It's Almost Friday! Yay...I'm Smilin', Are You?

Greyson has had a pretty good week I believe at school considering he had been out on a break for so long with Michele and I. That normally gets him way out of sorts and he has to find his normal again. Although...in his language I am not sure what normal means. He is constantly saying things like, "I don't want these pants...they make me feel normal." or "I don't feel like myself, my head feels normal." Neither Michele nor I have been able to figure this out. Well...just guessing we think he is confusing normal with strange...why we do not know. Oh well...It's all good. I always ask alot of questions on the head thing like, "Does your head hurt?", "Do you feel funny or sick?", he normally says he isn't hurting anywhere but that he just feels not like himself. Strange huh?

Today we talked with Mr Mike his play therapist. I vented a little about my frustrations concerning people thinking we don't handle things correctly and that Greyson is spoiled. I told him I know I shouldn't care what those people think but when you are having to spend time with them it is harder to ignore the "looks" of disapproval and/or the comments. We talked for some time and he had some good ideas as to how Michele and I need to handle things. We also talked about how we need to be aware of what we become when under the watchful eyes of others. We tend to start watching Greyson even more closely anticipating him doing something that others may find wrong. And worse yet...we may react to him in a way that we normally wouldn't trying to ensure he isn't unfairly reprimanded by someone else...or his actions misunderstood. In doing this we end up making his life hell. That really broke my heart once I realized I especially had done this when we had gone home for Christmas. I cried thinking why am I sitting around worrying about this and yelling his name each time I feel like he is doing something they may disapprove of or judge us for. It was ludicrous. Now that I am aware of my own behavior I hope I can put a stop to it now matter whose disapproving eye we may be around. We just refuse to let Greyson be placed under the same watchful microscope that he was under at his school last year. I felt as if his teachers sat in wait expecting him to fail or do something that they felt was wrong. Even Mike went and observed him and said Greyson was being watched and targeted for things he saw other children doing. His self esteem suffered greatly and he is just now starting to come back around thanks to his new teacher and the great environment he is in now. Lord there aren't enough kudos for Suzy or that school and its staff. Ms Suzy has definitely won a special place in our hearts. I was so glad to talk to Mr Mike. Michele and I both get so tired of the being tolerated feeling. Some of you know the feeling...it may come from family, acquaintances, so called friends...but you know it when it is happening. The dog and pony show complete with smoke and mirrors. I can best describe it from holidays past at one of my grandparents homes. Everyone acting like they cared and missed you and saying...We should get together more...and then....a year later....same crap...different year. Whatever! Bitter, party of one....your tables ready! haha I mean we all know that family, once you reach a certain age, is more about who you choose. It's not always the ones who share your DNA. Now don't get me wrong...some of the DNA sharing folks are wonderful and they truly love you unconditionally. But that isn't always the case. For my son's sake...I want for him to spend the most of his time around those who truly understand or at least try to understand what he has, and that he cannot help it. It is a developmental disorder and neurological, something none of us could help. No amount of parenting will change that. Because of that he may seem to behave poorly, be extremely picky about foods, clothes, etc and to those who don't know...he may seem to do things intentionally or maliciously. None of which he is doing. He may seem to smart off at times or like a know it all when really in his mind he thinks he is helping you. It's all so black and white to him and so literal. Greyson is a sweet, kind hearted, and loving boy who is painfully honest. Sometimes to his detriment. I guess we feel that the people who really care about us or him in the least will actually take the time to try and understand what he has and how it effects him and our family. If you think it's our parenting or you think he is just playing us well then you have it all wrong and you have totally missed it. Sometimes it's not about that...this is one of those times. Mr. Mike validated all that I felt and feels Michele and I are still doing all we need to do. He knows best that Greyson has made progress by leaps and bounds and now only has to see him every 2 weeks. Our visits with him have been once a week for a year now. So that is great news for us. EC class, OT & speech therapy will continue each week I am sure for years to come. He has come a long way but still has a ways to go. What we do know is...Greyson is awesome and he will be one fine young man before we know it! If you don't see what Michele and I and most of our friends and extended family see then you are missing out! He is a force to be reckoned with...not to mention again...a great collector of rocks! haha Good night all. If I am rehashing alot of this, and seem to ramble, I apologize. Our visit with Mr Mike brought it all back to the forefront of my head and like Greyson...once it is there...I have to get it out. Even if you need to walk away. :) Beware..I will follow behind you and finish what I am saying...just ask poor Michele. Hugs to all of you. Great big hugs to those who continue to offer words of support and wisdom! Now...bring on the sunshine!