doing it you start to doubt yourself all over again.  People get caught up in how things have always been and any straying from that worries folks to no end.  God forbid you do something that they consider too radical.  God forbid you "Lose control" of your child.  He must obey. UGH! (pardon my sarcasm) I get it to some degree because we all do it at one time or another. We all get caught up in "how things were always done". Well if we all continued to do things the way they were always done we would be in a real pickle now wouldn't we? Think about how foolish it is to continue to go along never questioning things. Off the beaten path is admirable in my personal opinion. It may be uncomfortable, but growth and change is just that.  We realize he cannot be totally left to his own devices but we also know he needs some leeway to explore those things he is hyper focused on.  The things that light the spark in him. The things he loves. We are searching and finding that medium point.  We are slowly and surely finding our way.  It's exciting, scary, fun, frustrating, exhilarating, and at times maddening but we make it work.  We have a relaxed approach but it's all working out.  It might not be for everyone, but its working for us and for Greyson.  I can't say I have it all figured out because just like any parenting moment, you try different things and the ones that work you roll with, the ones that don't you ditch.  The important thing is to find what works for us and for Greyson.  Aren't we all just individuals with our own special path? Find your path. Help your children along their path until they are ready to walk alone. That's all we can do.  Follow your gut along the way because it will not steer you wrong.  Mine tells me everything is going to be just fine.  Especially regarding Greyson because he is capable of amazing things and I can sense it.  We have always known that, but here lately he is becoming quite the young man.  I feel like we are on the right path for us. It may change as we go along but for now, it's working.