We headed back to school today after a somewhat disappointing snow fall. You see....it melted faster than we could get out to enjoy it. so sad.... Anyway...Greyson is now determined for us to go to the mountains or the East coast since he heard the storm headed East. :) So...I picked him up at school after a day of working myself, which,...is highly unusual as of late. I actually was busy at the office all day. i picked him up and he seemed to have had a good day. I just never know since he isn't real forthcoming with information all the time. I do try to find out about his day though under the guise of needing information for his blog. Anything to get him to be a little more open. We head to OT and he was in there for an hour. Each week on Wednesday we head off for the same routine...OT (4:30 to 5:30) While he was in therapy I met and chatted with a mother that is new there named Heather. It's always nice to share stories with other moms for support, and validation. Somehow it makes things seem a little easier knowing someone else knows exactly what you feel and are going through. After the hour was up, Karissa his therapist came out to tell me how well he did. He had an awesome day at OT playing the snowman game, which he loved. He also had to stand on a swing while picking up bean bags and handed them to the boy on his left or right to toss into a bucket. Karissa said he did really well and got a great core workout as well. He had about an 80% success rate on that. Yeah big man! He also is working really hard on learning new foods and getting accustomed to different foods. he may not always taste them but he at least touches them...smashes them...and/or places them to his lips for testing and experimental purposes. He paints with apple sauce, chews on twizzlers...then spits them out. I know I know...most kids would so love that....he likes some candy but has never been a big big fan of it. He just recently within the past year had gum for the first time. Not your typical kid in more ways then one. So....he had a great OT session and we head back home for dinner. Now we are done eating....getting bathes, and heading off to bed. He just had some sort of I love you mommy melt down where he says..."I just need alot of your love right now" as he cries these huge crocodile tears. We have moments like this every so often...why neither Michele or I can explain. It started tonight due to chaffed legs...inner thighs to be exact. He says they don't hurt but he sure has hurt feelings if nothing else. How chaffed thighs equate to hurt feelings and needing such large doses of love from mommy I am not sure but I normally oblige. I just discussed this very thing with my good friend Susan tonight. How a child that has alot going on can be sooo sweet almost to their own detriment. To the point where it isn't normal. You want them to be sweet and loving but you also want to know as a mother that they are self sufficient ad able to handle their own situations that arise. You want to equip them with the tools to survive on their own should you not be able to be there for them when certain problems/challenges arise. God forbid that happen but you know what I mean. We discussed the importance of ensuring they are able to do that is and how, even more importantly, we are the ones responsible to give them those tools. At times I feel as though I am failing miserably but I also know how just when I think I am failing Greyson will surprise me with yet another major leap forward. it comes in its own time I suppose but you still have those motherly worries. When they seem too clingy and needy it can be very scary and unnerving. You know as the mother it is not the norm and that they are having anxiety to an extreme. You also know you need to find a way to help them muscle their way through it. It isn't always easy but they have to learn that survival. At least the bare minimum to get themselves through. I pray each day I can give Greyson at least that as well as helping him become the best guy he can be. A successful and productive member of an ever changing world. I want him to grow up feeling loved, respected, cared for, and safe. I never want to let him down as his mother although at times I know it is inevitable. I just hope those times are few and that his memories of us are full of love and laughs. That being said...I am off to bed to dry the tears of one sweet boy and watch...you guessed it...BEE MOVIE!!!!!! Good night all. Love, hugs....and sweet dreams abound! Here's to another day in the life!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Back to School after the Blizzard that never was...
We headed back to school today after a somewhat disappointing snow fall. You see....it melted faster than we could get out to enjoy it. so sad.... Anyway...Greyson is now determined for us to go to the mountains or the East coast since he heard the storm headed East. :) So...I picked him up at school after a day of working myself, which,...is highly unusual as of late. I actually was busy at the office all day. i picked him up and he seemed to have had a good day. I just never know since he isn't real forthcoming with information all the time. I do try to find out about his day though under the guise of needing information for his blog. Anything to get him to be a little more open. We head to OT and he was in there for an hour. Each week on Wednesday we head off for the same routine...OT (4:30 to 5:30) While he was in therapy I met and chatted with a mother that is new there named Heather. It's always nice to share stories with other moms for support, and validation. Somehow it makes things seem a little easier knowing someone else knows exactly what you feel and are going through. After the hour was up, Karissa his therapist came out to tell me how well he did. He had an awesome day at OT playing the snowman game, which he loved. He also had to stand on a swing while picking up bean bags and handed them to the boy on his left or right to toss into a bucket. Karissa said he did really well and got a great core workout as well. He had about an 80% success rate on that. Yeah big man! He also is working really hard on learning new foods and getting accustomed to different foods. he may not always taste them but he at least touches them...smashes them...and/or places them to his lips for testing and experimental purposes. He paints with apple sauce, chews on twizzlers...then spits them out. I know I know...most kids would so love that....he likes some candy but has never been a big big fan of it. He just recently within the past year had gum for the first time. Not your typical kid in more ways then one. So....he had a great OT session and we head back home for dinner. Now we are done eating....getting bathes, and heading off to bed. He just had some sort of I love you mommy melt down where he says..."I just need alot of your love right now" as he cries these huge crocodile tears. We have moments like this every so often...why neither Michele or I can explain. It started tonight due to chaffed legs...inner thighs to be exact. He says they don't hurt but he sure has hurt feelings if nothing else. How chaffed thighs equate to hurt feelings and needing such large doses of love from mommy I am not sure but I normally oblige. I just discussed this very thing with my good friend Susan tonight. How a child that has alot going on can be sooo sweet almost to their own detriment. To the point where it isn't normal. You want them to be sweet and loving but you also want to know as a mother that they are self sufficient ad able to handle their own situations that arise. You want to equip them with the tools to survive on their own should you not be able to be there for them when certain problems/challenges arise. God forbid that happen but you know what I mean. We discussed the importance of ensuring they are able to do that is and how, even more importantly, we are the ones responsible to give them those tools. At times I feel as though I am failing miserably but I also know how just when I think I am failing Greyson will surprise me with yet another major leap forward. it comes in its own time I suppose but you still have those motherly worries. When they seem too clingy and needy it can be very scary and unnerving. You know as the mother it is not the norm and that they are having anxiety to an extreme. You also know you need to find a way to help them muscle their way through it. It isn't always easy but they have to learn that survival. At least the bare minimum to get themselves through. I pray each day I can give Greyson at least that as well as helping him become the best guy he can be. A successful and productive member of an ever changing world. I want him to grow up feeling loved, respected, cared for, and safe. I never want to let him down as his mother although at times I know it is inevitable. I just hope those times are few and that his memories of us are full of love and laughs. That being said...I am off to bed to dry the tears of one sweet boy and watch...you guessed it...BEE MOVIE!!!!!! Good night all. Love, hugs....and sweet dreams abound! Here's to another day in the life!
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1 comment:
I cry too when my thighs get chafed, and I am all grown up...well sort of ;)
I also really related to what you said about wanting to support them, but OTOH wanting them to be able to handle things on their own...I struggle with that balance too. Some times I want to rush in and "fix" things, but many times too I wish that they would work things out on their own (and make my life more simple and peaceful).
It is a desperate balancing act isn't it?
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