Sunday, October 19, 2008

Where's Greyson?

Today was interesting to say the least. Greyson was in rare form starting right before we went to the Park. I think he was just extremely tired because I did not notice anything else that would have triggered his behavior. He was so uncooperative about anything before we left that I was not sure we should even go but we did. He is just so jumpy and touchy about some things lately, mostly because he is scared of everything here at Halloween. He has mild panic attacks about being left alone or going in this room or that room alone...etc, etc. It is insane at times but we try to be as understanding as possible when he gets this way. We went on to the Park to meet with the other parents "like us" and got there just after 1pm. Greyson had a great time but I know he has some things going on because after playing great for a while with some of the other kids he was suddenly off by himself staring at the trees in the park. I walked over to see what he was doing and he claimed he wanted to feed the squirrels some of the acorns he had found on the ground. i explained that they were scared of him and probably would not come up to him especially if he continued to run after them. I told him maybe we could bring them some peanuts next time we go but he would have to sit still to see if they would come over to him. He didn't have time for that today...he just needed some down time...some Greyson alone time so I left him to play with his squirrels. When he tried to join back into the crowd it just wasn't working well. Everything was overwhelming him. He tried to play tag football with momom and some of the other moms and kids but he just didn't quite understand how the game worked. He ended up running off the field crying several times...once because when he got the ball, all of the other team ran at him and he panicked. He was balling because it scared him to death. He totally did not understand what was happening. when we tried to explain or talk to him he was just overloaded and would not listen. Once he gets like that we have to just let him alone to work it out. He normally needs his own time to get himself back together. Today momom was able to break through a couple of times to get him out of it but eventually we just needed to go. That was about the same time everyone else was leaving anyway so it worked out fine. Those moments when he isn't getting it are still sad to me but it isn't quite as bad as it has been since now we have tactics to try to work through things. They just do not always work depending on the situation and the variables involved. So many variables....I wish I could waive a wand and make thing easier for him to understand sometimes. As if his frustrations weren't enough you always have the other factor of the looks of those who obviously know the best way to deal with what is happening. You can see it on their faces...but that's OK....I am learning that is part of what we are dealing with and the lesson for us is...most importantly...who cares. Just keep doing what we know is best regardless. Greyson, and his well being and growth, is all that matters. today was one of those "what happened?" days...you look back to reflect and see if anything should have or could have been done to help him feel better or cope better. After that you just keep moving forward and tackle what is at hand. Tackle what is present...not yesterday...not tomorrow. One's already gone...the other is yet to be, therefore neither matters. Only now matters. Now...I am typing this and when I am done I will relax for a while and go off to bed with my family.
Before I go let me say how much I appreciate Michele and how she handles Greyson. Several times today when he was having a moment she was able to break through and make him come around. He loves her more than anything and I so appreciate her help with him. She was there since day one and continues to be the most awesome mom. Thank you momom...we love you to the whole wide world as hopefully you already know. Good night to all.

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