Observations of "B"...

While Greyson swims at the pool I usually watch him closely. Not that he can't swim, he can, I just watch him as he interacts with others. Then again maybe "interacts" is pushing it. I will give him credit. He will at least get around the crowd of kids playing and stay in close proximity. More like a stalker. I say this in jest. Its sad to see him and be able to see that he really wants to join in but doesn't ever ask or talk to them. He just tends to laugh hysterically at anything and everything they say, and follows them any and everywhere they go, watching them from the outskirts. I realize more and more how hard social interactions are for these kids. He is doing quite well but still struggles. He has no clue when they aren't being friendly or when they are being mean, making fun, etc...unless it is painfully obvious. Let me add painfully obvious to you or me is not something that would be painfully obvious to him. For him to clue in it has to be "really" obvious if you know what I mean. He does know two other boys at the pool, so that helps, but he is "the new guy". That adds a level of toughness to fitting in. The crowd of boys are all very athletic and I can tell they have realized right away he is not like them. So I sit and watch, letting him have some rope and freedom to try to learn life and survival skills, but not letting him get too far. We can't allow him to be totally thrown to the wolves without the same defenses and skills that come naturally to most. It's not always easy to watch. To see the longing on his face to go and play. To be invited into the game without mommy having to ask for him. I see it all over his face. I have tried to discuss with him some boundaries of what is OK and what isn't OK to allow someone to say or do to you. His response is pretty much always the same. "Can we not talk about this." We have to find a way to ensure he understands boundaries for himself and others so he doesn't get hurt by anyone and so he doesn't hurt anyone either. That would apply physically and emotionally and it is crucial to him surviving in life. We love him so much just as he is, and couldn't be happier that his autism is so mild. Unfortunately that in itself can be the biggest nightmare at times. Looking so perfectly normal yet acting, at times, so strangely. Well...this summer has definitely allowed me the time to really observe him around friends more closely to get better insight into how to teach him these things. I am so thankful for that and for just the time itself to be with him, swimming and having fun. Thank you summer! Until next post...bring on the sun and water!