Saturday, December 15, 2012

It's been a while...but I got something to say

I've been thinking a lot lately and yes, you probably have smelled something burning. Greyson started middle school this year and I am back in school at UNCC as well finishing out my undergraduate degree.  That makes for some interesting fun at our house.  Poor Michele is working hard to keep us fed, and to keep a roof over our heads while Greyson and I plug along feeding our brains.  I am fine and things are going well for me academically.
Greyson is fine too, or at least I know in my gut he will be.  School is not good for him.  He has always hated school but this year has been just as challenging for him as we thought it would be.  We met with the school and are trying to trust the fact that many kids his age struggle in 6th grade but he seems to be regressing some.  That worries us.  We have been talking about the possibilities of homeschooling him if need be, as well as trying to stay in touch with the powers that be at school regarding his challenges.  All this has lead me to thinking about being a mother.  Not just a mother, a mom.  It has me questioning if I have been doing enough for him.  Funny how as mothers we want to do the best for our child and we are always judging our ourselves and comparing ourselves to others.  I have surrounded myself with friends/moms that I feel are unbelievable people and parents.  I learn from them, trade stories with them, bounce ideas off of them and vent to them about life.  At times I think I want to be more like some of them and I question myself and the job I am doing.  I had been feeling I had failed Greyson and then it hit me.  Every great mom feels this.  We all look up to one another and compare ourselves to the next trying to improve and be the best we can be.  We all have knowledge in different areas and we all have tidbits to help one another.  It does take a village.  It's time, as moms, that we gave ourselves a break and realize we are doing what is best for our children. As long as there is an overabundance of love being shown then everything is gonna be alright.   My son may be struggling grade wise at school, but that does NOT represent who he is in our eyes.  He is an extremely smart guy who is a little quirky at times, but he is remarkably intelligent and sensitive in ways that go way beyond what is measured by our school systems.  I love his new school but sensory wise and size wise it has been overwhelming and frustrating for him.  Maybe it will work itself out...maybe not.  Either way I refuse to continue to think we are failing him.  We are not.  Our house is full of unconditional love and support.  Some may say he's spoiled and gets away with too much.  So be it... To us he is amazing and there is nothing he can't do. (This does not mean that we don't have moments where we want to scream, we do.)  In tackling life we just need to go about it a little differently than most.  We are awesome moms and a perfect match for one truly awesome guy! To all my mom friends that inspire and teach me...I love you all.  You know damn well who you are!  :)

Happy holidays...personally I think this time of year is a croc of shit but I do enjoy the time we have with family & friends.  (For those of you who do not know me well...let me briefly explain. It's only a croc of shit because we should be this giving and thankful each and everyday.  Too much greed and spending on unnecessary stuff...but I digress.)  

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