Summer 2010 continued...

As you all know, we have been having soooo much fun this summer. Greyson and I swim alot at the pool but we have also done other stuff as well. Some days are just "stay at home" days and he plays LEGO'S, watches TV and just chills in his room. On Friday we got to go play with Ms Suzy and a group of kids at her house. Greyson was very excited. They made cupcakes, decorated them themselves, and then jumped on the trampoline with the hose on to relieve this unbelievable heat. I stayed and hung out too and it was so much fun. We love Ms Suzy. She was his second grade teacher and was a blessing for him. After we got done at Ms Suzy's house we headed straight to the swim club to swim a while with his newly found buddy Samuel. Greyson has had a time making new friends at the pool. He was doing his usual "stalking" of some older boys there, following them everywhere, yet never talking. He just listens to, and laughs at, everything they say following along trying desperately to fit in. He hasn't the social skills to do this effectively and it can be painful to watch. I see that they are thinking he is different and somewhat strange but he is clueless to their observations and reactions to him. I no longer allow him to follow along because of this. If he can;t protect himself...then damn it, I will. He met Samuel thank goodness who can at times also be a target for the cruelties of children and so they have been playing at the pool. So....we played at the pool with his buddy Samuel until 5pm. After that we headed home to change and then back out to Sonic for "Silly band night". We met Samuel and his family there and he had a blast there trading silly bands and eating his cheese burger. He was sooooo tired that day. He was pitiful once we got home and crashed immediately. Thank goodness too. Michele had to go out of town and had he not been sooooo tired he would have been balling that he missed her. He wasn't even able to be upset he fell asleep so fast. Saturday we went to a friends birthday party and had fun in their pool. We were there all day playing, eating, and playing some more. Greyson was doing great with the other kids until the end of the night. Things got a little too rough and some of the other kids got carried away. They were playing some animal game and Greyson ended up getting whacked with some plastic swords . He ran to me balling. He had been hit pretty hard because he had a welt on his arm so needless to say, several of the kids got a stern talking to from their moms. Poor guy. He was sooooo upset so we went ahead and left. Overall it was a great time and a great day. I think the main thing that I keep realizing in all of this is that no matter what, kids are going to see him as different. They may or may not realize it but he always is outside the group to some degree. Kids instinctively know this with any child who doesn't fall into that "norm". We always have to watch a little more closely to ensure things aren't turning ugly when he is with a group. Not that they intentionally do that necessarily but it does happen whether intentionally or not and things at that point can go south quickly. Worse is the feeling that it will only become more and more complicated as he gets older. He has to learn to protect himself, and we can't keep him in a bubble, but we do need to monitor situations and him closely. There is a fine line there for sure. His independence and being able to handle situations himself with us remaining just far enough away to help if need be. It continues to add to my craziness. Teaching him life skills and independence comes in slow steps. We move forward some and back some in hopes of moving forward more times than back. As summer winds down we keep stepping. Stepping until we reach 4th grade. I dread it to some degree because school is such an adjustment for him. New teacher, new room, new friends with some old mixed in, and so on. It can take up until Christmas for him to adjust and get into a comfort zone. the good news is he should have the same teacher for both 4th & 5th grades making life and transition into 5th grade hopefully easier. He has excelled so this summer. I think having NO school is such a relief for him and he is in such a better place during that time of year. For now...we will cherish the summer and what it holds for him and take school one day at a time once it comes. Summer, friend of Greyson,...please don't go soooo soon!

Last few days...Mid July

Greyson has been obsessed with treasures, archaeology & temples like this one pictured in Angkor Cambodia. He wants to be an archaeologist and the other day he read all about this particular temple online. He insisted that I find some temples for him to read about and this was the first one that came up. It really freaked me out that he was so interested in it. Then he wanted me to show him where Cambodia was on the map. Good lord. He is 9 years old and planning his first expedition. Complete with planes, treasures, booby traps and all. No spiders though...absolutely NO spiders! (Eight legged freaks!) Enough about that though...on with the rest of the story...
Greyson and momom and I received an invitation to go play at the lake this past Sunday. For those of you who don't know it, Michele is not a fan of water, boats, or anything to do with the two together and that's putting it lightly. She agreed we could go and take Greyson and I was floored. She is loosing up the grip some on the water thing now that he is proving he is a pretty good swimmer. So....off we went to Lake Norman. Our friends were very kind and patient with Greyson, and Michele... :) It turned out the tub wouldn't hold two people so G man was gonna have to go it alone on the lake if he rode at all. I have to admit that even made me a little nervous since his safety senses aren't always the best. We went over basic boat safety before getting there and told him some thing s he should be aware of so he was at least somewhat prepared. He got on the tub at first with Ms Trish but it just wasn't working with two people...so...it was decided he would ride alone and he agreed. That in itself was huge. He is branching out these days away from the womb. It usually happens in moments when I least expect it too. Our driver of the boat did a great job keeping him safe but making sure he had fun. He wiped out the first time after a very long ride and got a little choked but he was fine. Mostly just pissed off. He didn't take long getting over it and was pestering the tar out of us to ride again. We took a rest and played in a cove for a while swimming and then just before coming in gave him one last ride. He was quite the dare devil trying to get Deedee to turn him in circles and go faster...and faster...little dickens! Sometimes even riding with his hands behind his head while I motioned frantically for him to hang on! hahahahaaaaa It was a great time. Michele and I had a few loving glances at each other sitting on the back of that boat in between watching him so closely. The glances that said without words, "Our little boy is growing up fast." He is definitely becoming more and more confident as time goes by. Finding his way, testing the waters of what he can do, and building the confidence he needs to succeed in life. His come a little slower at times, but it comes. And when it does it is a wonderful feeling for us to know he has taken another step. He has been doing great at karate and will test in October for his black belt. Once he has done that we will let him take a brake from it for a while. He has been swimming better and better and is now taking lessons to improve his strokes. He is a really good and strong swimmer and I am going to try and encourage his joining the swim team next year. He told me no today due to him needing time to learn about archeology and build more LEGOS. He is serious and has decided he is going to be an archaeologist. Giving Michele serious heartburn. She prefers doctor, lawyer, etc...some money making field. I think she worries we will need him to be taking care of us. hahahahaaaaa I took him today to the book store and he chose a book about treasure, and another about rocks and minerals. i told Michele I need to research the colleges that specialize in archeology just in case. We need to know who will be taking all of our money soon. :) So...that being said, I will continue to lobby for swim team as I swam when I was younger and loved it. He will continue learning how to be an archaeologist and building LEGO temples. But hopefully we can find a way for both of those world to mesh so he can swim too and have a great time. He is the best...and personally I hope he is an archaeologist one day. I think he would be a damn good one. Goodnight all. Thanks for sharing in our little piece of this enormous world.

Ocracoke Trip 2010

Michele, Greyson and I went to Ocracoke Island, NC thanks to our good friend and had a wonderful time. We arrived last Saturday and stayed a week. We quickly rented a tandem and a single bicycle as that is the best way to get around there and began exploring the island. Greyson got to ride on the back with momom while I pedaled behind them on my bike. We saw Springer's trail where Blackbeard and his pirates once stomped, the beautiful harbor, the ferry, Pamlico Sound, the village of shops and restaurants and last but not least the beaches. Greyson did great with all that exercises since normally he spends most of the day chillin inside. We rode all over and I took over 500 pictures. Thank goodness for the digital age. Greyson had some issues since he didn't have all of the luxuries he is used to. (Tons of satellite channels, hahahahaaaaa) But he handled it pretty well...complaining minimally. It is trying at times just how he has to go back to his comfort zone. We would be at the beach and he would suddenly want to go back to the house. I know he needs his routine and we have to roll with that, but sometimes we both wanted to scream. Somehow we always manage to maintain and things turn out fine. Thank goodness. we got to spend about 3 days at the beach. The ocean was a little rough for him due to the wind there, but he had a great time in the shallows. I dug our big hole in the sand, as usual, and we made a huge sand castle. That's our ritual at the beach each time we go. He and I dig a hole and build a huge castle that he usually tears down if the tide doesn't get it first. :) It really was fun. He did go out to jump waves with momom only to wipe out and snort up a wave. He was NOT happy and we almost lost him for the day on that one. He recovered well and continued to play once he had time to calm down. We ate out at some wonderful places. One night he refused to take off his bike helmet. It's a big red one and he wore it proudly to the restaurant and wore it during the entire meal. Michele and I just laughed. No need to get uptight about things like that. People may stare but whatever...they are clueless. We kinda love that about him and he keeps us grounded for sure. He has also been known to sport his googles at the spray grounds as well. It's just a giant fountain at the park that they have for the kids to play in...he never goes in unprotected. Who knows...he may wear his bike helmet in there next week. He played Lego's alot while we were there and cracked us up one night in particular. He threw his Lego plane across the room complete with Indiana Jones in it and screamed (like he was the little Lego Indiana)..."Oh no! I think I ruptured by toxix!" hahaaaaa He has said this before and it cracks us up every time. This kid is a trip to say the least. Then again...most kids are. We are back and he was so relieved to see his kitty cats and dogs. I think he definitely loves coming home again to his calm familiar space with his things. Hooray for familiar and our little place in the world. Enjoy the pics from Ocracoke! Hugs...

Time for us...

Greyson, Michele and I are in the Outer banks at Ocracoke Island. (Thank you special friend-you know who you are. smiles & Hugs) We have only been here one day and it is wonderful. Beautiful views, laid back atmosphere...just lovin' it. We hung out in the harbor area last night, getting dinner, watching the sunset, and taking pictures. Greyson had a moment at the restaurant we chose due to it being right beside the docks and seafood market. Yes...you could smell fish and he was freaking. hahahahaaaa It really wasn't that bad but for him it is. We found a spot by a huge fan so he was fine after that. We ate and then took in the sites while the sun was setting. It was so beautiful with the sail boats, kayakers, water, docks and pink, orange & yellow skies. We had to take a ferry over to the island and I thought Michele was gonna have a heart attack. We chose the 40 minute ride over the 2.5 hour one from Cedar Island. She would have never made that without a panic attack and Greyson and I would probably have been right behind her. hahahahaaaa I have a history with water, beaches...and panic attacks. I used to have reoccurring dreams about tidal waves and so every now and again my mind gets the best of me. When I say re-occurring, we are talking hundreds of times in my childhood. Always pretty much the same and pretty darn freaky. But I shall think about something different right now since I am on an Island where you can pretty much see water on both sides easily. Greyson is having fun, we will be heading to the beach...the one with a lifeguard...and having some fun today. Digging in the sand, making castles and riding waves. For now we will walk around and see some more sites on this cute and beautiful Island. Hugs...we will be checking in later with updates.

So very proud...as always!

This is Greyson with his buddy "A" from karate class. They will test together in October for black belts if all goes well.
Greyson has been on a kick lately of claiming he doesn't like karate anymore and complains and/or lobbies to skip his bi-weekly session all the way there. Once there he always does a great job and I can tell he usually has a very good time doing it. So I have grown accustomed to ignoring his rants about why he wishes he didn't have to go. (Being the bad mommy I am and all-hahahaaaaa) Last night he had karate again. He is preparing for his black belt test in October so we are adamant that he stick with a pretty regular schedule there right now so he gets a good review of what he needs to know. Sparring in red man gear for protection is one of the things he has to do and know. Sparring happens at the end of each class for 15 minutes and again he lobbies to opt out. In sparring they either pair off in groups while his master watches and practice sparring, or they pair off just two at a time, while the rest sit and wait their turn, and do an actual sparring match. In the sparring match points are awarded. 1 point for each accurate hit to the opponent (targets are head, chest, sides) They can use one tap to the head for a point, a double punch to the chest, or a kick to the sides or chest. Greyson was up first and won his match. He then faced the next opponent, then the next and the next and the next. He went through the entire class until he was down to the last little boy. This little boy is literally half Greyson's size and I was curious to see what he would do. He has already had problems with not liking to hit his friends/classmates so his master had to talk with him about it letting him know that in this case it's OK. All the students are protected and in a controlled situation and he wants them to do that. That being said, here stood this tiny little boy against Greyson who looked even bigger than normal. Needless to say Greyson won that match too, but his master praised him for being so gentle, and giving his hits very lightly. Greyson said I tried to hit very lightly on purpose. His master was very proud of his self control, his technique, and his overall performance. He won every match (about 7 of them) straight...the whole class! It was awesome to see his confidence level grow with each match he took. He was proud, but not arrogant about it which was huge. He obviously had thought it through and decided to spar a particular way using the same technique each time. It worked! Come to find out...it's the same technique master Hartsell uses. Funny thing though...he has never shown them that to my knowledge. Greyson is a master at observing, figuring things out, and then using whatever knowledge he gained once he is confident to do so. He never ceases to amaze me doing this. It happens constantly at school and it, as I have said before, is maddening. His way of seeming to be off in the distance somewhere, yet listening and focused in on everything around him. Sometimes it backfires as Michele and I have a heck of a time finding a place to talk without him zeroing in on our conversations. Ol' bionic ears is always listening...always! As he said himself to us once before, "Mommy Lynn my ears are so good, I just heard a fly break wind in Africa!" hahahahaaaaaa That boy ain't right...he just ain't right.

Observations of "B"...

While Greyson swims at the pool I usually watch him closely. Not that he can't swim, he can, I just watch him as he interacts with others. Then again maybe "interacts" is pushing it. I will give him credit. He will at least get around the crowd of kids playing and stay in close proximity. More like a stalker. I say this in jest. Its sad to see him and be able to see that he really wants to join in but doesn't ever ask or talk to them. He just tends to laugh hysterically at anything and everything they say, and follows them any and everywhere they go, watching them from the outskirts. I realize more and more how hard social interactions are for these kids. He is doing quite well but still struggles. He has no clue when they aren't being friendly or when they are being mean, making fun, etc...unless it is painfully obvious. Let me add painfully obvious to you or me is not something that would be painfully obvious to him. For him to clue in it has to be "really" obvious if you know what I mean. He does know two other boys at the pool, so that helps, but he is "the new guy". That adds a level of toughness to fitting in. The crowd of boys are all very athletic and I can tell they have realized right away he is not like them. So I sit and watch, letting him have some rope and freedom to try to learn life and survival skills, but not letting him get too far. We can't allow him to be totally thrown to the wolves without the same defenses and skills that come naturally to most. It's not always easy to watch. To see the longing on his face to go and play. To be invited into the game without mommy having to ask for him. I see it all over his face. I have tried to discuss with him some boundaries of what is OK and what isn't OK to allow someone to say or do to you. His response is pretty much always the same. "Can we not talk about this." We have to find a way to ensure he understands boundaries for himself and others so he doesn't get hurt by anyone and so he doesn't hurt anyone either. That would apply physically and emotionally and it is crucial to him surviving in life. We love him so much just as he is, and couldn't be happier that his autism is so mild. Unfortunately that in itself can be the biggest nightmare at times. Looking so perfectly normal yet acting, at times, so strangely. Well...this summer has definitely allowed me the time to really observe him around friends more closely to get better insight into how to teach him these things. I am so thankful for that and for just the time itself to be with him, swimming and having fun. Thank you summer! Until next post...bring on the sun and water!

Summer time 2010...