Gone for too long...but ready to make the comeback!

I have not been on here for far too long and I have missed it dearly. Writing about Greyson and all of our adventures is therapeutic for me and also gives me a source to look back on to see how far he has come. Recently we celebrated Thanksgiving and are now preparing for Christmas and the arrival of Santa. Some kids his age may no longer believe, but at our home Santa is real. A wonderful magical experience that transforms even the grumpiest of elves into happy frolicking soul. I often wonder when and or who might take that magic from Greyson, as for now...we believe! Rolling back some to recap...we had a nice Thanksgiving with Michele's brother and his family. My brother and sister-in-law moved here back in the summer from Ohio. We decided to share the holidays with them and her parents as well as two friends of ours from here in Charlotte. We had a great time, ate entirely too much, and then it was home for bed. Greyson did really well too. The crowd wasn't too much for him to handle and he did great. The more people in a place the greater his anxiety/stress level is. As the expert put it at the conference I attended, "Children with Asperger's stress is proportionate to the number of people in the room." So....thank goodness on Thanksgiving the number wasn't enormous.

As far as school goes he is starting to come into his own some. He has had a much harder time this year and that really had me worried. He paced in class much more, avoided his work and spent alot of time on Ms Alex's sofa. He is starting to come participate more now though. I actually got a part time position at the school working in Ms Jodi's K,1,2 class from 8am until 12pm so I can be there with him some. It started out to be too much for him and he wanted to be down in my classroom all the time. I worked with his teacher and we have a schedule for him now that promotes his participation in class and rewards him by letting him come visit me and show me what he has accomplished. It seems to be working great for him and he actually listens to me when I say what time he has to go back to his class. Sometimes he even reminds me, "I have to go back now mommy Lynn." It is very sweet. I so love him and I do worry about his academics but not to the extreme you might imagine. I figure it will come and it will be what it is. He is perfectly capable but he will only do so much and he will only show you so much of what he can do. He is highly intelligent and continues to surprise me all the time. He is just Greyson, what more can I say. To know him is to love him with his silly, quirky, eccentric self. Last Friday his school had a Winter Ball...His first dance if you will. I had decided to opt out and just to donate money to the cause but he had other plans. He wanted to go because his friend Zoe was going. She is a very sweet girl in his class who he hangs out with. She is very helpful to him and seems to love some of the same things he does. She helped him the other day through something at school that scared him pretty badly. Some of the other boys were playing zombies and chasing him. For Greyson Zombies rank right up there with spiders on the scare factor of 10+!!!! One boy had pinched Greyson pretty hard and in his panic over them saying they were zombies and going to eat his brain he was flailing and hit one of them in the nose. No one was hurt too badly but for Greyson it was a 10 on the panic scale. He was crying and came down to see me for comfort. I loved on him some and reassured him things would be ok. Then I headed up to talk with his teacher about it. After talking and helping him calm down some we headed back downstairs. I saw Zoe and she came over and sat with him, talked and read to him for 30 minutes until he was ready to head back to class. It was magical and I was thankful she was able to help him regain his composure like that. I need to know others can help him when I am not available. Now, back to the Ball. We got his suit ready and headed off to the winter ball all snazzied up. Momom stayed home as social networking is not her forte'. Hahahaaaaaa We got there and he immediately panicked and went into full melt down/solitude mode. He realized the music was at a decibel level to burst your tympanic membrane, there were more people in a small cafe' than should be legally allowed for fire safety purposes, and the compliments alone from him wearing a suit were enough to send him into orbit. So....that being said, he ran into the stairwell, stood looking down and not talking and continually slapped himself on the back of the hand until it was blood red. I tried in vain to calm him and stop him from hurting himself but he continued. Finally, Zoe arrived. Once she got there he preoccupied his time with her for a while looking at the baskets for the silent auction that were in the hall. You couldn't hear the music there. He tried several different times to brave the crowds and loud music but ran out almost immediately each time. Finally toward the end of the night he went into the cafe' with me. I stood behind him and he had placed my hands over his ears so he could dance. He danced a slow song with me too! He was a trooper and I admire his courage for staying and hanging in there. Had he wanted to leave I would have gone immediately but he did what he had to do to stay and hang out for a while. When he said he was done I took him home. What a sweet night for us.

Forever and a day...

Well it has been forever and a day since I updated this and here I am. Things are interesting in our world to say the least. Greyson has been plugging along at school although I feel he is having a hard time. As I have said before, this year the stakes are higher and he just isn't enjoying anything about learning. Almost every day seems torturous for him. His teacher is trying to find how to reach him but he needs a lot of assistance. More than they have the man power to give I believe. I may need to find other options for him but until then I will help him work through it in any way I can. His very best friend was taken out to be home schooled which threw him for a loop. he loves his friend and wanted so badly for him to be there with him all year. He will be fine but he has been grieving that loss. I continue to worry that he needs a school where everyone understands his needs and can help him be successful. Most of the specialty schools handle only ADHD and learning disabilities but do not want any part of Aspergers and High Functioning Autism unless it is secondary to the other condition. Therefore I have found it hard to find the "perfect fit" as far as schools go. The staff must be aware and understanding to what a child has going on as well as able to adapt their teaching style to the child's needs. At times that is easier said than done. I do worry that Greyson is not quite getting all of what he needs to learn due to his own avoidance but I cannot obsess over it. It is what it is to some degree. I just have to find a happy balance in the pushing him, working with his teachers on when to push him/back off, and letting him be. Testing will always be the bane of his existence and I feel he will struggle to accurately show what and how much he knows about any given thing. Oh well...I am currently in search of what resources are still available to assist him in life. A search that will continue for always I am sure. That is my job right now and it pays well. I may very well end up the richest woman on earth if I succeed in this job and I have no intentions of failing. After all, Greyson means the world to me. I cannot fail him or myself here. It is not an option. I apologize for not keeping you all abreast of our world as well as I had. I have been very busy at his school volunteering and if all goes well. I may be there on a more regular basis. We shall see. Until next time...keep things moving forward and remember...Everyone has a story. "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

Catching up since I have been extremely slack...

I am alive and so is the rest of the family...just in case you were wondering. We spent the weekend doing some fun stuff. Friday night we went out to eat at Dilworth Neighborhood Grill to support Greyson's school and the PE Equipment Fundraiser. Michele's brother, wife, nephews, and niece went with us to eat and hang out. Afterward we headed home to sleep the night away. Saturday we had some fun and then grandma came up to stay with Greyson while Michele, I, and her family headed off to the haunted houses. This is not something we would do with Greyson obviously since he is scared to death of most all things related to Halloween or anything even remotely scary. therefore...minus the trip to Morris costume satellite store in Mooresville, we avoid this at all costs. Reason being is that he will be panicked and scared for days if not weeks. He can;t go in any room alone and will almost plow you over if you walk away from him. If I stopped quick at times he would be back in the womb. It's quite frustrating. So....we left him with grandma and we went to the haunted house. Did I mention I hate them too. I took one for the team Saturday. I tried in vain to get Michele to go with her brother and nephews. Turns out her niece and sister in law aren't so found of having the crap scared out of them either. Hahahaaaaaa So...after the one house they opted for laser tag and Erin and I drank margaritas! Yay! Greyson had fun with grandma and we got home by around 11 or so. Sunday...we hung out here and had planned to go pick out our pumpkins for Halloween. it was around 3 before we actually got motivated to leave to get them. I had cooked some homemade veggie soup and we were enjoying the fall weather. Greyson was in the yard with momom playing with the rake and blower...she raked and threw leaves up in the air and let Greyson, with the blower on his back, blow them out of the air like it was a Star Wars cannon! He had a blast and so did she. At 3pm we headed off to the pumpkin patch. We went to Rural Hill Farm in Huntersville where the great corn maze is located to pick some out. Once we got there Michele thought maybe we should try the maze. I, on the other, hand had no warm fuzzies about it seeing as how I had visions of Greyson freaking out once we got buried right in the middle of the thing. well...it turned out OK. We rambled around in there for about an hour and Michele found our way to several clues to try and find are way out. Needless to say after a little over an hour he was done. he said his feet were sleeping like at night so he wanted to sit down. I think we were done too though. So....we took the high road and got the heck out of there....thru the entrance when we found it again. Hey...we had to do what we had to do. It's all good. The week started pretty good. he hasn't had too many appt's. thank goodness...well...minus the one I wrote down wrong on the dry erase board. DUH! Sorry Mr Mike! Today he had his teeth cleaned which totally traumatizes him but he does well. He wanted to cry a couple of times but hung in there. He goes to a dentist that is very sweet and she handles him very well. all the sugar bugs...as they call them....are cleaned and washed away! No cavities! Yay! I kept him home with me because once he was done he was spitting constantly due to the fluoride wash. They paint his teeth with flavored fluoride which I am sure tastes like crap if it's anything like what I remember. he spits and spits and spits.... I didn't think his teacher would want to deal with his drama concerning this issue so I opted for me and him to do homework and hang out. I loved it! Fed him Mickey D's and watched Star Wars. How much fun can one mommy have? Well....that catches us up to some extent. Until our next adventure... hugs all

Another week gone by...

Well we have conquered yet another week of school. Greyson is still running out of sorts but has been able to spend some time with Ms Kathy in his room. She is there to help him as well as the other kids and the teacher. She will be an asset in that she gets him and his behaviors and can help reel him in if need be. I feel there may be some triggers there that we have yet to pick up on that are causing his walking and avoidance of his work. I spoke with his therapist who will be coordinating a visit to his school to observe and see if we can pick out what might be triggering his avoidance to do the things he should be doing. In the mean time I just monitor things and try to help Greyson keep from having a full meltdown as best I can. Dealing with him has always been a delicate balance of pushing him and knowing when to back off or let it go per say. You can never push too much or it will result in complete shut down. I was having huge heart burn about this for the last few weeks but now it seems not such a big deal. I have no idea how to explain that something that seemed all consuming of me just lifted. It's like somehow I just know it is all going to be fine. It is what it is. Some will get it and him, some won't. He is still a great guy and a great kid. Just an 8 year old struggling to make sense or things. His friendships and relationships in general run very deep once he bonds and he can be totally devastated by the least little thing. We all get that to a degree, he just has to work harder for those relationships so it makes things much more intense for him. That creates some problematic issues at times but he will learn to work through it. It still can be heartbreaking for me to see his struggles unfold in front of me at times. Plight of a mother huh? Not one on this planet doesn't understand that. His birthday is coming up too. November 20th he will be 9 years old. Time sure flies. All I can say is I could have NEVER been given a greater blessing than him. Helping him sometimes consumes me, other times it just happens as we go along. Right now...we roll along day to day. My job as far as I am concerned is to see he is learning and challenged while not being riddled with anxiety. Not just academically, but overall. My biggest concerns don't lie there in his academics anyway, but in his dealing with the world at hand and learning how to navigate it successfully. He is soooo funny and so attached to Michele and me. That scares me sometimes but we are his navigators and he is well aware of that. Detachment from us seems slow if at all but it is going to be crucial to his survival. It will come, as all other things have, in his time. My good friend gave me the book, 'All Cats have Aspergers'. I have to laugh because Aspies are soooo cat like. I totally get that. I even told his therapist about it and he laughed. He totally gets it too. He deals with other kids like Greyson and he said he soooo sees it over the group. I guess they are his little group of kittens. :) I assume the people that may find cats annoying may view Greyson, and children like him, that way too. Well...maybe he can help those folks find a place for cats in their hearts as well. If anybody can he can. As Dr. Tony Attwood said, "Cats are just dogs with Aspergers". Tony Attwood is a world renowned expert on Aspergers out of Australia. He travels the world speaking at conferences and seminars on the subject. i had the pleasure to see him in Columbia this summer and he is phenomenal. I have several of his books that I use as references when things crop up. I am always looking for the best and most effective ways to handle our challenges and he seems to have the best suggestions/answers to almost anything Greyson throws our way. Thank goodness for the doctors and scientists like Dr. Attwood who have spent countless years seeking to understand Aspergers and who help us make sense of the world Aspies live in each and every day. Without these things we would truly be lost.

Well, today is Saturday and we hope to have some family fun before Michele and I head out to a party later tonight. Outside to play and expend energy if the weather holds up. Have a great weekend everyone. Thanks for stopping by our world.

OT today and then a day of "nothingness" :)

Greyson had a crazy day yesterday. Things got a little out of sorts outside after lunch. Greyson's friend told him as they were walking back into the school that there was a bee on him, (on Greyson). Needless to say to some of you, this went over poorly as Greyson is terrified of most insects...especially spiders and bees. He started flailing about wildly with lunch box in hand and hit the boy, his friend, right in the nose. The boys nose started bleeding which freaked Greyson even more. After all that he was ready to come home. Greyson was very sad and worried about his friend. He felt like he had done something horribly wrong & he couldn't take any more. He internalizes so much and is very hard on himself. No one was angry with him but he still could not shake feeling down & defeated. At that point there is never any convincing him otherwise so I felt it best to bring him home. He has been very out of sync lately so I am calling in all the resources I possibly can to help him become more in sync with his class and his teacher. I spoke with the EC teacher as well as the speech therapist yesterday and hopefully with their help we can make things better for him and for his teacher. I have spoken to his teacher as well and she is happy to do whatever we need to do to help him get back in sync and bond with her. Poor guy...I am giving him a rest from everything today. We are at the house hanging out together. Tomorrow is grandparents day at school so we will be back for that. Grandmas coming down to hang out with him at school. It's also early dismissal so he will be going home at 1pm. Today we will do alot of nothing and then go again tomorrow. He will be fine but we just have to work out a few snags. For now...a day of mommy time and some mac & cheese will be the remedy for his sadness. He had a great day at OT and did lots of physical activities to build up his core, upper body and motor coordination. He even got excited about his short bike ride and asked me to watch him. I believe with the team of people he has working for one goal he will come out fine. I have solicited the help of his whole team to bring him back on track so hopefully before too long he will be seeing things in a new light. Each year will be a challenge especially changing classes and teachers. School is the one place that creates the most anxiety due to the many transitions, the chaos, the social aspects, etc. It will always be hard and we will always have to stay on top of what is happening with him. It's just the way it is and will be and we will only be able to make predictions as to where the best fit will be. It may or may not always work out as planned and that's when you have to take another path to reach the same goal. We keep going forward and making adjustments along the way. Academically I do not worry about him, I just want him to feel a bond with his mentor/teacher and have positive experiences socially with his friends. That's what will help him grow the most. The academics will fall into place. Thanks for stopping by...we love you for caring about Greyson and our family. Until my next entry...have a great day!

Great Fall Weekend

This painting is so very dramatic but it will make sense later as to why I have posted it. And yes....I think the story is hysterical. (leftover first grade story...)
It's been a great fall weekend, cool weather, playing outside, playing inside, eating out and celebrating our anniversary. (12 years together) I also spent time looking through my notes from the Aspergers seminar I went to featuring Tony Attwood. He said many great things and I was looking for things that may help me help Greyson be a little calmer and focused at school. He has just not seemed to be able to find his comfort yet this year and I am concerned he will fall behind if he keeps avoiding work when he is in class. Looking back at the notes was quite enlightening for me. It always helps to see what you have been witness to already reinforced by an expert. Tony spoke about children with Aspergers and their different characteristics. They have a compulsion for completion and have a very hard time switching tracks. They have a pathological fear of making mistakes and/or appearing stupid. Any advice given is usually perceived as criticism. In these situations the best motivators are "What would be a wise decision here?" or "What would be the intelligent thing to do?" Typical kids look for other ways to do things while Aspies are more rigid and it does not naturally occur to them to do this. You have to prompt them by saying, "What would be another way we could do this?" Aspies are acutely aware of errors and tend to withdraw, escape or try to control. They will do extreme things to avoid situations where ridicule may or does occur. (Really...first grade comes to mind here but....why relive that fun?) Their capacity for socialization is a cup compared neuro typicals who's capacity is a bucket. Their anxiety and/or sadness normally comes out as anger. So being a good detective as a parent is crucial. They cannot handle shouting or yelling because they are overly sensitive to emotional atmospheres. To change an unwanted behavior you have to appeal to their sense of logic. They need to understand and know why certain things are as they are. Confrontation makes them more emotional & tends to escalate things. The best way to handle a situation or unwanted behavior, according to Tony Attwood, is not to get emotional, don't tell them about it, give them a compliment, and then something to look forward to. They need to know clearly and visibly what you are feeling. Logic, not discipline is the key to changing their behavior. Self Reflection is a major problem for an Aspie. Ex: Parent-"Why did you do that?" Answer from them-"I don't know!" They are not being obtuse, they really don't get it. They can only cope for so long socially before they become exhausted. We have seen this in Greyson on many occasions. He can go for a while but once he has reached that point, he totally breaks down like a toddler. It's sad to see his total lack of control in that respect. An Aspie's stress is proportionate to the amount of people in the room. That is why most of them seek solitude. The best way for Greyson to calm down, is usually by being alone. Most Aspies respond to this. He seems to find peace and/or peace of mind by doing this. He can get himself centered again. (Hiding in his room, the coat closet at school, etc...)
They need for us to model behavior to learn it. Modeling things like making mistakes is crucial so they see it is OK to not be perfect. It shows them that if they stay calm and try another way, or ask for help they can still succeed. Being calm is being smart. "It's the smart thing to do".

As far as them interacting socially, it is extremely important to praise them when they "get it right". Praising friendly behaviors, compliments, and helpfulness that they exhibit tends to help them continue to succeed. Social stories help here too. They are like comic strips for everyday life occurrences. Aspies think in pictures and are very visual so these are helpful. Visualization not verbalization is their way of learning. They tend to take a logical more scientific approach to things. They tend to appear like they are not listening when in reality they are. Greyson is a master at this and it has driven me mad since he was a toddler. He seems totally checked out at times only later to reveal he has gotten everything you were trying to teach him. He still gets me with that. He, as most all Aspies, has a limited ability to tolerate frustration. They can't think of what else to do...other ways to solve the problem. They can really get down on themselves and depression can set in rapidly and deeply if you are not careful. It has to be monitored closely, especially as they reach adolescents. The suicide threat due to depression and self loathing among these kids is horrifying to me. All of these things I re-read this weekend in search of help. I am reminded now and again that I am the one who will have to stay on top of this. No one else but me and Michele. We are his saviors in a world that can seem foreign at times. We are his advocates as any parent is to his or her child. I wish I had all the answers but I do not. He is struggling some right now and I will find answers to what works for him. I will because I am his mom and I know him well. I will figure it out somehow. Until then I am sure I will be feeling frustrated and somewhat defeated. At times lonely and very sad. It's these moments that make me long for some normalcy for him and for us. But hell...does anyone have that?

Today I cleaned house with Michele and found tons of school work from kindergarten through now. It was amazing yet sad. It told such a story of what had happened once he hit first grade. He had done fairly well in kindergarten with a few snags but nothing huge. Then once he hit first grade things went so wrong on so many different levels. No need rehashing it but today I did. Just by having to sort through and decide what to keep and what to toss I had to rehash it to a degree. Part of me wanted to toss all of his first grade year being as it was a nightmare. But I saw his work...kept some of the great things he did...one of which seemed so apropos. He had picked the art masterpiece, "The Scream" by Edvard Munch to recreate in first grade. hahahahaaaaa Was he trying to tell me something?!!! Yes... I did...I saved that one. What a better summary of his year and mine back then huh? May I just say his second grade year was amazing due to an amazing teacher. She soooo made up for his year before to some degree.
Funny how I feel like I know him so well yet at times I feel so inadequate at helping him and helping people understand him. I sometimes feel they are going...whatever! Just make him do what all kids have to do. And yes...I get that too. He does need to be able to function in the world on his own. But I still have to make sense of it all to him and to those who may think he is being obstinate. I feel it is my duty to him and to the world to help spread some understanding and compassion. Sometimes you let your Autistic kid hone in on the ceiling fan blade in the middle of karate class and then watch it go round and round, head moving with it....without bothering to explain it to anyone. Those moments are priceless and you leave with a smile on your face! It's nothing but LOVE pure love and I could not love him more! Well...we are on a new journey and in a new place for sure. Stay tuned for the next Chapter in Loveforbeatle...we'll be back! Hugs to all.

Struggling some again...

Greyson is struggling some in school again I believe. The stakes are higher this year and he needs to be more focused but so far it isn't happening. He has a good teacher who will help him in any way she can but she can only reel him in so much when isn't engaged. The class sizes are much larger this year and I think that definitely has an effect on the class and the teacher. Our school is wonderful and very special in that it doesn't shun the kids who have challenges, diagnosed or not. therefore, in my personal opinion, we have quite a few children that do fall into that category. Thank goodness for the places that will help and embrace these kids but it still is a handful. And yes...Greyson falls right into this group. I worry about him. I know his class and teacher are new to him but he continues to flounder, walk around the room, lay on the couch, and not participate in what is happening. I am very worried. I want him to succeed in school and in life. What parent doesn't? Anyway...at this point I am realizing he should be showing more signs of being involved than he is and now I am getting that bad feeling. I lay awake wondering what will help him and what might help his new teacher better understand him and his ways. I lay awake wondering with all the kids in his class whether she even has time to help him or redirect him. It's just a large class. This came on suddenly for me as I have been helping there in other classes and I have felt quite scattered. But suddenly I have to figure out what works best for him. Something isn't working right now but I am not sure what. He is so worried about his friends. He has come a long long way socially but some things still elude him. He told me yesterday that some of his very good friends, the ones he feels he is close to, told on him for throwing his shoe. He was heart broken that they had done it. I told him he should use his words to talk to them and tell them that it hurt his feelings. that's when he said, "They'll just say, "Who cares?" I was sad for him....sad that the people he had considered his good friends had shown him that friends aren't always who you think they are. Now maybe there is more to the story, but usually, once things come out, he is painfully honest about what happened. From what I gather...he was being silly playing with his crocs and threw one which hit someone. I do not think he meant to hit anyone from what I am understanding of it. More than likely he was just clowning around as usual. He headed off to the coat closet and cried. His teacher came in to talk with him and that was that. For him...his day was shot....ruined....all over one silly incident with a shoe. I didn't even hear about it from the teacher so to them it could not have been that big a deal. To him.....it was really sad that his friends betrayed him by telling on him. These moments kill me...he has to learn how things work in the real world but in his world he has no good understanding of it all. He wants lots of friends but doesn't quite understand how it all works fully. That being said....who the hell does. I remember some pretty crappy friend lessons I learned the hard way myself and it never feels very good. I just hope that I can always somehow find ways to make sense of his world to others without seeming like everything I say is relating to his challenges. Also without seeming like I think his whole identity is Aspergers related and still finding ways to make our world make sense to him in those moments where it seems so foreign. OK....so things, I have decided, will always be challenging for us as he reaches each milestone and we will have to forever be his advocates. At least during his school years. I will leave you for now. Until next time...I will drink a big ol' glass of red wine as I am having to re-group for Greyson's sake. Things will be fine...just need a new plan of attack.

A Little Worried about G man...just a little...

Two peas in a pod!
It's time for me to start keeping up with this better. I am gonna need the humor as well as the moments of looking back and saying..."See, everything turned out fine." I have spent lots of time volunteering at Greyson's school but not so much in his class. I did go help one day when his teacher was out, but I wasn't there long being as it was only a half day anyway. When I do go to his class he seems even more out of sorts than usual. I worry he spends his day walking in circles and/or sitting or laying on the sofa in there. He holds things so deeply inside and is sooo emotional anyway. The least little thing throws him for a huge loop. His teacher this year is wonderful but I worry about him due to him being older and his grade level brings on higher expectations. I sometimes wonder if he is up to it, even though I know he is perfectly capable. It drives me mad to see him just avoid whatever the task at hand is in class. I went in today and he was doing just that. Total avoidance of the work they had been given. I tried all my tricks to get him to do what he had been told to do and finally he did it. Not without protest though of course. I mean seriously...why make anything easy on mommy right? Lord....anyway. My mind is racing wondering if I need to try to find different ways to get through to him. I even thought maybe I would solicit the help of his therapist, Mr Mike. Maybe have him come in and observe him in class to offer some insight to Greyson's behavior. Hell I don't know. I just don't want Alex to be driven mad by Greyson. the class has some interesting enough dynamics and I think he spends his time worrying who is his friend and who is not. He talked with me about it today and it seems to consume him. I worry about that too since with Aspergers having friends is harder anyway. Now that he has them he is still somewhat taken back by how friends treat each other at times. We all know it is not always as it should be. But even little things devastate him. When I tell him to use his words he says he doesn't want them to tell him, "Who cares!" He is totally worried that his friends won't care whether his feelings are hurt or not. Ahhhhhhhh. Is this an age thing maybe? I need to do more research. Finding balance between what may be Aspergers related as opposed to just a boy or age thing can be quite interesting. it actually makes me crazy and most of you know that is a short trip for me. (On a short bus no doubt....helmets optional!) Am I worrying too much right now? Not enough? Do I need to meet with his teacher again to hash out how he is coming along? As he gets older he is doing so good but in some ways it becomes more obvious that he has some serious challenges to deal with. That just means I need to be a better detective when it comes to him. Oh well...enough of my rave...I am having an I am completely overwhelmed kinda day today. Tomorrow is a new day. Until then....Shaaaaaaafin'zen! hahahahaaaaaaaaaa

IEP Meeting and Catching you Up...

We had our IEP meeting last week on Wednesday and I thought it went very well. Greyson first got an IEP last year at CCS and each year we will revisit it adjusting his goals etc. as needed. We were very proud of him and the progress he has made in a year. The staff and his team of teachers at school were proud as well. We lost our speech therapist, Eileen, that we really loved last year so that was sad. Fortunately she has been replaced with another amazing lady. I love her too so far. She told us that her first meeting with Greyson she couldn't even tell what he had going on...she had to look back at his paperwork to see that he had Aspergers. Yeah! I thought that was a testimony to the hard work and love that school and it's fabulous staff has shown him. ...and of course...us too! We do do alot outside of the school to ensure that he can be successful in the world we live in. So kudos to Greyson mainly for working hard to get where he is. We still discussed how he likes to keep secret all that he really knows. It is maddening to me but he has done it since he was a little guy so you would think I would be used to it. He never understands why he has to do things over and over for practice. I guess he takes on the idea that I have it...I get it....what's the point of all this. but I don't know for sure....as he never discloses much of what he is thinking either. i have to catch him in those weak moments just before bed to get information out of him. Funny guy that Greyson! So..overall my thoughts are....he is doing great. he has EOG's this year which I absolutely hate! I KNOW he won't test to his real ability and I could care less. They have to test them so we shall see. I think like him...what's the point of it? But no one cares what I think. I'm just glad most of our school feels the same way about them...they have to be done so we do what we have to do and move on. We continue to plug along at school. I am volunteering more and Greyson has mixed feelings about it. He loves his new teacher but thinks he should quite school after third grade. hahahahaaaa...he claims he wants to play and build LEGOS all day. Oh the life huh? He kills me...I think he will do fine. He is still adjusting but each day I feel he gets better with things. His teacher has some great ideas to help him and we will work together to ensure he has a great year. I think she is an awesome teacher. I am glad he got her. She is another one of the special teachers that is truly invested in the children there. I love that and from what I have seen, most of the teachers there are like that. It's great to see especially when you have a child that you know can really test the patience of those that are there to guide them at times. Most people would not want to be bothered but the staff here goes above and beyond. Even when I am sure they are having a moment you would not know it. They handle things so well the majority of the time and I am grateful for it. I am enjoying being in class more to better understand things there too. It's a great year so far and I hope the momentum continues through until the end. Great things are happening for sure! Hugs to all of you....more to come soon.

Half Day and helping out...

Today was early dismissal at Greyson's school which translates into freedom for the children at 1pm. Yes, they get to go home early. Ms Alex, Greyson's new teacher, was not going to be at school so she had Ms Deb subbing. I agreed to come hang out and help Ms Deb. Several other parents were there as well so it went pretty well. The only thing that was a problem was me and my ego. I drove myself crazy watching Greyson wander around the room not doing what he had been asked to do. It flies all over me when that happens but it's only because I allow for that. Yes he has challenges but for the most part he wasn't being disruptive so much as he just wasn't participating and doing what he was asked. Some in part because I am there and as any parent knows, your child doesn't always act the same as they do on a daily basis when you show up. I want him to listen, and do what he needs to do but for him it is not always that simple. Many things can bring about him needing to move around the room as he does and I know that. Watching it is painful though...mostly because of my own ego. It's a journey I have taken on more seriously here lately but I am still struggling. I want to be more excepting of things as they are. I want to be a mother, friend and person that isn't so reactive to her emotions. But most of all when my son is looking at me I want him to see the mom that is soooo proud of him and what he accomplishes, even on the days when frustrations are high. It's all about who do you want to be in those trying moments. I don't want to be the crazy mom that reacts and then thinks, "I shouldn't have gotten so frustrated or so angry about that." I know I am not perfect and I will have these moments that fall by the way side. I am not trying to be too hard on myself. I am only trying to reflect and remember where I want to be especially after days like yesterday when I failed to communicate effectively to Greyson what my expectations were without making him feel like he was failing or disappointing me. He has already had plenty of that, but that's a whole story that need not be told again. Now I am determined to be a better communicator to everyone I encounter, especially him. It is a great challenge for me and I believe everything I have done lately, and everything I am doing, is leading me in this direction. Into being a much better me. I find myself helping more at school with different classes and I plan to help/volunteer more. These children need support and love and guidance. My friend and I were talking the other day and, at times, we have to be more stern with them. We both said how we don't want to end up sounding angry or like we are yelling all the time. It's funny how as an adult and as the one responsible for their safety you do tend to have a sense of urgency when the children are off in a carefree place in their minds. You know, like the times when they are crossing the street like they have an eternity and as the adult you are almost in a panic internally thinking..."we have to get across before some nutbag comes speeding through and runs us over!" That alone can make you seem like you have lost your mind and you are a "big meany". Hahahahaaaaaaa. Oh well...Shaaaaaaaaaaazennnnnnn!
Overall though, I know what my goal is and I will stay the course. I may drift away now and again, but my son always brings me back to the task at hand without even knowing it. He is a wonderful guy who has made progress by leaps and bounds. We may not be the poster family for the way things should be. We are actually more the poster family for what not to do with your child. Watch too much TV, don't read enough with him, play too many video games etc...etc...but, given the situation, we try to find the happy mediums for him and us. Somehow he takes in what he needs to to be at grade level in most things. I may not be giving him enough credit here but in these early years I feel he will never test accurately to show what he is capable of. I have this on my mind due to him being in 3rd grade. This is the year for the dreaded EOG's to begin. It's sad in a way but those tests are crap as far as I am concerned. He has never been one to show what he is capable of until he is good and ready and I am fine now with that. On some levels it is maddening but what do you do but let it be what it is. I now have more faith that he can do anything and will when he is ready and in his own time. It's just a matter of putting my ego aside. If we all were honest we would all be able to admit that the ego is a huge factor in how we react to our world and the happenings in it day to day. When it can be put aside and we can stay present, truly present to what is actually happening, then we succeed in all areas of our lives. The key is staying present to what is ACTUALLY happening and not what we tell ourselves is happening. "Our story" always screws up the situation and gets the ego roused up over nothing. So...to wrap up from yesterday. I allowed my ego to slip in yesterday when helping with Greyson's class. I know that...and I am the only one who can work on staying present instead of allowing the obstacles to creep in. Today I will talk to Greyson some about what I expect of him and what we can do to make my visits to his class enjoyable for both of us. Together we will figure it out. For now I am going to try and lure him outside to play. Maybe a play date if I can round up some friends for the park. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Gem Mines...Mine Cars....River Races and Camping fun!

Greyson at the Gem mine in Chimney Rock, NC...next to "The mine car" He was diggin that...pardon the pun!
I have been so very slack at this lately. Anyway...To give you the updated reader's digest version. We left on Friday to go camping for the weekend of Labor Day. We go each year with a group to the Rutherfordton area near Chimney Rock. Our friend started the whole thing and it is a blast. Many lesbians that have kids, and some who don't attend and we nearly take over this tiny campground. We bring a cooker and have a big family like dinner on Saturday night. The rest of the time it's lots of fun in the river, hanging out by the fire int he mornings and/or evenings, sharing dinners and lunches with friends, etc...etc... Greyson loves it and he does pretty well there. We did figure out this year that his limit before overload is 3 days. After that...he starts getting a little out of sorts and at times, full on crazy. So...next year we will probably leave on Sunday to overt any meltdowns...we shall see. Instead of horseback riding on Sunday we decided to take him to a gem mine to find treasure. Well that was an awesome decision. He picked out his bucket and then started his search. Shovel fulls of sand were placed into a screened box and he shock it out in the trough of running water. One by one they appeared. He found two Ziploc bags full of gems and minerals, along with a great big amethyst geode. Wow! The man said he even found Indiana Jones birth stone! He was so excited! Well....we knew he was. The poor man there tried his damnedest to get Grey to smile or talk but he was having none of it. I wanted to explain why and then I thought...WTH...we'll never see him again more than likely. It's all good. He finally smiled at the end and high-fived the man. I think the Indiana Jones birth stone pushed him over the edge to feel like opening up slightly. hahahahaaaaaa I love watching him and how he takes in things around him. Sometimes so reserved and quietly, sometimes wide ass open. It all depends. I feel like I live in his brain and get him more so than I would like sometimes. As Michele would say..."mini me" It scares and delights me all in the same. He told me the other day that after third grade he was quiting school. So far in his young life I have not been able to help him understand the use for it or why he should be there. I did tell him he had to at least go until 12 grades were done then we could decide about college. I told him that's where it gets fun because he can study all the things he loves the most. He listened quietly and said nothing. Maybe it creeped in there and roamed around for a while. A mom can only hope. Oh well...I have many years before that becomes a worry again. I will still always plant those seeds for higher education. Grandma Griffin would insist! Here's to you grandma! :) As far as school, I think things are going OK. We have his IEP meeting for the year next week sometime. We will set his goals for the year and the focus areas we need to work on. He is doing really well with reading and writing. I can never say enough about how much it means to have teachers and a staff that has the patience to deal with these children. Amazing...i myself do well at times...other times are more challenging in the patience area but hey...that is just part of the joys of motherhood huh? Well...I am going to spend some QT with my sweet boy and partner "man traits". I know some of you are laughing! Well keep on laughing sisters! For those of you who don't get it...I have discovered I am a pseudo lesbian thanks to having a partner who is a man in a woman's body! Anyway...it's all good. Hugs to you crazy folk that love us...and that we love back! Until the next drama...

Whew.....School for mommy & Greyson

I have been missing alot of blogging time lately due to helping at Greyson's school. I think by the time I get home I am drawing a blank. It's kind of funny...I guess a sign of my old age...I'm not sure! Anyway...the experience has been very rewarding and I can't wait to help in his class more too. Right now the lower grades just need a few extra hands until the new PT assistant arrives. So.....I have found a new love. I so love these children and watching them blossom day to day. Never thought I would have the patience for helping in there but somehow I have found it. I guess I have not given myself enough credit in that area. Needless to say Greyson has taught me soooo many things, especially about how I see children and how I relate to them. I do still have "moments" where I am not quite getting it...but overall I do OK. hahahahaaaaaaa Greyson has seemed to be doing well so far this year. He loves his class and his best buddy is in there to make his day even brighter. Can't beat that huh? He has even given me less headache here lately about reading. I pulled out a Scooby Doo book last night and he was all about it. He never ceases to amaze me with his surprises. One day he is "no way mom" and the next thing I know...he is doing whatever he wouldn't do. It has always been this way and I figure always will be this way. I must wait and let him perform in his time. He is on Greyson time and it seems nothing can ever change that. All I ever want for him is happiness, peacefulness, lots of love, a safe place to be, and wonderful supportive people there with him. The rest shall fall into place. Whether he is extremely brilliant or an average guy matters not to us. He is Greyson and lord knows that is plenty. He keeps us laughing, sometimes crying, sometimes frustrated but we always have each other to work things out. Each day brings another step towards success for him in so many things. I try to be patient, loving and supportive and let him grow into the great guy I know he is. We love that boy and we do spoil him slightly but he is worth every bit of it. He has grown on so many levels here lately and sometimes it is hard to see him turning into such a young man. He reminds me often not to treat him like a baby or talk to him like a baby. How sad and wonderful. Today he has Umberto here on a play date. Together they are LEGO adventurers and nothing can stop them from there mission. LEGOs....Greyson's current addiction and love. Oh the things he has in that imagination...the movies he makes, the things he builds, the hours he spends living in his imaginary world amaze me. Conquer the world adventurer of mine...today the LEGOS...tomorrow....is up to you, who knows, the possibilities are endless!

3rd Grade at CCS - Week 2

We are well into our second week at CCS. I went with Greyson's class on Tuesday to Imaginon. Unfortunately he was having a bit of a day that day and I briefly turned into "crazy mom". I laugh with my good friend Susan about this alot. when you are dealing with challenges in children, even when you know what they are, you still have moments of, "Damn it...why are you doing this?...Acting like this?....blah blah blah...That's normally when after a bit and him getting even more out of sorts I go, "Who do I really want to be in this moment?" Then Hopefully I snap the freak out of my ridiculous self involved ego driven rant that is happening in my head. the one that is saying, You aren't a good mom. You let him watch TV too much and if you had done this...this...or this...he wouldn't be doing "this" right now. WHateVer! It's maddening but at least I know it is my problem...not his! He is fine. He does things at Greyson's pace. Always has, always will. He hides his many talents and/or knowledge of things from most everyone until he is darn ready to allow you to see it. That in itself makes me nearly insane. Well...more so than the norm. Finally after intense negotiations that would rival any hostage situation I got him to allow me to read a book about a mother cow to him. ("Udderly" ridiculous huh?) hahahahaaaa Which reminds me...On a side note: This year for Halloween...I am gonna be "Mudder" and Michele is going to be "Udder Mudder" Maybe dressed as cows...I don't know...) Stupid huh? When I was pregnant I was a pumpkin...and she was Peter Peter! But I digress as usual...back to Imaginon...Greyson let me read the story, I finished helping get the kids together, helped get books out to G's car along with Kylie, and we were off to the bus stop so they could carry us back to school. Yes...our class rides the city bus to and from Imaginon. This whole thing never ceases to amaze me along with making me "crazy mom" when I am there helping. The kids are so laaaateeedaaaaah and I am following behind thinking of all the things I need to prevent form occurring. hahahahaaaaa I am sure with each thing I ask of them, "Stay in line... catch up to the class guys...we need to walk a little faster to get across before the light changes...etc...etc....they are all rolling their littel eyes thinking...She worries wwaaaaaaaaay to much! Well now you know...That's what "crazy moms" do. The extremely "crazy" ones will yell alot on top of it all and make those crazy, I can see the whites of your eyes all the way around faces! For now I try to avoid that much crazy. Today Greyson had a good day from what he told me. He missed his buddy Umberto though. Tomorrow we start a new OT schedule and go there at 8am until 9am. After that it is back to school. I hope this schedule works but we shall see. If not I will lobby for a spot in the afternoon after school again. I try to keep his school interruptions at a minimum if possible but he sooooo needs this therapy. They work on so many different areas with him and I believe it has been helpful so we will continue as long as we can afford it. For now...it's off to relax before the night time reading battle. Last night he did fine and I hope we can continue in that fashion. Good night friends.

Week 1 of School down and on to see the LEGO Master Builders

Great school/community...great teachers...great staff...great students = great week!
Greyson finished out his week at school pretty good. He is adjusting with only a few snags. He had one day where as he put it, "I had 2 bad things today." First he been messing around and pushed his rolling book bag down the stairs at pickup time. He and his friend thought it was really funny, but then his friends tripped on his bag. He was cared to death he was going to have to do work during his recess so he bolted to the car when they called him. Doing work during his recess is a left over thing from his old school where they totally missed the boat on how to help & handle him effectively. I think him having a new teacher and not knowing what to expect brought on this left over fear from his old school. Poor guy...we did explain he was not to throw or push his book bag down the stairs anymore since it could accidentally hit or hurt someone. he got that. I then stayed awake thinking...what was he thinking? Then I realized his bag is heavy and he does not navigate stairs well at all yet. One foot at a time like a toddler due to some motor coordination challenges must have made handling the bag and himself impossible in his thoughts so....down it went. Well...mommy bought a lighter book bag, and he is doing great with it on his back while walking up and down this year. The rolling one is awesome and we will use it for packing clothes and or toys for traveling. Problem solved! He also had a moment in music where he ended up with a partner that he says is a mean boy. So he refused to participate. I think he was scared that would land him in trouble too but it was fine. Just a moment of not wanting to participate...so be it. He does love music though.

Friday on his last day of his first week we had a play date with his best friend. They do really well together and are in the same class. Hopefully they will be a great team all year as they complement each other very well. Friday they were great. Michele took them to the start of the R2D2 build but they missed seeing it barely. So they headed to the LEGO Store to get some surprises. They both were really excited about the night and had great fun together. Saturday we hung out at the house, headed to see R2D2 again and Greyson even helped add a brick to the build! All the kids get to help by building something at a table and then giving it to the master builder to add on when he is ready. He thought that was really cool. We left to go back to the LEGO Store and there was a line wrapped around the freaking mall almost...Insanity I tell you. Greyson says, "Let's go to the giraffe store and buy a LEGO there!" It was a no brainer for Michele and I! hahahahaaaaa He would have NEVER lasted in that crazy line of people and kids. Everyone was happy and we headed off for lunch. Yay! Once we got home I was the Lego "master builder" and I helped him build his new Indiana Jones planes. There's nothing more dis-heartening than taking hours to build these darn intricate things and watching him crash them into other stuff while playing and tear them to pieces. Don't get me wrong...I embrace his kid ways and creativity to build his own after he has destroyed them, but I still have a twinge of WTH? It's now Sunday and all is well here. I am brain storming ways to interest him in reading. I have had absolutely no luck so far. I am now going to search for books on temples and treasures (like Indiana Jones) because he claims he wants to be an adventurer when he grows up. Maybe even a LEGO book if I can find something interesting with pictures. I try working in how adventurers need to learn math and reading etc...only to be met with disdain. I figure someone, more than likely a teacher, will make him believe that what I tell him constantly is true. I of course am already magically transformed into a full blown idiot as most parents are at some moment in time. (Poof...your an idiot and you couldn't know what you are talking about.) Oh well...I do sometimes resemble that remark...but not due to lack of knowledge...it's mostly lack of sense! So...today we will see the finished R2D2 with his best friend and his family... hang out...and then get ready for week #2. Oh the things we learn from each other each day...even when we think we haven't. thank you for the lessons G man and keeping my brain active and on it's toes. You challenge me each and every day but then again...all kids are built for that huh? Stay tuned...same Bat time...same Bat channel!

Funny Greyson Story...

This happened a while ago but some how today I remembered it and laughed. So...I want to share. A few weeks ago Michele's brother and his family were coming over to cook out on a Saturday evening. Greyson decided he needed to set a "booby trap" for his cousins. He had been obsessed with scotch tape for a few weeks so that was his weapon of choice if you will. Greyson taped up the whole entrance onto our porch with clear tape and waited. Unfortunately, a group of Jehovah's Witnesses showed up to witness to our family. A man and a woman walked up onto our porch and were immediately covered in scotch tape...like walking into a spiders web! By the time Michele found them they were walking back across the yard, covered in clear tape and picking it off of their clothes. They came inside to tell me because I was showering. I screamed, "Did you run out and apologize?" She says...NO! I didn't want to talk to them anyway. I was horrified thinking surely they probably thought we had done that on purpose. Oh my! I have to admit though it really was funny...poor people...they know not who they were dealing with! G man strikes again! Thank you Greyson for continuing to amuse us. :)

First Day of School (3rd Grade)

I am so proud of Greyson lately. He seems to be turning into such a big boy. I am such the "he will always be my baby" type mom. Oh well...get over it mom! He is almost 9! Anyway...we had a great night of turning in early to bed, woke up happy, and it was off to school. he was leading the way and hurrying me for a change! hahahahaaaa he was so excited to have his new teacher, Ms. Alex, and to be a 3rd grader. He made sure Michele and I both knew adamantly that he is in 3rd grade now. I so feel his excitement and yet part of me worries a little too. I want him to always succeed and to have lots of friends. I want him to understand the world and the things that surround him, knowing at times that is too much to ask of anyone. Yet I want it all for him and then some. Yes, he does have some challenges but he has no trouble overcoming them. It happens in his own time, but he does it almost always. It may take him a little longer than most with some things...but he does it proudly once he realizes he is ready. He will be fine. He had the most wonderful teacher last year as I have said before and he has been awarded another wonderful teacher this year. His growth in all areas never ceases to amaze me. At times I may think it isn't happening fast enough and that's usually when he breaks through. What a guy he is. Lately he has been more aggressive than normal we think due to the break in here at our home. Hopefully in his own time he can overcome that frustration too. I myself am struggling a little with it so I know he must feel angry. Lord...his Pokemon cards were stolen! How bad can it get people! Seriously...he is obsessed and that was a major part of his world. I would choke those rotten kids out if I could get my hands on them...but I digress. :) Not to mention that isn't quite the example I want to set for G man...but...a girl can at least fantasize huh? Don't make me break out the tazer gun fantasy again or the gift basket full of Vaseline sent to their home...they'll be needing that sooner than later I am sure. OK...anyway...happy thoughts...happy thoughts....

Greyson is currently at school while I write. His best pal, Umberto, by his side and another great teacher at the helm...Here's to a year full of fun, laughter, love, learning, growth and happiness. Here's to Greyson becoming a fine young boy who is loved more than I could ever say. You go G man!

On a side note: Thank you to all of our friends who provided Pokemon cards to Greyson's "new collection". I think he has far surpassed his old collection...,numbers wise, and has gotten back most of the same ones he lost. You put a smile on his sad sad face. I have the task of now finding the trading card sleeves...Damn you coupon ladies! They swoop into the office supply and buy them all as soon as they are stocked. I am on a mission this week to beat them to the sleeves! I have faith! I will trip on of those coupon women if necessary to get what he needs (Don't make me go all Bon Qui Qui on you!-check in youtube if you don't know who this is...Sucuritah!)

OK...I won't...but dang...work with me...This is a crisis! Good day all....love & hugs and PEACE to all.

Recovering day to day...

As I have said while on vacation our home was robbed. We were very careful not to allow Greyson to see what they had done as far as trashing the house etc...but we can not totally, and should not protect him form all of what happened. It was obvious the TV was gone, the wii along with some other things. As well as our side window was broken out and is now boarded up. Well...a few days ago we discovered they also stole his Pokemon cards. Now we are trying to find a way to tell him this. I am currently reading a book by Temple Grandin and she explains that this children should never be coddled too much and should not be kept in a bubble. They should be exposed to life as it happens keeping in mind their sensory issues and being sensible about handling those situations. She claims these kids should be pushed by parents and teachers alike so they will perform and have the skills necessary to carry them through life. I do agree, but I also tend to be overly protective of him and coddle him probably more than I should. I know he is capable of just about anything...but I do tend to worry if pushed too much he will refuse to do anything. He has always done things on Greyson time. He holds back until he is ready to let you know he has gotten it...whatever "it" is. so....I guess I shall try to find the happy medium in this pushing him. I found a quote today that so sums up everything we have been through so far...or shall I say all I feel he is here to help me learn. It is a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh. “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” This quote, along with the Buddhist saying "Only speak if what you are going to say will improve upon the silence." May I just say, I am a work in progress as most of you already know all to well. hahahaaaaa

Now with that being said I have been very concerned with Greyson and this robbery because he is alot like me. He tends to hold on to things inside and although it shows that there is something going on in there...he puts on a different face outside and claims nothing is wrong. I talked this over with his therapist and in session Greyson definitely had some things going on about the break in. So...our job now is to not be too preoccupied about the incident in his presence. Especially me. I still need to make his therapist aware of the missing Pokemon cards and find the best way to handle that. I totally feel the truth is going to have to be the way to go but I will let him guide me on this one. Greyson seems to be doing well but has seemed a bit more aggressive lately. I don't want him getting too aggressive now that school is getting ready to start back. I will ensure all of his teachers know how he works this year though and also about what happened in case he shows any sign of aggressive behavior. His teacher last year was wonderful and I think we have another wonderful teacher for him this year as well. I just need to stay on top of things as far as he is concerned. I want to ensure all of his teachers understand his way of thinking and seeing things this year. Last year I just mainly dealt with his primary teacher leaving out the art and music teacher. This year I will give them all information and offer up myself for those moments where they may not quite get him. I think and hope it will be helpful. Well...we continue to recover here. We are in the process
of replacing our stolen items and getting things back to normal. Life is good and full of moments that help you put things into perspective huh? The love of family and great friends is all that really matters. ...and family isn't always blood relatives now is it? :) Hugs to you all! Thank you to for all of your love and support. It was, and is, greatly appreciated.

Some Beach Trip pics for you...

Beach Trip topped off with a Littel Breakin' & Enterin'

This is the special Vaseline...prison issue...Keep reading for the rest of the story!
OK...Here's the Readers Digest Version...I hope. Had a great time at the beach although somewhat interesting being there with family for a week. It all went well...that is until Friday around 6pm...that's when all hell broke loose. I received a call and a text 911 to call the neighbor. I had been drinking and talk about a buzz kill. she is crying and saying our house had been broken into and the big TV, the Wii, and the xbox all stolen. Seriously? WTH? I immediately handed the phone to Shel to call the neighbor to see what was happening. Sure enough...we had been violated. Now if you are gonna do that...pass me the Vaseline please! Bastards! Long story short...whole neighborhood was no where to be found when we got home on Sat around lunch. All hiding like they had "seen something" or "knew something". Well sure enough by Sunday the truth started coming out. Thanks to some super sleuthing by Michele and I going door to door...we ended up with names, kids who saw them jump the fence and even several people identified the same boys. Sadly though I feel sorry for them in that obviously they have grown up and had zero guidance and/or role models...short of thugs. Lovely. Bad news is they live right around the corner and we get to see them popping in and out almost daily. They have terrorized our neighbors for weeks unbeknownst to us and now we are on a mission to have them arrested and/or evicted. Mom is NEVER there and they are left to their own devices...none of which are good. We identified at least 4 to 5 houses that have been broken into or attempted just since ours happened. Don't these folks talk. I have at least warned every neighbor I see. We can at least help each other out. Really? Why not people... So...as far as Greyson goes...(here is the funny part) He was really worried when he found out. Worried about his LEGO'S! hahahahaaaaa to help him get past it I said to him at the beach, "Son, if they touched your LEGO'S I will kick their asses!!!" He is still laughing about that! I know...bad mommy...bad, bad mommy! Anyway...we took him straight to Michele's brother's house so he would not see the fall out of these punks ridiculous stunt. Shel and I spoke with the officer, hung out with the crime scene guy and cleaned up before unpacking. Then we finished up and went and got Greyson. he did not need to see all the blood, broken glass, pictures of all of us thrown around, clothes tossed about, broken items etc....So as far as he knows..."Mommy they only took 3 things. What's the big deal?" Only kids huh? I had to explain the danger somewhat and that it was still wrong of them to come in when we aren't home and take things that do not belong to them...but really he has somewhat hit the nail on the head...3 things...what's the big deal. Will we press charges? Hell yeah? Gotta learn lessons some way...but overall...we are safe and that "stuff" can be replaced. All is well at Casa de Griffin-Roberts! Now...one more detail...in my sick and angry mind when I was really pissed here are some of the fun thoughts I had...What to do to the suspects...

Send them a gift package (with an econo jar of Vaseline) with their names clearly on the box with a cute note...thought you may need this once you get to prison...whenever that is...or...they left the remote to the plasma TV and they live just around the corner...imagine if you will them watching it...(if it's not pawned)...and then suddenly, it's changing to the Spanish channel all by itself...or it comes on all by itself at 3am....suddenly it mutes...then the volume is blaring...then it's the food f'in network! I sooooo could push them over the edge! Last but not least...a drive by with a big pepper spray bomb cloud...you know a big fire extinguisher sized pepper container on my thigh like "Dog the Bounty Hunter"...or a tazer gun...zzzzzzzTTTTTTTT ZZZZZTtttttttttt! OK...I am done now...Bitter party of one...tables ready! ORDER UP! Good night my friends...sleep tight...I have on the night vision goggles watching...just watching! I did work at the Postal service for 17 years...it was not in vain! hahahahahaaaaaa

North Topsail Fun...

We are at North Topsail Beach having some fun in the sun and we have been here since Saturday. We came for a week with my mother and are very happy to have been able to have a vacation this year. Anyway...it is interesting as I do not think my mom was fully prepared for Greyson. My sister came for a few days and I am not sure she was prepared either. They are not around him much and do not realize all we are dealing with day to day. It's hard to help people understand these things unless they can be around him more. I try to explain it but I am not sure it sinks in. He looks like a normal 8 year old...well actually he looks even older due to his height but that's beside the point. he looks normal but he has challenges that cannot be helped. I have tried to share some reading material but I still do not think it is fully understood which makes it hard. I see the annoyed looks or the looks of not quite getting him. It makes me sad but it is what it is. I get him. We get him and know that he is by no means the kid people perceive him to be. Oh well...they are missing who he really is when they can't see past the behaviors that arise. He is a wonderful boy. Perfect by no means...and typical 8 year old in many ways...but still he is first and foremost just Greyson. I love that about him and so does Michele. He may seem spoiled to most or unruly or misbehaved or defiant or annoying but who he really is goes so much deeper. I will NEVER be able to explain it. It takes the patience of unconditional love to see this really for what it is. When you love truly deeply and unconditionally you fight to see the child that is there. The one who is scared, overloaded, frightened and needs you to be the voice of reason in a world they just don't quite get. We love him and we go along day to day to make things OK for him. To help him make sense of the things that may not always make sense. I talked with my sister about it because I feel they may not need to have us for a week vacation anymore. I do not want to annoy her or my mother since they are not used to our day to day. Maybe a long weekend next time will be better. My mother is used to living by herself. Our world is very complicated at times...especially if you aren't used to what we do or how things have to work. They did not know but now they do. Both of them seem to do much better with less complications I think. Maybe I am wrong. My sister suggested I get a book on Asperger's for mom. I am not sure she would even be interested but I will do it. I guess I thought once he was diagnosed they would read some about it...then again....reading and living it day to day are two different things. I don't know. I know this though...Greyson is loved beyond belief by Michele and I. We seem to understand him best with the exception of a few professionals. He may not be that perfect child that does everything right every time but I am glad he is who he is. I wouldn't take a thing for him and the blessing he has been in our lives. He is my hero and my sweet boy. Nothing will ever change that. I will love, support, & defend him always. Hopefully my mother will not be bald from her experience with her grandson. Hopefully she will see the beauty of him and who he is. It's Wednesday...we leave on Saturday.........we shall see. The only way to learn him is to be around him but I am not sure they will want to do that much again. We shall see. I find myself doing what I did once I came out. If I feel like people don't get it or are uncomfortable I stay away. I want to keep him away as well. That's my gut reaction. May not be right, but that is how I feel. Weird at the parallels and the feelings the whole thing brought to the surface. Imagine that...Well...gotta run to the store while my family naps...dinner is awaiting there. Love to all...hugs as well.

Pluggin' along awaiting our trip to the Beach!

We have been having a great time here lately. To catch you up we had a great weekend. Friday we hung out here at the house and Greyson had his buddy Umberto over for a sleepover. His first one ever. he still isn't quite ready as he ended up in bed with Michele and I, but hopefully as time goes on he will be ready to take the BIG step. I have been working on helping him stay some in his bed. he stills heads into our room around 1 or 2am usually. I have to get him to bed early so he can watch some of his shows or he ends up in our room so he can watch the higher channels. Attachment parenting and he is still quite attached. It's fine and he will figure it out sooner or later.

Saturday we hung out with Michele's brother and his family. They came over and we cooked hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill, had some salad, fruit and other goodies. Then they all ate birthday cake later. I say it like this because I am the lucky winner of a new diet. A 1500 calorie, low or NO sugar diet that had me eating a chicken breast...some salad...and none of the rest of their goodies. Oh well...my health will be the better for it and so will I. I am also checking my glucose levels when I wake up and 2hrs. after eating everyday. Last but not least I am walking and/or running 45 minutes 5 days a week. All for the good...and I am hoping maybe to shed around 30 to 35lbs. if possible. So...that said....I was on the special dietary restriction plan Saturday. Now...back to the important stuff. Michele and her brother finished building the ladder ball game and they all played in the yard. Greyson played for a while but like with all things he hasn't perfected...he got very frustrated and had several meltdowns/tantrums. I still catch myself felling defensive when he is like this and worrying that people are thinking he is spoiled and being a brat. It's frustrating and I really need to try to learn not to care. I am doing better but still tend to worry about people judging him. I finally realized he was at overload and reaching the point of no return fast so I removed him from the situation, bathed him, and put him to bed. Or...shall I say went with him to bed. Unfortunately the back door from outside is in our bedroom but thank goodness their was no constant in and out. Michele and her brother's family came in and stayed. They played cards and drank while he and I headed off to sleepy time. It did not take him long to fall out. He was so overly tired and had too much going on that he really had needed to go to bed an hour prior to when he did. He cannot function well at all when he reaches that point. He is totally like a 2 year old once he overloads and cannot rationalize anything. We dealt with it though and he was fine once asleep. he fought it for a while though. Sunday we actually had some of the day to ourselves which I was excited about and then around 12:30 we had to go over to a friends for a cookout to meet her sister and nephew. We had fun and took ladder ball with us. Around 4 or 5 we headed home again. It was a great weekend but I haven't seen enough of Michele lately. She works all the time. her brother being here is supposed to help that but I have a feeling they will be working all the time for sure now. Coming home late constantly and working weekends. Wonder what it's gonna take to lure her home for family time? ...we shall see. She more than likely is glad to stay away since between Greyson and myself our house can be quite complicated at times. Oh well...we will do what we have to. :) Other than those few moments Greyson has done pretty well lately. Yesterday was spent running some errands to get ready for the beach. We leave on Saturday and will meet mom in Wadesboro to head on down to Topsail Island. yay! My sister is coming too...hooray! today we are meeting Kathy & Cameron for spray ground fun and then Chuckie cheese...Oh what fun. We love hanging out at the spray grounds...and I love for Greyson to play as much as he can outside! He would stay in almost 24/7 if we allowed that. Have a great day guys. Hugs to our friends & extended family that keep up with us here. Will update soon...

Fun filled weeks of summer...

Here the past few days we have had nothing but fun. Our days have been full of play dates in the parks, spray grounds and friends homes here in Charlotte. Greyson got to play with his pal Meg on Sunday up at Jetton Park on LKN. They had a blast swinging, collecting pine cones and playing on the playground equipment all while my good friend Susan and I talked. It's always great to talk with her. We deal with similar challenges at times so its always good to have a person to bounce your crazy life off of. So we sat and bounced...hahahaaaa Personally I think this woman could be president one day...I'm just sayin'...she NEVER ceases to amaze me. Hang in there sister. All things for a reason.

Getting back to G man...Tuesday we met friends at the Veteran's Park spray ground to play and then headed home. He had Karate later that evening while I went off to my seminar. He did great at Karate and Master Hartsell bragged on how much improvement he has seen in him. Wednesday we met our friends at the Latta Park spray ground but had to leave around 3pm to get ready for OT at 4:30 in Mooresville. He was sooooo very tired and he laid down on their toddler couch and then piled the beanbag chair they have on top of himself. "Tell tell sign of I have about had it and I am gonna pass out from overload!" I was concerned but he did great at OT as well. Even tried Tostido chips for the first time and liked them. He still is a little unsure but he did tell Karissa his therapist that he was surprised at how tasty they were. We are making baby steps in the food dept. He now likes quesadillas, chips (not salsa yet), strawberries as long as it is minimal and no seeds get in his mouth. he is having serious tactile issues with eating but she is steadily working through it with him. Milk shakes with a little strawberry added are acceptable. :) He even touched a fish stick to his lips and smelled it. HUGE! Hell I'm not even sure I want to do that...hahahaaaaa Is that even really fish people? I don't think so! Today I had a doctor's appt. so Greyson had to go with. He was very concerned about me and nervous that Dr Nance might try to give me a shot. He says to me, "I don't want to hear you crying Missy!" Where the hell did he get that? We have never told him that. A sure sign that he watches too much TV and it's definitely all my fault. I confess...I am a TV addict but here lately I have done much better. Transferring my addiction to things like facebook, Farkle, and bejeweled blitz! Well...with a little Aspergers research & reading on the side. So...now...I have been told by my trusty Steve, "Dr Nance" that I am to start exercising, go on the 1500 calorie diet, and I have a handy glucose monitor to keep track of my blood sugar...just like when I was pregnant. Oh the joys of getting older and letting my health & fitness slip. What a hard head I am. Well I am listening so today started my journey. We shall see where I end up. Goal is at least 20lbs lighter if not 30lbs. Yay! Next year this time I'll be a fit little petite flower goddess! Stop laughing...I know you are! Was it the petite flower goddess that got you? Oh yeah...I forgot. Michele ain't getting off easy either. She is at my mercy now so if she is gonna cheat she better eat her cheat food at lunch while she is working...dinner is all about rabbits at this house now! Poor Greyson...not sure what will happen with him. I'll probably give him a partial pass since he is struggling already with food issues. :) So...right now Greyson and his pal Umberto are playing LEGO's awaiting Karate. Greyson is taking his friend for a trial run to class. Next week we are gonna bring Cameron to Karate. I think they both will love it. It's been great for Greyson that's for sure. So...for now I'll sign off. Tonight I get to go meet with Suzy & Kathy...yay! I haven't seen or talked with them in a while. It's girls night out whooohooo. We never stay late but we do have fun. Good night guys. Get out there and live like it's your last day here! Life's too short to stay in the stands watching...You need to participate!