loveforbeatle

Home sick with Mr. Pitiful

2012-02-07T16:00:00.000-05:00

Life has been somewhat interesting lately. I am in school, making life slightly more hectic than usual and Greyson seems to be one of two things lately. Very needy...or pissed at the world and hormonal. He has been suffering from "I don't want to go to school" syndrome and he came home yesterday saying he didn't feel good. He did have an upset stomach so I put him in the bed where he stayed until he ate dinner. Then he headed right back...not normal for him. His stomach acted ugly a few more times so this am we decided to keep him home which means...no going to class for mommy. UGH... (Disclaimer-I am old and cannot afford to miss too many lectures of art history for those brain infusions are crucial to my success) Just sayin'... None the less, we are here and he does seem to be feeling better. He did however have a crying pitiful moment of I don't want to go to school I just want to spend time with you and momom all of the time. Later tonight he will reprimand me I am sure for some idiotic moment of embarrassment. I obviously have them a lot. I guess turning 11 is when the fun starts. I always thought it was a teen thing. I guess pre-teen emotional breakdowns are just the precursor to warm you up as a parent for the fun that follows. Great...somebody needs to write that darn manual I tell you. The emotional swings right now are so much fun, the crying, the freaking out, the screaming, the "stop embarrassing me!" Who freakin' knew that breathing or just looking a certain way could be so damn embarrassing? He may just be getting warmed up but guess what. I am definitely just getting warmed up on that embarrassing thing. Jen, I hope you are reading this. I think we should dye our hair some bright ass color and start showing these 'mini me's' just how darn embarrassing we can be. heheheheeee Seriously though, I don't want to push my boy over the edge. Just maybe to the edge so he can see the other side more clearly. I do feel sorry for the boy. He can't help the changes his body is going through. He is under attack so I guess it's only fair to attack whoever is closest. I do love him to the whole wide world. Regardless of his duel personality lately. (((hugs to my Gman))) For now, these two moms will buckle up for safety.

Always Believe...

2011-12-18T13:29:00.005-05:00

Well here we are just before Christmas and Greyson is starting to get more and more excited. He might be 11 years old but he still is a believer. He is starting to get a little curious as to how the whole thing is even possible but he is still a firm believer. I prefer it that way. I think the magic of believing helps keep him innocent and childlike and that should be cherished for as long as possible. At least that's my belief. He has really been coming out of his shell more and more through the years and this year he sang in the school informance. That was big for him because even though he has a beautiful voice he normally chooses to be shy about it. He was even grabbing that mic when it was his turn to sing. We hope to get him into NWSA for middle and high school. It is an arts magnet here in Charlotte that focuses on the arts. No athletics...just arts at this school. Visual arts, theater, music & dance. He will be trying out for chorus and visual arts. He has alot of strengths in the arts areas so hopefully he can show that. We shall see. Getting his portfolio together is proving to be quite the challenge but somehow I hope to prevail. The school is very specific as to what they want and expect so now I have to convince Mr Literal (black & white). "why would I want to draw something from a worm's eye view mom? I have a human's eye view!" UGH!!!! Yes...yes...I know but they want you to imagine what it would look like from a worm's eye view and show them. "Why would I want to do that? I have a human's eye view." On and on and on it goes...when it will end...nobody knows. Good thing I have patience at least one day a week. Things are great, but he is having some anxiety about going to a new school next year. He has grown quite attached to CCS and his team of teachers that assist him. He has been very concerned to know whether the new school will have a teacher like his current teacher who understands him. I hope they will but she does understand him so well. She has a nephew with Autism so she understands where Greyson is coming from most all of the time and handles him brilliantly. She can get him to do most anything. I can only hope for more wonderful teachers like her. He has had some great teachers at CCS thank goodness so I hope we can continue the trend as we move forward. For now...we will prepare for Christmas and Santa, and embrace the innocence that is still left in him. We are sure it will not be there much longer. Always believe big man...always believe! Believe in the magic of things you can't explain and best of all, always believe in yourself!

In Time...

2011-10-30T14:44:00.002-04:00

I just finished a project for my 2D class at school. It is a series of paintings, all the same images, using 6 different color schemes. I had to choose an idiom to conceptualize so I chose "hold your horses". Mainly because that is something I am confronted with daily and probably have been my entire life. You know, waiting patiently and/or allowing things to happen within their own time. Slowing down some and not being so hasty, in life and decisions in general. I chose this one because after Greyson came along it seemed his presence, and who he is, was was going to be a lesson in this to me. Don't get me wrong, all children are a test of our patience, but who he is brought it to another level for me. For me there is a fine line there between what separates calm, peaceful and chaotic. It's a balance, a give and take. A battle if you will between the ego, control, trust and letting go. Greyson is approaching a crossroads and will be headed into 6th grade next year. Middle school...ugh! We have some really good options for him and are hoping he gets into NWSA. He excels in those areas and it would be wonderful for him we are thinking. However, we know school work is not something he is fond of and next year will really "up the Annie". Personally I worry that I should have a stronger hand in forcing him to do more school work but he loathes it. I feel I have failed him in that area. Everything is a battle on either side of that fine line. Everything comes back to that fine line. When to push for more and when to back off. He normally comes through in his own time on things, but I do still worry. I have moments of wishing it were easier with him at times. Funny how we look at others, compare ours to theirs even though we shouldn't. We do it with a lot of things even though deep down we know its ludicrous.
I couldn't help but think while I was painting...Life, it's kinda like art. We do what we have to do, what works for us, not really caring what others think. Yet we have that little voice that also cares what others think. We go through life having to balance the two. That fine line...as an artist I have something to say and a way of saying it. Part of me could care less what anyone thinks while part of me wants people to recognize and get it. To feel and see the emotion I am expressing within the image and to love and embrace it. I feel that way with our son...I get him. Part of me doesn't care if no one else does, yet I so want the people who encounter him to see what I see. Not just the eccentricities he may display but to see deep within his soul and to know the amazing boy in there. It's a fine line isn't it? A balancing act. Everything, In time...

Greyson quotes worth remembering...

2011-09-11T10:52:00.000-04:00

Yesterday after checking the mail and finding no new LEGO ebay buys from momom..."I am SO cheesed off right now!"

"what is"

2011-09-10T11:42:00.001-04:00

It has been too long once again. I must find the time to update this more often because time slips by much to quickly. Greyson has started his 5th grade year at CCS. This is bittersweet for me since I know he isn't far from entering "middle school", a time which may prove to be overwhelming and is for most children with autism. We shall see. For now we are concentrating on what is. What is is that he has made great strides since he was diagnosed in 2008. He graduated form OT in August after about 3 years of it once a week working on fine motor, motor coordination, core body strength, sensory issues and social skills. He is doing great and we are so proud of him. He still has issues with avoiding work when it is something new or something he preserves as too much or too hard. He will shut down or runaway from it but he is doing much better. I think he will probably always do this to some degree but once he realizes he has something he is good to go. He shows you what he knows in his own time and that's fine by me. He has much better control of himself although he does still on occasion have a meltdown and it's never pretty. I have come to realize through all of this that this tree is one that the apple fell very close to. Now that I am back in school I see it even more. What a challenge it is but I am very excited for the opportunity. All the newness has actually turned out to be good for our family and especially for Greyson. He needed to learn more independence and with me being gone from his school now he cannot run to me when things get really rough. He has to find ways of dealing with it and thanks to his teacher he has been pretty good thus far. He seems to be proud that he and I are going to school at the same time. I found that out thanks to our wonderful play therapist. Greyson is a master at hiding how he feels and what he is thinking. He is NOT the talker when it comes to those types of conversations. But mention Star Wars or LEGOS and look out...better yet...buckle up for safety! We hope to get him into Northwest School of the Arts next year. He has an eye for art and drawing and we hope to focus on these strengths so he can continue to feel successful at school. We have some other schools that seem like they may be good fits as well but any new place will be a challenge at first. It's just nature of the beast. Open Houses here we come...that's where I start to have slight worry. I know what new places and new environments will bring for him and for us. For now I have to remain focused on "what is"...and "what is" is that we have an awesome boy who loves to draw, loves to build with LEGOS, loves Star Wars, loves Stop motion and wants to learn more about it. "What is" is that I am back in school hoping to bring myself into a place to make a difference for him, our family and the world. "What is" is a house full of love, laughs, hugs, tears, some unnecessary yelling at times, compassion, doubt, a touch of fear, understanding, sacrifice, some selfishness, and all that stuff families are made of. "what is" is that I couldn't be happier, or in a better place other than where I am right now and I love that. Thank you once again to you all who are a part of our lives in some way or another. You help make everything alright. :)

drifting & swimming

2011-07-05T14:53:00.000-04:00

Greyson has had a wonderful summer thus far and so have we. we haven't been able to hit the beach unfortunately but we have done some other fun things. We visited Ohio already to see cousins and grandma and that was fun. He has been spending some time with me at the pool while I work too. he complains about going but usually once he is there all is good. He loves the water even if he doesn't want to admit it always. We hit the spray ground the other day too and got to see some friends form school so we are trying to stay busy. He is really enjoying the movie Cars2 right now so we have been looking for fun racing things to do. This past Sunday we took him to see the Xtreme Drifting competition at Lowes Motor Speedway in Concord. That turned out to be really fun for him. Although the heat had us outta there pretty early. He wore his head set for noise protection so he was fine. We saw some races and some drifting competitions and then left to go to the movies. He is keeping us one our toes and laughing as usual too. The other morning while on our way to Ohio we stopped at Bob Evans for breakfast. He cracked us up by blurting out, "You gotta party really hard to open up the mind eye!" He had drawn a "third eye" on his forehead with the Bob Evans blue crayon...NICE! He heard it on some show he watches on CN. Everyday is an adventure at our house...even if some do end with me on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The fun just keeps on comin'. with no end in site. Gotta love that! Hugs everybody, until next time.

Summer is here!

2011-06-19T14:58:00.001-04:00

Summer is finally here and along with it the challenge of getting Greyson out of the house. I am working at a swimming pool so on those days he can go with me to work and swim until I get off. Not only is it great exercise for him but it helps me get him out and about and into the sun. Good ol' vitamin D! He loves the solitude of the water and the peaceful feeling it brings to him. He could float for hours or stay under even longer if he could breath under there. The days I don't work are challenging. If I suggest fun things he wants nothing to do with any of it. I think I am going to have to take the route of just go for it and do it. Otherwise he will opt for the familiar every time. Sitting in front of the TV, playing LEGO or his video games all day long. We are at least reading a book called 'The Last Dragon' and so far it is very good. He says he isn't enjoying it but I know different. I can tell he is curious to see what happens next. So...I read on hoping to spark his interest in reading for himself. Right now he is not a big fan. I never was either until later in life. Never felt like I was very good at it and I think he pretty much feels the same way. For now...I will continue to read to him. Eventually something will trigger him wanting to read and learn things for himself. I plan on going to the Edventure museum sometime this summer, along with Latta Plantation, Raptor Center, the spray grounds around our area, the parks and where ever else I can find some fun for little to no money. I want him to learn the joys of going places and doing things unplanned. We both could use lessons in that. I am getting better but he still has a ways to go. He likes his familiarity and anything else can rock his world. I want to push him some, but not over the edge if you know what I mean. That's never fun! hahahahahaa Any of our peeps that want to meet up this summer for some park time, spray ground, or anything else exciting give me a buzz. We would love to have some company in our adventures this summer where ever they may lead. Happy summer everyone.

On being a mom...anyone can be a mother

2011-05-07T15:09:00.000-04:00

Funny how life works. There was a time in my life when I would have thought it would be a cold day in hell before I would give birth. (Funny thing...it snowed the night Greyson was born. Not that it's hell here but...at times...)
That said, things change. Thanks to a most wonderful partner of about 14 years. When I met Michele I knew I wanted to be with her for the long haul if you will. so off we set on our adventure together. Approximatley 2 years later we started talking about trying to have a child together and that we did. Greyson was born on November 20th, 2000 weighing in at a whopping 10lbs. 4 ozs. C-sections are a wonderful thing in some cases...this was one of them. I can walk upright & somewhat normal today thanks to that moment. Not to sound all cheesy, but what a blessing both Greyson and Michele are to me. Being a mom to Greyson has offered me so much that words will never do the experience justice. I just pray I am offering him as much as he has offered, and continues to offer, me on a daily basis. The gifts being a mom have brought to me are imeasurable. Most importantly, Greyson has been teaching me so much. Listening is way more important than just hearing. And, as I said in the prior post, some of the most important things in life are to be experienced, not heard. I continue to struggle with this but I do know it to be true. with him around, I will not fail. I will not fail in finding the best in him and in myself. On top of that, I could not ask for a more supportive and helpful partner in our quest to assist this little guy on his life journey and ours. I think we make a hell of a team and complement each other well in our efforts to guide, love, and support Greyson. I made Michele a card today. To honor her as a mother, partner, and friend. You see, anyone can be a mother, but it takes someone really special and nurturing to become a mom. Biology doesn't make a mom...unconditional love, selflessness and dedication does. She may not have given birth to Greyson, but she shows him daily how much she loves him. thank you Boog for being the best mom our son could have. I love you dearly..."to the whole wide world". You are gift enough on such a special day.

I have a voice...MUTE!

2011-05-03T10:34:00.000-04:00

Greyson's school had a talent show recently so he had been busy picking out a song to lip sing. I wish he would really sing because he has a beautiful voice. I know he does but he is too embarrassed too share it. So....he went on his mission of picking the song determined to lip sing. Well, a funny thing happened. He had to practice before the actual day of the show and all he had for music was his ipod. So, he had his ear buds in and, at the encouragement of his teacher, sang along with the song he wanted to sing during practice while turned away form his classmates. His teacher, along with his classmates, was stunned by his voice. They were so excited and taken back at how beautiful it was. We were all hoping to talk him into really singing for all of the school, staff & parents on talent show day. The big day came and he was having no part of it. That's just way too many folks for his comfort level so he opted out. He wouldn't even hold the mic so that we might hear some of his sweet voice. instead he stood up there and lip sang his song. I was sooo proud of him just even getting up there. That is always a huge thing just to be able to do that. The entire performance really made me think. Think of how ironic the whole thing was. There is always a story there, a song, a voice. We may not hear it like we expect to hear it, but it is there. You just have to listen with more than your ears. You have to listen with all of your senses. With your soul, and with your heart. I heard him loud and clear that day. How often are we not listening? We hear plenty, but we rarely listen. Especially to those who communicate differently than we do. They have a voice, they have an intelligence and a sensitivity beyond anything we can imagine. It may not fall in the parameters of what we are used to but we set those parameters. I think it is time we expand them. They have plenty to tell us and we need to be listening.
Greyson's song was his tribute to a friend he had his first year there. His second grade year. He really misses her and her friendship. I think she helped him alot that year. She was kind to him and helpful to him and he has NEVER forgotten her. He feels things on such a deep level it is scary sometimes. Especially for a child his age. His song was beautiful and so is his voice. I hope one day he will find the courage to share it with others, but if not maybe they will still hear it, sense it, feel it. He is a sensitive and beautiful soul and we are proud to have been given time with this rare and special gift of a boy we call Greyson.

Our "not so little" Tin Man

2011-03-27T09:02:00.000-04:00

One of Greyson very special teachers left CCS Friday. She got a full time position finally so I cannot blame her for leaving but it was bitter sweet. She was a blessing to us during his 2nd grade year last year because she really took a shine to him. She assisted him and went out of her way to make sure he kept his self esteem while he was learning new things. He really loved her and so did I. Ever since he has been at CCS he has had alot of great teachers from his EC team to his OT & Speech therapist to his regular teachers, but Mrs. Lee was especially good to him. I went into the cafe' Friday before I was leaving to check on him at lunch. He was sitting there with some peers eating and not talking at all. The cafe' was extremely chaotic while Mrs. Lee handed out pizza she and her husband had bought for the whole school. A very sweet gesture from a wonderful woman and teacher on her departure. The kids were crazy and Greyson wasn't enjoying being in all that chaos. He didn't complain though. I think he has learned to go off somewhere away from it all even when he is sitting smack in the middle of it. He looked dazed while he crammed his cheeseburger into his mouth. I asked him if he knew that Mrs. Lee was leaving and his head went down immediately. He had not known. I knew right then I needed to stay with him because he was going to be upset. I explained why she was leaving and he just stared into space. I asked if he wanted me to stay with him and he shook his head yes. Still no talking. I stayed and later asked if he just wanted to head home with me after lunch. He finished eating and even had a piece of pepperoni pizza that Mrs. Lee brought. After that was finished he walked over to give her a hug. I couldn't look because she was crying and so was he. She and I had cried already in early lunch so I just turned away this time and waited from across the room. It was a very sad day and he was pitiful. We gathered his things and headed home. Once we got into the car I asked if he was ok and he shook his head yes. I asked him what she said to him. He said she told him about the Wizard of Oz and that she told him what Dorthy told the Tin Man. She hugs and kisses him and says, "I think I'll miss you most of all." After Greyson told me this, he turned to stare out of the window silently while we headed off home.

Brave G-man-Blue Bear saves the day

2011-03-12T19:07:00.000-05:00

Thursday afternoon Greyson was complaining of pain in his groin area as we left school. Once we got home it seemed to get worse. Bad enough that i called the doctor to get him an appointment. They could not see him until Monday and told me to call again in the morning if it got any worse. Well...of course, it got worse. Much worse. I gave him some Tylenol and put ice on the area and waited. He was very upset and walking funny so Michele and I even debated going to the ER. Instead we waited it out until morning. The next morning I just drove on up to the doctor's office with Greyson and his beloved Blue Bear. They checked him out and were concerned enough that they wanted him to see a pediatric urologist. Poor guy was scared to death and I was putting up the "everything will be fine" front for him. Inside I was very worried too after reading about his pain on webMD. Out of the things it could be none were things you would wish on anyone, much less a 10 year old boy. I know reading those things can scare the life out of you but I had to see what could be causing his pain. We have no men in the house to ask these man questions to so...webMD bring it on. So, after waiting a while they scheduled him for an ultrasound to check him out. I took him to Target, "the circle store" for a surprise and coloring book and we headed off to the hospital. He was being very brave but every so often admitted to me he was scared. We had Blue Bear there in my bag but he was putting on the "big boy" front and left him in there until no one was around. I was scared too but I lied. Lies are not always bad and in this case they are warranted. I watched as the finished the ultrasound and hoped everything was ok. The results were reported to his doctor right away so they could schedule us with the pediatric urologist. After the scan he and I headed home to wait. Finally the specialist called and asked us to come on into the office so they could check Greyson out. Blue Bear rode with us there too. Thank goodness the specialist said he thought the issue would go away on it's own. He explained to me what he thought it was and luckily it was none of the things that could have been very bad. He wanted him to take it easy for a while though. Whew...poor guy was scared to death they were gonna take blood or give him a shot. I lobbied his doctor for some anxiety meds and topical cream just in case. That would have put him over the edge. Thank goodness yesterday there was no invasive procedures and he came away pretty much fine. He is still hurting some so we will keep an eye on him. Overall things are pretty good considering it could have been something much worse. Hooray for good news, Blue Bear and a brave brave boy. We love you G-man. You scared me and momom half to death but you'll never know it.

Stop! You're embarrassing me!

2011-02-25T20:19:00.000-05:00

It's Friday! Greyson's entire school headed to Imaginon to see a wonderful African dance & drumming show called Dejembe Fire. Our class gets there just before the show is to start. Greyson's class was already there and awaiting the show. They led our class in and to my demise the only section left was one in the very front left of the theater. Great! So we sit down...our K-1 class of rowdy little folks and wait. I myself am already a little nervous. First, I am sitting right on the freakin' end of the row and second, these shows always grab folks out of the crowd for some good ol' fashion participation and fun. I think, well...maybe I will be safe. You see, Greyson cannot stand for me to do anything remotely embarrassing. He freaks, and sometimes will even cry if he feels it is bad enough. Usually it isn't even anything that warrants his reaction but everything to him deserves over reaction. So the show starts and there is mad drumming, dancing, and all kinds of interaction. Then it happens. The lady exclaims that she heard Charlotte had the BEST dancers around. That's when it hit me, right in the gut. That horrible feeling that something is about to go terribly wrong. And yes...things did go South fast. They say the expert pickers of "talented dancers" would be headed out into the audience and if you are tapped you were to come onto the stage. GREAT! I all but rolled into a ball...became part of the theater chair and still I was chosen, of course, to go up and shake my groove thang. UGH! I went up and prayed my son would not scream and melt down from somewhere in the blackness of the crowd. I along with at least 10 others, did our dance moves as we were taught. Then to top of the embarrassment to Greyson, I was chosen again to solo a part of the dance with our instructor. She claimed she noticed one of the ladies who must really spice it up in the kitchen when cooking and wanted her to show off her moves. Lovely! I am sure I looked like I was doing the white woman's overbite the entire time. (So Grace! How are things at the palace? Fine! Thank you for asking!) I hear Greyson was crying and hiding under his coat. I had managed to humiliate him to the "nth" degree whether I meant to or not. Poor guy! He somehow survived it and did not freak too badly. Years ago it would have been much worse. Probably him running down and yanking me off stage while screaming the whole time. So today was a lesson in being a good sport, participation, and living through something we thought was horrible that turned out to be not quite as bad as we all thought. The lesson will continue of course but it was s step forward none the less. I need a full time gig but I don't think those folks at Dejembe Fire will be hiring me anytime soon. My inner African has just been ready to bust out! Today was the big day...Sorry Greyson! Mommy loves you "to the whole wide world" regardless of what you think.

Valentine's Day 2011

2011-02-14T16:46:00.000-05:00

It is that big day for some...Valentine's day. Greyson did not have school today but we did have a student,parent & teacher conference. It went well and I think he is plugging along in school as he always has. Soaking up things as he goes and not always letting on to what he has in that brain of his. His teacher went over his MAPS scores which are supposed to act as a gauge for where he is and how well he progressing. I am not sure those things are accurate as far as he is concerned so I do not put much weight in it. Never the less they have to have something to gauge where the children are throughout the year. So...I listened and went on my merry way once we were through. He needs some work in spelling because he still continues to spell phonetically. It makes his written work quite the interesting read for sure. You must be on your toes when reading anything he has put down on paper. He had a poem that cracked me up. Having the NO filter mouth he had written about batman and all of his awesome qualities. Then he ended it with Batman's enemies are CRAP! hahahahahahaaa The teacher laughed but she had to alter it for our family friendly atmosphere at school when she hung it up...saying they were "nothing", or something along those lines. Greyson was not pleased with her having to do this she said. hahahahahaaa I can hear him screaming now, "For the love of God Pete!" His favorite explicative. He showed me some of his work while we were there but didn't explain much about any of it in true Greyson fashion. I had to pull from him any information I wanted on any given item. It's like pulling teeth. Ugh. He also enjoyed throwing each item at me after finding them in his cubby hole. What fun...afterwards we got him some lunch and headed to the park for a day of fun with his pal Umberto. He had a great time. I had to offer a few social prompts to him but overall he did great. I am still trying to help him understand the whole it can't always be his way, or what he wants to do. He has to remember the give & take. He does much better but still falls into the "let me tell you what we are gonna do" if we are not careful. Tonight we shall celebrate. Celebrate that our little family truly loves each other..."to the whole wide world" as Greyson says. I couldn't be luckier to have such a wonderful partner and son. I am proud to call them family. Today, and everyday, I celebrate our love. I'm so glad, you're my family!..."If your in my heart, you're in my family...if I'm in your heart, I'm in your family" So that said...extended family and friends...that goes for all of you too. You know who you are! Happy Valentine's and thank you for the love you provide daily. <3

LEGO catalog melt down

2011-01-22T10:11:00.000-05:00

Fridays are supposed to be great days. Being the last day of school and/or work. The start of a weekend where we do what we want to do when we want to do it. Well, yesterday wasn't that great in Greyson's eyes. He had a pretty good day until it happened. His LEGO catalog, which he takes to school to look at and read, was missing at the end of the day. Needless to say his organization skills are lacking and even the things he cherishes most aren't kept up with as they should be. All that aside he did pretty good handling the stiuation. Not great, but I have seen much worse. He looked for it in every possible place he could remember having it ,while I waited patiently. His teacher tried to help but none of us could find it. It was practically shredded anyway due to it being looked through time an time again. So, once he finally realized he had exhausted all the places it could be he started to ball. We looked one last time in his cubby beside his teachers desk but it was not there. At that point he crawled under his teachers desk, pulled her chair into the space to cover himself and cried. I sat there with him so no one would aggravate or pick on him while he had his moment. We talked and he cried. He finally came out and we looked a little more, he cried a little more, and finally I was able to head him out the door to get in the car and go home. He was so sad. I offered several solutions but nothing could replace that particular catalog. He managed to pull himself together finally, with the help of a M&M's vanilla frosty, and we headed on home.
Another day and another lesson. I didn't even mention it to him but hopefully he gets it. Hopefully he can rally back but his past few days have been hard ones. Not extremely bad, but bad in relation to how he has been lately. Today is a new day and he is a happy camper playing LEGO Star Wars on his Wii. Have fun Gman...it's Saturday!

A boy torn by lessons

2011-01-20T18:19:00.002-05:00

Greyson had a bad day today. It started out ok at OT although he did get a little upset at the end when his therapist wanted to try the bicycle.  He is soooo afraid he is going to crash on the bike. He has always been so unstable because his core body strength was lacking along with his balance. He has worked very hard at building those muscles up but still has left over fears of the instability of riding the bicycle itself. Other than that his OT day went well. He has a new buddy there who has Aspergers as well so I see some play dates in our future. :)
After OT we stopped for our Thursday ritual of a snack and some Gatorade for our ride back to school. It's quit a trek to Mooresville for OT but those people are worth every mile and then some. I love them to no end and don't mind telling anyone. Especially those that may need their services. I sing their praises to all. Once we got to school Greyson seemed pretty good. Later in the day though I saw his teacher and found out he had had a bad day. Nothing horrible, just some what out of sorts kinda day. He had some trouble on the play ground. It seems he feels he doesn't have many friends. He does have a few friends, but he is going through some struggles with them. You see, he realizes that these friends don't always make good choices and sometimes they don't do the right thing. This in itself kills him because he is the rule follower and freaks when the rules are not being followed. If he is clear on the rules, he is following them neurotically. So, he struggles between telling the teacher when something isn't right and hanging with "the guys". I wanted to cry today on the way home watching his face telling me about it. He also has some girl friends but he said they do their own thing. I said, "well, did you ask to join in or to play with them?" He told me he did not so I told him that it is ok to ask to play with them if that is what he wants to do. He just looked so lost and out of sorts. The play ground thing must have eaten at him for the remainder of the day because his teacher said he got into some trouble in music, which he LOVES. He was put out in the hall and she spoke with him. Once he got himself back together he went back in only to end up back in her room a short time later. She asked him what was wrong and he claimed he was just having a bad day. He didn't know what to do to make it better so he just spent the remainder of his music time with her. That is best once he reaches that point. He was at a place where he just couldn't seem to reel himself back and she got it. She wasn't mad, she just got it and let him be with himself. Hooray for her love and patience with him. Hooray for a school that embraces and works with these children who could so easily end up as casualties elsewhere.  We know all too well what can happen if you find yourself somewhere that doesn't have the patience or resources to help. It's not pretty and a child's self esteem is a fragile thing.
After school was out Greyson and I stopped and got him a frosty and talked as we rode home. he asked if I knew about his day. I said I did. I assured him that I knew he was hurting and torn between hanging out with his friends and doing what is right. You see he doesn't want to hang out when he knows they are doing things or talking about things they shouldn't be. But he still wants them to be his friend. Finding friends has been hard enough so this adds a whole new level of frustration to his world. He constantly talks of how he doesn't understand why some of the others don't follow the rules and how he thinks that isn't very kind to his teacher. I told him to only worry about himself and things will be fine as long as he is making sure he is doing what he is supposed to do. I told him momom and I love him and love that he is so honest. His following the rules and doing what's right makes our hearts smile and makes us proud to call him our son. Between you and me, he isn't golden but he is a wonderful guy with a huge tender heart. He may not always show it but it is enormous. He wears his heart on his sleeve and is very intense when it comes to his emotions. His intensity is to the point of scaring us sometimes with how deeply he thinks about certain things.  I really worry about him because of this. I worry he could become to lost in his emotions. I also know that the depth of our sorrows is equal or proportionate to the depth of our love and joys.  We just hope his love and his joys in this world far outweigh the sorrows. Today he fought the battle, the battle of right vs. wrong, good vs. evil, however you choose to put it. I believe he chose wisely although he also found out the truth. The truth that there is always a price no matter the choice. We all question the price at times. We all question life and its silly way of keeping us on our toes, ensuring we are learning all the time. Here's to life and it's lessons. Be present to it. It's beautiful, this journey we all are on.

Dancin' into another year

2011-01-08T15:36:00.002-05:00

Here we are moving well into the new year and each day I see more and more the independence Greyson in asserting. I am thrilled but, at the same time, slightly miss my little boy. It's funny to watch this transition into manhood. He bounces back and forth from, "I got this" to "Help me, I need you!" Each moment for learning and gaining the confidence and self assurance he needs to make his way in this ever changing world of ours. Stepping forward, stepping back. Like a dance twirling, moving and dipping with the highs and lows that life brings. Sometimes graceful, sometimes disastrous. Either way, it's all part of the plan, part of our journey. As the song says, "I hope you dance." Well my sweet man, here's to you, keep on dancin' like no one is watchin'.

I Hope You Dance

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance...

Welcome 2011

2011-01-02T22:00:00.001-05:00

Here it is, 2011. Another year gone by and Greyson is doing well. I sometimes forget just how well he is doing because of those moments when we are having challenges. Being with him day to day I still find myself thinking at times that I wish things were easier for him. Then I always find something that snaps me back into the reality of how great he really is. I did alot of reading during Christmas finishing two books that I had longed to read but hadn't found the time. One was 'The Alchemist' which was an amazing book to say the least. I will find time one day to read it again I am sure. The other book I have had for a while. It is 'The Horse Boy'. A true story about a boy who is autistic and his father finds a beautiful way to connect to him through a horse named Betsy. Once he opens the door into his son's world he longs to find a way to help him out of some of the disabling behaviors that are taking a toll on his son's quality of life. They end up traveling to Mongolia, the origin of horses, to seek healing from the shaman of the reindeer people. Amazing story and movie if you are so inclined. I tell you this because while reading the story I had many revelations. His son, Rowan, was more severe than Greyson. He tantrums much more often and way more intensely than anything we have witnessed in Greyson. He was afraid of having a bowel movement so he would stand and poop himself regularly. I thought about how blessed we have been not to have had a son who was less verbal with all of the more severe behaviors, but at the same time thought to myself, It's all relative. They went to the far ends of the earth to end up with a son who is doing phenomenal in comparison to where he started. He currently is probably where Greyson was in the beginning of his diagnosis. I then thought to myself how far Greyson has come too. Everything seems funny to me in how we find ourselves always on this journey. This journey that takes you on highs and lows that are so relative to where you started. Never stopping enough to be thankful for where we are right in the moment. To accept who and where we are in the present and forgive whatever shortcomings may come with that place/space. This father was celebrating what we had longed to make better for our son. Mainly because of where our journeys began. You may think me crazy for even thinking about this but I find it important. I started our journey feeling guilty I had allowed a school to mistreat my son. Feeling I hadn't done enough to stop them from smashing his delicate self esteem. All because I trusted the powers that be. I felt helpless and mad that people were judging him and his behaviors without knowing him or even wanting to get to know him. I felt the need to tell people about his condition while my partner had no understanding of why I felt the need to do this. I look back and wonder how much was for him as opposed to me. I found myself talking about it alot to people. I spent hours reading books, studying the Internet and filling my brain with information regarding what to do etc. As a parent you want to make life simpler, more normal for them but what is normal? That was normal to him. It was the rest of us goobers that weren't getting it. I still find myself in a place where if I get defensive and I am very protective of him. I also find myself wondering still when he is having a moment, "Is this 10 year old boy stuff, or is this Aspergers stuff?" Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? I guess all of this said I realize that we are all on a journey. The most important thing to remember is...To be present in that very important moment as it will never repeat itself ever again. Be willing to forgive yourself for who and where you are on that journey. Embrace it and learn from it if need be. Be aware of the moments when you fall back, reflect, dust yourself off and then be present once more. I sat in one of the seminars I attended for Landmark and realized that we all are striving toward something. Each of us thinking of, and striving for that step up from where we are. And if we got there, another step up...then another, then another. It never ends and we spend our lives missing that beautiful moment. That moment that will never repeat itself ever again. Be present. It's where you are, it's who you are and isn't that enough? Trust me, I believe it is.

Dedicated to my girls! (4presence)

Thank you all for your guidance, inspiration, love, laughter & friendship!

Christmas fast approaches...

2010-12-19T16:29:00.003-05:00

Christmas is fast approaching and I have been so slack all year in my blogging. I really want to do a better job in 2011 so I will try to buckle down. Things have been really strange this year in that money has been extremely scarce, but I am feeling so happy and content. I do worry at times, but not like I have in the past. My life journey this year has taken a turn for the better. I find myself on a wonderful path surrounded by an extraordinary group of friends. I don't always talk to all of them as much as I would like, but their presence in my life inspires me none the less. Some of them I see more often than others due to work, but all of them have a special place in my heart. As far as our journey with Greyson, I have found myself in a different place with that too. I have always felt that a person needs to go to extremes before finding a happy place midway. When Greyson first got diagnosed I filled my days and nights with reading books, web sites, articles, and anything I could put my hands on regarding Autism/Aspergers. I needed that information to have a basic understanding of it. Through the years I have come to understand that the most important thing to study and understand was right in front of me. Greyson was the best way to learn. Mainly because if I was a student to him, who he was and how he ticked, then all the rest would fall into place. Especially since the Autistic spectrum is soooooo broad. Greyson fits all the general characteristic of Aspergers, yet, then again, he is so different. He seems so atypical at times and so extravagant at others. He is just Greyson and we would have him no other way. He recently turned 10 and is showing alot of I am 10 and I know everything behaviors. Mr Sassy pants some days then so gentle and kind hearted the next. He has always been very sensitive and tender hearted. One of his classmates lost his mother to cancer recently and he insisted on going to the funeral. I wasn't sure it was such a good idea but he was fine. He internalizes so much and his feelings run so deep that he can really worry us. I have never seen such a young person have such intense feelings as he can have from just hearing about a death, or listening closely to the words of a song. He seems to spiral into a place almost untouchable at times and it scares me. To be so young yet so deeply in thought. He had alot of questions and was worried for his friend but he handled himself well.
Today we went finally and got a Christmas tree. We weren't sure we were going to be able to get one so we managed to find a "Charlie Brown Special". Greyson had been hounding us to get the house decorated. I was close to putting lights on the damn vacuum cleaner and calling it a day. hahahahahaaa Can't you hear us now..."Oh hoover tree, oh hoover tree, why has thou lost thy suction? Your big long hoses...reaching out. To find the crumbs that lie about...oh hoover tree oh hoover tree..." Blah blah blah...you get the picture! (Sense of humor still intact!) so...We now have our tree and it's only fitting that while we were decorating it Greyson said, "It doesn't matter if our tree is small. What matters most at Christmas is our family." Enough said big man...enough said! Hears to you all extended family and a cast of most wonderful and supportive friends! We heart all of you!

On a side note, we actually saw the batmobile on our way home. Definitely a sign from those on high.

Mister Sassy Frass

2010-11-25T21:32:00.002-05:00

Greyson has been mister "Sassy Frass" here lately. He is full of himself and feeling his oates and pushing limits. Some of it is just developmentally where he is and some of it is exacerbated by his Aspergers. It makes for a fun time I tell you. His temper is about as short as I have ever seen it and it is starting to make Michele and I crazy in the head. He is in a place where he is wanting to be a big boy, yet he is also still alot clingy so he is teetering back & forth from big boy to mamma's boy. He is quick to fly back with smart answers or just yell about something. we have been talking to him about it but it's obvious that he is where he is right now. It's hard for him to figure out what to do with his frustrations and emotions. He doesn't recognize them normally until it is too late and he has blown his top. We are discussing appropriate behaviors for when he is angry/frustrated but he isn't always aware of it in time. I am thinking some cognitive behavior therapy may be in order...We shall see. Needless to say we love the stew out of him but he is feeling big in his britches for sure. I am also thinking of finally talking with him about dietary changes too. I have always felt that the GF/CF diet or possibly the Feingold diet would be beneficial as well. He definitely has issues with his gut and allergies so I know either of those diets would be effective. I just need to talk with him and feel him out, along with doing more research about the two diets. I will figure it out soon enough. For now we need to lay down some solid boundaries. His pushing the limits cannot become too crazy. For the time being we are enjoying Thanksgiving at the beach with grandma. Once we return home we will find our way, we always do. Until then we will look for a little bit of peace here by the ocean. Walking on the shore and listening to the waves does wonders for the soul. We are Love x's 3 and we all are looking to replenish our souls. Hugs to all of our friends/extended family. We are thankful and grateful for each of you.

Happy Birthday Greyson...10 years!!!

2010-11-22T21:11:00.000-05:00

It's fall....a time of change. Another season in another year in the life cycle of all things. In this time of change I see many changes in our son. Not just the obvious physical changes but changes that occur much deeper than that. He is coming of an age where he is much more independent, yet still in need of not getting too far from his mom. He shows some rebellion at times, goes off on his own more to take care of himself, but never strays too far. Greyson is definitely becoming a young man. It pains me in some ways but I am proud of him and who is is becoming. He isn't our baby anymore. Then again, he always will be. What a guy! This post is in honor of him and his 10th birthday.

Greyson turned 10 years old Saturday, November 20th so we played some in the park. We didn't have a big party as things are a little tighter these days. Even though we didn't whoop it up big we still had a blast playing together, eating some cake, and opening a few gifts. He had a good time I think so that is all that matters. These last 10 years have flown by for us. It seems like just yesterday that he was born. A bit cliche' but it is the truth. He still never ceases to amaze us and to crack us up on a regular basis. These days he seems more self aware than ever. I am glad of that but also worry that he may start being to hard on himself. He was really cute the other day on the way home from school. We got to talking about how people have different strengths and weaknesses. He has been getting frustrated that he isn't that good at sports when it is time for P.E. and stuff. He also had an episode at school where he got upset because the kids had moved the tables around and they did not put the table back exactly where it had been. As we talked int he car I explained how he just has a really good eye for details, like where the table usually stays, a great sense of smell, great hearing, and a wonderful memory. I explained those were some of his strengths. He has that while other kids may be great athletes and run well, or play sports well. He is slightly weaker in those areas and they may be weaker in the areas of saving an eye for details and such. I said that kids like him tend to have strengths in playing video games, working with computers, memory, drama, music and the arts. those things make him special. He said, "so you and momom really do think I am special?" and I said, "Of course we do! Did you not think we meant it when we have said that before?" He tells me, "I just thought you told me that because that is what parents say to their kids." I told him, "No sir! We have always thought you were extra special and we meant it when we told you that." What a silly boy I have. I am glad I could clear that up for him though. I would never want him walking around thinking we were just saying it because everyone else did. Lord... He is one in a million in our eyes. A handful yes...but one in a million no less! hahahahaaaa Happy Birthday Gman. You really are special to us and to the world.

Huge Accomplishment for Greyson

2010-10-24T19:07:00.000-04:00

Greyson has been taking karate for several years now at MATI in Huntersville. He has been going twice a week for most of that time and has worked very hard at advancing through the belts. He started as a white belt and moved through all of the colors until this past April he made it to Red Stripe, the last belt before black. Once he made red stripe he had to spend the next 6 months preparing for his black belt test. For the last 5 weeks every Sunday from 2-4 was spent doing extra training to prepare him even further for what he would face on his test. He had a partner and mentor who was a black belt already and she helped him during this time. Each red stripe had someone to help them along in there quest for black belt. I was so very worried that he may not be able to have the proper coordination to pull it off. He knew all he needed to know, but it didn't necessarily look pretty. Michele and I both were worried too because he seemed to be burnt out on karate too. He has wanted so badly to quit the past 4 months but we would not allow it. I didn't want to push too much but I didn't want him to think he could just quit easily either. So.....we forced him to at least go until he achieved black belt. this past Saturday morning, October 23rd, 2010 @ 10 am he did just that. He, along with 5 other classmates successfully passed their black belt exams. we could not be prouder of him. He not only passed his test, but he did it while feeling bad. He has a terrible cold and possibly an ear infection yet he managed to pull it off. What a guy. He never ceases to amaze me in the things he can accomplish. He is always protesting going somewhere or doing something and acting like he is totally uninterested, then he will freak us out later by showing that he was absorbing or interested the whole time. He wanders around in circles and looks like he could care less but is taking in everything. I don;t get it but that is how he works. He does the same thing at school. It has always driven me somewhat mad but I am trying to realize it is his way of coping in new or fearful situations. You see, he is a perfectionist so new things pose a threat to him. That's where the fear comes from. So...anyway...I digress. He received the amazing achievement of black belt. We will allow him about 5 months off and then as spring approaches we will continue again, hoping he will want to do some of the new things that he will be allowed to try now. Flips, rolls, weapons and so on. I am hoping that the new challenges will spark an interest again. Next October he will go back to the karate award ceremony to receive his certificate form the Shorinji Kempo Karate Association. Way to go Greyson. You are unbelievable. Thank you for being such a blessing to us and teaching us to be the best parents we can be each and every day.

Halloween approaches...much to my dismay

2010-10-16T15:34:00.002-04:00

Last Halloween picking a pumpkin at the Corn Maize...Pumpkin Carving=fun Corn Maize=near meltdown for Greyson (see the love on momom's face?) hahahaaaaaa
So....that being said...
Halloween is a horrible time for Greyson. As it is for most children with Autism. The whole damn thing is a sensory overload full of scary scary things in their eyes. He nearly took out a lady in Target running away from the Halloween display with his hand over his face trying to escape the horrors there. Poor guy. Even his favorite TV channels focus on the event and he inevitably get s the crap scared out of him right before bedtime. This results in him having a panic attack and needing the TV on (on NICK Jr.) late into the night. He becomes inconsolable and is totally freaking out once he has seen or heard something "scary". Zombies, skeletons, werewolves, devils, etc...are not his friends. Fake or not...And he loathes spiders which everyone seems to think are a good idea to hang on their homes this time of year...great big ones that cover the entire front porch! Our lives become a living hell in October. To top it off, Michele loves Halloween. She wants to trick or treat with Greyson, mostly for his candy, and go look at all the scary stuff. He on the other hand will tell you. "Can't we just skip on to thanksgiving and eat some turkey legs!" hahahahaaaaa this is the first year he has spoken up and said, "NO trick or treating!" :( poor momom... I will have to buy them bags of candy to eat to make up for it. So....we plug along. No scary stories, no scary house decorations, no scary trick or treating...No sir reeeeee! I would go to a carnival in the day time...but people still dress scary there. If I could just convince all of Charlotte to dress in Star Wars attire and keep the houses decorated like Tattoine, Degoba or Mustafar we would be golden. We all know that ain't happening. haahahaaaaaaa "Go trick or treating...we will not" as Yoda would say. Come on November...it's Greyson's birthday, turkey leg time and the ghouls will be gone. (Until next year anyway.) Yay!

Mommy is struggling

2010-10-10T21:10:00.000-04:00

Well here it is October and I can't seem to keep up with my postings on here. I like keeping updates of how things are going etc...and I find the days turning into weeks, months and so on. Where does the time go? Right now things seem to be going well for Greyson. At school he is doing well, at home, OT, play therapy, everywhere really. I find myself worrying though. He has been taking karate for approximatley 2years and he has finally reached the big one. He tests for his black belt on October 23rd. he has been working very hard for the past 2 years and now it is down to the wire. He is burnt out on karate and wants to quit. We will allow that but first he must try for his black belt. He has come to far to throw in the towel now. Karate has been a blessing for his self esteem, focus, self control amoung other things. He has accomplished so much and I want to see him succeed. I worry though because I know his overall coordination isn't the best. This test will be tough. He has spent 2 hours every Sunday for the past 5 Sundays preparing for it. This coming Sunday will be his pre-test. If he can't pass that he will not be allowed to go to the big test. His instructor has given him compliments saying he had worred the most about him and has been very proud of him. He said he has done the best at learning and remembering all of his 10 formal techniques. It makes me proud but I do not want him to fail. I worry about it and think about it. It makes me want to cry. I know he can do it. Either way we will love and support him but I so want to see him cross this next hurdle. I am going to cry either way, belt or not. He has accomplished a great deal and has come so far. I couldn't be prouder of him if I tried. We truly have been blessed to have him in our lives and I cherish the moments we have. I love you Greyson. You are a black belt in my eyes already sweet boy!

Catching up on our world...

2010-10-03T15:37:00.000-04:00

Greyson has been working really hard lately at school and at karate. His black belt test is coming up so he has spent the past several weeks on Sundays at his karate dojo preparing to take his exam. He spends two hours every Sunday working on his techniques, kicks, blocks, punches, strikes and his kata. He has alot of stuff to remember to be able to qualify to test. It has been more nerve racking for me than for him I believe. I know he knows this stuff but his coordination isn't as great as most kids his age and that is where my worry comes in. He so badly wants to get his black belt so he can quit for a while and we agreed to that. He is very focused and trying his best so that is all I care about. Whatever happens will happen. Part of me does worry though and fret that his coordination may limit his ability to do what needs to be done. We shall see. It will break his heart if he isn't able to pass this. He has worked so very hard. To be honest, my heart will be broken too. He deserves it and I hope he can pull it off. I have confidence that he can if his nerves don't get the best of him. He has a great older girl as his mentor and black belt coach/partner. She plays a part in his performance of the 10 formal techniques and she has been a blessing to us. Thank you Mary Stewart for being such a light and positive force for Greyson in his quest for the black belt. At school his teacher has been wonderful and he is in great hands. We have alot of homework but we do what we can without causing him a complete breakdown. He has made a good friend who also loves Star Wars. They have had some play dates and done very well together. He still misses his pal that left for home schooling but he has done great in adjusting. At OT he has been doing a phenomenal job with Ms Mary Alice his OT. She continues to brag on his growth socially and physically. We couldn't be prouder of him and his accomplishments these past few years. He continues to prove to us he is an awesome guy capable of almost anything when he puts his mind to it. Hooray for Greyson. You can do it son...we believe in you!

Catching up...

2010-09-13T13:48:00.000-04:00

Greyson has been doing great in school, OT and in karate. His teacher really seems to get him and that is great for us. since we last posted we have done alot of fun things. We took Greyson to his first concert to see KISS. We were ready with his shooters ear muffs just in case things got too crazy loud for him. He did really well staying for several opening bands and then for at least 10 songs once KISS came on stage. We left before it was over but he did pretty well. Of course we were on the lawn outside so that helped. Inside somewhere would have been out of the question. After that we took our camping trip that we do on Labor Day each year to River Creek Campground. we have alot of other girlfriends with children and they all gather there for a great time. Several of our CCS parents went with this year as well for the fun. He had a great time playing with his buddies, swimming int he broad river, playing Star Wars, making s'mores by the campfire, and just hanging out. We stayed until Monday and then headed back home. He had a shortened week at school last week and ended the week with a visit from grandma on her birthday. She came to the school to eat lunch with him on grandparent's day which also happened to be her birthday. They had a blast and he had made a special card for her and picked a necklace for her as well that he gave her before she returned home to Monroe. It was a great week. this weekend he and I hung out while momom went for a visit to Ohio. He had Karate Black Belt practice on Sunday for 2 hours and was a trooper. he has been trying his best so that he can get his black belt in October. He tests then for it and it is going to be really hard. I am hoping he will continue to work hard so that he can get it and be done for a while. That is his goal. He has come to far to quit now so we are pushing him to get this done. It's hard but he can do it if he puts his mind to it. He has a partner to help him through it who is a black belt already. She is an older girl and I think she will be a great asset to him in his training for his test. Throw up a prayer everyone and keep your fingers crossed for him. For now he is doing well. Trying to get back into the school routine of homework, which he loathes, and just doing what he has to do to succeed. He has come so very far and we are so very proud of his accomplishments thus far. His struggles become less and less. He is an amazing guy who tends to beat himself up way to much when he makes a mistake. I just hope he can see just how amazing he really is and trust in that. We wouldn't trade him for a thing. What a great boy! Here's to you sweet boy, for all you have done and for all you will do. You rock!

Week One of School Recap

2010-08-22T12:11:00.000-04:00

Greyson finished his first week at school and he did really well. The only day he had any trouble was Thursday. it was mainly due to some horrendous thunder storms we had Wednesday night. He is really afraid of them and worries alot about the safety of us when it is lightening and thundering badly out. Of course the news stories of flash flooding and lightening strikes helps none. He takes head when they say, "Don't go out unless you absolutely have to." He felt as though we should skip school that next day. We had OT so we headed up to Mooresville to his occupational therapy facility. It poured buckets on the way making him very nervous. We got there and to top things off, his therapist wasn't going to see him. he was with another nice girl and they were dong his yearly eval. all of those changes paired with the weather from hell caused him to have a melt down once OT was over with. He cried all the way back to school begging to go home instead of going to school. I knew we had to go and that he had to reel himself in. Those are the moments where you cannot give in to his fears. Don't get me wrong, there are moments when I must give in and help him regroup, but only if he has crossed point of no return. I have to allow him the power & confidence to do it himself whenever possible. He went to school, his teacher sat with him for a while to calm him about the weather situation and he finished the day out just fine. His first week was a great success and I hope the others will follow suit. We take it one day at a time. As it should be. We are very proud of his progress. Hooray for a great week and many more to follow.

First Day of 4th Grade

2010-08-16T19:17:00.000-04:00

Well, Greyson had his first day of 4th grade today. It seemed to go over without a hitch. I think he likes his new teacher and his class. It is always interesting to see how things are going to go for him at school, especially in a new class. He was really paying close attention when I went to check on him. His teacher said he had been fine all day. Wow! I was elated. I was there from 8-12ish and he didn't once run down for me. I will keep my fingers crossed that things run smoothly for him in there all year. That would be great since he will have his teacher until he graduates from Community charter. He will be in there for his 4th & 5th grade years. Then it is off to a new adventure. I asked him how his day went and he said,"Good." That's Greyson, never lets much out of the bag. We rode home after that in silence while he read his comic book. i am fine with that to some degree. I would love to know more about his day, but once I see he is not distraught about things I am good. If he is at peace, then so am I. I let him have his 30 minutes of silence and I reflected on my day. I felt a little numb. We have 27 children in our class of kindergarten & first graders. That makes for a most interesting day. Chatty ones, crying ones, some with little tiny attitudes, cute ones, smiley ones, and a few that duck tape couldn't fix but that's life huh? I myself left not knowing if I was coming, going or fixing to pass out. The newness not only overwhelms them, but Ms Lynn too! Whew...we shall how the week pans out for me and for Greyson. I may be the one walking in circles and laying on the couch before it is over with. As for now, things are great for my man and that makes Michele and I extremely happy. I will roll with it. You go Greyson. We love you tons.

Thursday night and the weekend is approaching quickly

2010-08-12T23:19:00.006-04:00

Well...swimming did not happen today. Greyson was having a day of I don't want to...poor me. He must be sensing that school is nearing fast. School is not his comfort zone, nor is it his cup of tea. Don't get me wrong, he is smart but he does not like all the craziness that school brings. it is truly a nightmare for Aspergers/Autistic kids. Just too much "stuff" going on. I watched him walk in circles alot in his class last year. It seemed like after Christmas before he started to settle down some. He walks and walks...round and round. Usually ending up on the sofa if the class has one. We shall see this year. Tomorrow he will head over to the school with me for kindergarten orientation. I am sure he would rather run off somewhere but he will manage. DS and toys in hand. He may get lucky enough to go with Ms Jen to Imaginon while I finish out my last day before school officially starts. I so wanted to take him swimming today so I will try again tomorrow once I am done at 12. That gives us plenty of time to play together if I can twist his arm. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I love to swim and he does too. it offers a sense of peace for him I have noticed. If that boy could breath under water he would stay forever...so peaceful and quiet. All the things he loves. Funny though, he is loud like me. You would never know he can't stand loud noises, especially sudden ones. The loud boy who couldn't stand noise...hahahaaaaa that's it though. Loud and noise can be totally different I guess. We got him a great pair of ear muffs like shooters where so that helps in places like the movies, swim meets, & concerts...anywhere that might be loud. (Not that we frequent such places but hey...better safe than sorry) Well...Greyson just ran in here in a panic. He cannot sleep without both of us on either side. He yelled at me and said, "Get in here! I need you! Momom is falling asleep and your not in here yet!" Lord...one day Michele and I will enjoy our bed together again...for now, it's attachment parenting at its best! I hear Presby can surgically remove just about anything....How about a 9 year old boy form my hip? Hugs to all...goodnight

End of Summer Fun...

2010-08-12T14:17:00.006-04:00

Here we are at the very end of our summer vacation. We spent last week in Ohio watching Greyson's cousin show her hog and steer she raised for 4H Club. She showed them at the Columbiana County Fair and won alot of awards. It was amazing to see even though it is normally not my cup of tea if you will. Greyson did well. We were worried he may have a huge sensory overload but he managed since he was able to play with his cousins away form the "stink". Pigs DO NOT smell very good let me tell you. We stayed for about 5 days which is a long time for G man. I could tell he was starting to need his home space even though he claimed he was mad and wanted to stay 2 more days. We normally keep our visits to 3 or 4 days for everyone's sanity. Greyson did OK and we made it home safely. Now we have been preparing ourselves for the start of school. He will be in 4th grade in Ms Ainsworth's class. Hopefully he will do well with her. She is used to kids like Greyson so she at least has an idea already of the behaviors that may arise. We haven't been swimming in quite a while so I am going to try and take him today. He needs to go for several reasons. He has been a little scared to go because he was scared of one of his friends. I reassured him that he need not be afraid so I think things will be fine now. He needs the exercise too so off we will go. To be continued...

Summer 2010 continued...

2010-07-25T10:19:00.002-04:00

As you all know, we have been having soooo much fun this summer. Greyson and I swim alot at the pool but we have also done other stuff as well. Some days are just "stay at home" days and he plays LEGO'S, watches TV and just chills in his room. On Friday we got to go play with Ms Suzy and a group of kids at her house. Greyson was very excited. They made cupcakes, decorated them themselves, and then jumped on the trampoline with the hose on to relieve this unbelievable heat. I stayed and hung out too and it was so much fun. We love Ms Suzy. She was his second grade teacher and was a blessing for him. After we got done at Ms Suzy's house we headed straight to the swim club to swim a while with his newly found buddy Samuel. Greyson has had a time making new friends at the pool. He was doing his usual "stalking" of some older boys there, following them everywhere, yet never talking. He just listens to, and laughs at, everything they say following along trying desperately to fit in. He hasn't the social skills to do this effectively and it can be painful to watch. I see that they are thinking he is different and somewhat strange but he is clueless to their observations and reactions to him. I no longer allow him to follow along because of this. If he can;t protect himself...then damn it, I will. He met Samuel thank goodness who can at times also be a target for the cruelties of children and so they have been playing at the pool. So....we played at the pool with his buddy Samuel until 5pm. After that we headed home to change and then back out to Sonic for "Silly band night". We met Samuel and his family there and he had a blast there trading silly bands and eating his cheese burger. He was sooooo tired that day. He was pitiful once we got home and crashed immediately. Thank goodness too. Michele had to go out of town and had he not been sooooo tired he would have been balling that he missed her. He wasn't even able to be upset he fell asleep so fast. Saturday we went to a friends birthday party and had fun in their pool. We were there all day playing, eating, and playing some more. Greyson was doing great with the other kids until the end of the night. Things got a little too rough and some of the other kids got carried away. They were playing some animal game and Greyson ended up getting whacked with some plastic swords . He ran to me balling. He had been hit pretty hard because he had a welt on his arm so needless to say, several of the kids got a stern talking to from their moms. Poor guy. He was sooooo upset so we went ahead and left. Overall it was a great time and a great day. I think the main thing that I keep realizing in all of this is that no matter what, kids are going to see him as different. They may or may not realize it but he always is outside the group to some degree. Kids instinctively know this with any child who doesn't fall into that "norm". We always have to watch a little more closely to ensure things aren't turning ugly when he is with a group. Not that they intentionally do that necessarily but it does happen whether intentionally or not and things at that point can go south quickly. Worse is the feeling that it will only become more and more complicated as he gets older. He has to learn to protect himself, and we can't keep him in a bubble, but we do need to monitor situations and him closely. There is a fine line there for sure. His independence and being able to handle situations himself with us remaining just far enough away to help if need be. It continues to add to my craziness. Teaching him life skills and independence comes in slow steps. We move forward some and back some in hopes of moving forward more times than back. As summer winds down we keep stepping. Stepping until we reach 4th grade. I dread it to some degree because school is such an adjustment for him. New teacher, new room, new friends with some old mixed in, and so on. It can take up until Christmas for him to adjust and get into a comfort zone. the good news is he should have the same teacher for both 4th & 5th grades making life and transition into 5th grade hopefully easier. He has excelled so this summer. I think having NO school is such a relief for him and he is in such a better place during that time of year. For now...we will cherish the summer and what it holds for him and take school one day at a time once it comes. Summer, friend of Greyson,...please don't go soooo soon!

Last few days...Mid July

2010-07-14T21:10:00.003-04:00

Greyson has been obsessed with treasures, archaeology & temples like this one pictured in Angkor Cambodia. He wants to be an archaeologist and the other day he read all about this particular temple online. He insisted that I find some temples for him to read about and this was the first one that came up. It really freaked me out that he was so interested in it. Then he wanted me to show him where Cambodia was on the map. Good lord. He is 9 years old and planning his first expedition. Complete with planes, treasures, booby traps and all. No spiders though...absolutely NO spiders! (Eight legged freaks!) Enough about that though...on with the rest of the story...
Greyson and momom and I received an invitation to go play at the lake this past Sunday. For those of you who don't know it, Michele is not a fan of water, boats, or anything to do with the two together and that's putting it lightly. She agreed we could go and take Greyson and I was floored. She is loosing up the grip some on the water thing now that he is proving he is a pretty good swimmer. So....off we went to Lake Norman. Our friends were very kind and patient with Greyson, and Michele... :) It turned out the tub wouldn't hold two people so G man was gonna have to go it alone on the lake if he rode at all. I have to admit that even made me a little nervous since his safety senses aren't always the best. We went over basic boat safety before getting there and told him some thing s he should be aware of so he was at least somewhat prepared. He got on the tub at first with Ms Trish but it just wasn't working with two people...so...it was decided he would ride alone and he agreed. That in itself was huge. He is branching out these days away from the womb. It usually happens in moments when I least expect it too. Our driver of the boat did a great job keeping him safe but making sure he had fun. He wiped out the first time after a very long ride and got a little choked but he was fine. Mostly just pissed off. He didn't take long getting over it and was pestering the tar out of us to ride again. We took a rest and played in a cove for a while swimming and then just before coming in gave him one last ride. He was quite the dare devil trying to get Deedee to turn him in circles and go faster...and faster...little dickens! Sometimes even riding with his hands behind his head while I motioned frantically for him to hang on! hahahahaaaaa It was a great time. Michele and I had a few loving glances at each other sitting on the back of that boat in between watching him so closely. The glances that said without words, "Our little boy is growing up fast." He is definitely becoming more and more confident as time goes by. Finding his way, testing the waters of what he can do, and building the confidence he needs to succeed in life. His come a little slower at times, but it comes. And when it does it is a wonderful feeling for us to know he has taken another step. He has been doing great at karate and will test in October for his black belt. Once he has done that we will let him take a brake from it for a while. He has been swimming better and better and is now taking lessons to improve his strokes. He is a really good and strong swimmer and I am going to try and encourage his joining the swim team next year. He told me no today due to him needing time to learn about archeology and build more LEGOS. He is serious and has decided he is going to be an archaeologist. Giving Michele serious heartburn. She prefers doctor, lawyer, etc...some money making field. I think she worries we will need him to be taking care of us. hahahahaaaaa I took him today to the book store and he chose a book about treasure, and another about rocks and minerals. i told Michele I need to research the colleges that specialize in archeology just in case. We need to know who will be taking all of our money soon. :) So...that being said, I will continue to lobby for swim team as I swam when I was younger and loved it. He will continue learning how to be an archaeologist and building LEGO temples. But hopefully we can find a way for both of those world to mesh so he can swim too and have a great time. He is the best...and personally I hope he is an archaeologist one day. I think he would be a damn good one. Goodnight all. Thanks for sharing in our little piece of this enormous world.

Ocracoke Trip 2010

2010-07-06T10:52:00.003-04:00

Michele, Greyson and I went to Ocracoke Island, NC thanks to our good friend and had a wonderful time. We arrived last Saturday and stayed a week. We quickly rented a tandem and a single bicycle as that is the best way to get around there and began exploring the island. Greyson got to ride on the back with momom while I pedaled behind them on my bike. We saw Springer's trail where Blackbeard and his pirates once stomped, the beautiful harbor, the ferry, Pamlico Sound, the village of shops and restaurants and last but not least the beaches. Greyson did great with all that exercises since normally he spends most of the day chillin inside. We rode all over and I took over 500 pictures. Thank goodness for the digital age. Greyson had some issues since he didn't have all of the luxuries he is used to. (Tons of satellite channels, hahahahaaaaa) But he handled it pretty well...complaining minimally. It is trying at times just how he has to go back to his comfort zone. We would be at the beach and he would suddenly want to go back to the house. I know he needs his routine and we have to roll with that, but sometimes we both wanted to scream. Somehow we always manage to maintain and things turn out fine. Thank goodness. we got to spend about 3 days at the beach. The ocean was a little rough for him due to the wind there, but he had a great time in the shallows. I dug our big hole in the sand, as usual, and we made a huge sand castle. That's our ritual at the beach each time we go. He and I dig a hole and build a huge castle that he usually tears down if the tide doesn't get it first. :) It really was fun. He did go out to jump waves with momom only to wipe out and snort up a wave. He was NOT happy and we almost lost him for the day on that one. He recovered well and continued to play once he had time to calm down. We ate out at some wonderful places. One night he refused to take off his bike helmet. It's a big red one and he wore it proudly to the restaurant and wore it during the entire meal. Michele and I just laughed. No need to get uptight about things like that. People may stare but whatever...they are clueless. We kinda love that about him and he keeps us grounded for sure. He has also been known to sport his googles at the spray grounds as well. It's just a giant fountain at the park that they have for the kids to play in...he never goes in unprotected. Who knows...he may wear his bike helmet in there next week. He played Lego's alot while we were there and cracked us up one night in particular. He threw his Lego plane across the room complete with Indiana Jones in it and screamed (like he was the little Lego Indiana)..."Oh no! I think I ruptured by toxix!" hahaaaaa He has said this before and it cracks us up every time. This kid is a trip to say the least. Then again...most kids are. We are back and he was so relieved to see his kitty cats and dogs. I think he definitely loves coming home again to his calm familiar space with his things. Hooray for familiar and our little place in the world. Enjoy the pics from Ocracoke! Hugs...

Time for us...

2010-06-27T09:09:00.004-04:00

Greyson, Michele and I are in the Outer banks at Ocracoke Island. (Thank you special friend-you know who you are. smiles & Hugs) We have only been here one day and it is wonderful. Beautiful views, laid back atmosphere...just lovin' it. We hung out in the harbor area last night, getting dinner, watching the sunset, and taking pictures. Greyson had a moment at the restaurant we chose due to it being right beside the docks and seafood market. Yes...you could smell fish and he was freaking. hahahahaaaa It really wasn't that bad but for him it is. We found a spot by a huge fan so he was fine after that. We ate and then took in the sites while the sun was setting. It was so beautiful with the sail boats, kayakers, water, docks and pink, orange & yellow skies. We had to take a ferry over to the island and I thought Michele was gonna have a heart attack. We chose the 40 minute ride over the 2.5 hour one from Cedar Island. She would have never made that without a panic attack and Greyson and I would probably have been right behind her. hahahahaaaa I have a history with water, beaches...and panic attacks. I used to have reoccurring dreams about tidal waves and so every now and again my mind gets the best of me. When I say re-occurring, we are talking hundreds of times in my childhood. Always pretty much the same and pretty darn freaky. But I shall think about something different right now since I am on an Island where you can pretty much see water on both sides easily. Greyson is having fun, we will be heading to the beach...the one with a lifeguard...and having some fun today. Digging in the sand, making castles and riding waves. For now we will walk around and see some more sites on this cute and beautiful Island. Hugs...we will be checking in later with updates.

So very proud...as always!

2010-06-24T06:38:00.006-04:00

This is Greyson with his buddy "A" from karate class. They will test together in October for black belts if all goes well.
Greyson has been on a kick lately of claiming he doesn't like karate anymore and complains and/or lobbies to skip his bi-weekly session all the way there. Once there he always does a great job and I can tell he usually has a very good time doing it. So I have grown accustomed to ignoring his rants about why he wishes he didn't have to go. (Being the bad mommy I am and all-hahahaaaaa) Last night he had karate again. He is preparing for his black belt test in October so we are adamant that he stick with a pretty regular schedule there right now so he gets a good review of what he needs to know. Sparring in red man gear for protection is one of the things he has to do and know. Sparring happens at the end of each class for 15 minutes and again he lobbies to opt out. In sparring they either pair off in groups while his master watches and practice sparring, or they pair off just two at a time, while the rest sit and wait their turn, and do an actual sparring match. In the sparring match points are awarded. 1 point for each accurate hit to the opponent (targets are head, chest, sides) They can use one tap to the head for a point, a double punch to the chest, or a kick to the sides or chest. Greyson was up first and won his match. He then faced the next opponent, then the next and the next and the next. He went through the entire class until he was down to the last little boy. This little boy is literally half Greyson's size and I was curious to see what he would do. He has already had problems with not liking to hit his friends/classmates so his master had to talk with him about it letting him know that in this case it's OK. All the students are protected and in a controlled situation and he wants them to do that. That being said, here stood this tiny little boy against Greyson who looked even bigger than normal. Needless to say Greyson won that match too, but his master praised him for being so gentle, and giving his hits very lightly. Greyson said I tried to hit very lightly on purpose. His master was very proud of his self control, his technique, and his overall performance. He won every match (about 7 of them) straight...the whole class! It was awesome to see his confidence level grow with each match he took. He was proud, but not arrogant about it which was huge. He obviously had thought it through and decided to spar a particular way using the same technique each time. It worked! Come to find out...it's the same technique master Hartsell uses. Funny thing though...he has never shown them that to my knowledge. Greyson is a master at observing, figuring things out, and then using whatever knowledge he gained once he is confident to do so. He never ceases to amaze me doing this. It happens constantly at school and it, as I have said before, is maddening. His way of seeming to be off in the distance somewhere, yet listening and focused in on everything around him. Sometimes it backfires as Michele and I have a heck of a time finding a place to talk without him zeroing in on our conversations. Ol' bionic ears is always listening...always! As he said himself to us once before, "Mommy Lynn my ears are so good, I just heard a fly break wind in Africa!" hahahahaaaaaa That boy ain't right...he just ain't right.

Observations of "B"...

2010-06-22T07:28:00.004-04:00

While Greyson swims at the pool I usually watch him closely. Not that he can't swim, he can, I just watch him as he interacts with others. Then again maybe "interacts" is pushing it. I will give him credit. He will at least get around the crowd of kids playing and stay in close proximity. More like a stalker. I say this in jest. Its sad to see him and be able to see that he really wants to join in but doesn't ever ask or talk to them. He just tends to laugh hysterically at anything and everything they say, and follows them any and everywhere they go, watching them from the outskirts. I realize more and more how hard social interactions are for these kids. He is doing quite well but still struggles. He has no clue when they aren't being friendly or when they are being mean, making fun, etc...unless it is painfully obvious. Let me add painfully obvious to you or me is not something that would be painfully obvious to him. For him to clue in it has to be "really" obvious if you know what I mean. He does know two other boys at the pool, so that helps, but he is "the new guy". That adds a level of toughness to fitting in. The crowd of boys are all very athletic and I can tell they have realized right away he is not like them. So I sit and watch, letting him have some rope and freedom to try to learn life and survival skills, but not letting him get too far. We can't allow him to be totally thrown to the wolves without the same defenses and skills that come naturally to most. It's not always easy to watch. To see the longing on his face to go and play. To be invited into the game without mommy having to ask for him. I see it all over his face. I have tried to discuss with him some boundaries of what is OK and what isn't OK to allow someone to say or do to you. His response is pretty much always the same. "Can we not talk about this." We have to find a way to ensure he understands boundaries for himself and others so he doesn't get hurt by anyone and so he doesn't hurt anyone either. That would apply physically and emotionally and it is crucial to him surviving in life. We love him so much just as he is, and couldn't be happier that his autism is so mild. Unfortunately that in itself can be the biggest nightmare at times. Looking so perfectly normal yet acting, at times, so strangely. Well...this summer has definitely allowed me the time to really observe him around friends more closely to get better insight into how to teach him these things. I am so thankful for that and for just the time itself to be with him, swimming and having fun. Thank you summer! Until next post...bring on the sun and water!

Summer time 2010...

2010-06-20T10:21:00.004-04:00

Getting into summer...laid back & peaceful

2010-06-20T09:49:00.007-04:00

Greyson and I have been having a great time already this summer. We made a trip to the beach to visit grandma for a long weekend, and since then, have been swimming at the Oakdale Pool almost daily. At the beach we dug our normal giant hole in the sand and built a castle that surrounded it. We played in the waves on his boogie board, tried to catch little fish playing in the surf, met some friends for him to hang out with and just plain had a great time. At the pool he has had a great time too. Making friends, playing 4 square, swimming non-stop and having a grand time. I believe swimming offers him a peace that he can find no where else in his life. Underwater is solitude, quiet, peaceful nothingness that he loves. If he could breath under there I would probably never see him again. He only comes up long enough to take in air and back under he goes. Twisting and twirling in the water, flipping frontwards and then back again. he loves it and so do I. I watch him constantly while we are there. How he interacts or lack there of. How he enjoys being in "Greyson land" even though no one else is there necessarily. How he longs to join in with the others at times but obviously lacks the social awareness and skills to do it gracefully. I sometimes intervene, other times I let him figure it out. His growth is a wonderful thing to observe although i do see that as he gets older his challenges at times seem more obvious. Don't get me wrong though, he is doing great. He has grown and progressed in school and in life quite well. we are very proud of all he has accomplished in his 9 years here. He is only 4 months away from a black belt in karate. Wow! You go "G man". All that said our summer has been fantastic and we are continuing the roll. Lots of swimming daily for exercise because I made a vow to get him out and about and away form the TV, computer and his games. So far...I am doing great. Although in my later years I may have skin that looks like shoe leather...I am using sunscreen but am still getting sun and cooking on a regular basis. He is a little brownie too. With all that said, the other day I laid off the pool because we had overloaded and needed a break. My head was hurting and I decided to lay down on the couch before I took him to karate. I said, "Sweetie, wake mommy up at 2:30 OK?" He says, "OK." and goes back to playing wii. I feel into a deep sleep and all of the sudden I hear,"CUH CAW! CUH CAW!!!!!!!" right into my ear...Seriously...mouth to ear drum close! He decided that would be a great way to wake me up. I nearly had a heart attack! I jumped up flailing about screaming, "what's going on?" ...He then exclaimed, "It's 2:30 mommy Lynn...time to wake up...you told me to wake you up mommy Lynn." Good Lord...I have been awake ever since. Well not really...but you get the idea. hahahhaaaaa Never a dull moment with kids huh?

Great start to summer

2010-06-09T20:43:00.005-04:00

Flashback to Isle of Palms 2005...I love this picture of Greyson...peace at the beach, building castles and playing in the surf.
We have had a great start to summer. Everyday this week we have been visiting with friends at the splash park in Dilworth as well as going to the pool for the afternoon. Greyson is loving the start to summer and so are we. We will be at the beach by tomorrow lunch time just for the weekend and we are excited. Well except for the fact that momom is staying behind to work and keep our family floating along in this world. We love her for that but we sure will miss her being with us. Many pictures and texts will be flying her way via phone and facebook.
Greyson got to see his buddy U at the spray park the other day which was very exciting. U is home schooled and Greyson has missed him dearly. He loves him to death and gets soooo excited when we get a play date. We will have many more hopefully this summer. I myself am making a promise to Greyson, but he doesn't know it. I am promising to ensure he is outside as much as possible this summer vacation for his health, physical and mental well being. He is showing me that he would be happy to stay in the pool 24/7 if I will allow that. hahahaaaaa He loves being underwater and I think it is due to the peacefulness found there. SO....that being said...summertime here we come!

School's Out for Summer!

2010-06-04T14:58:00.002-04:00

Sand & Surf...LOOKOUT!
School is out now. Greyson has officially been released to go on to the 4th grade next year. He finished up today at 1pm and we headed home. What a great year it was, starting a little shaky as it always does, then ending on a great note. Greyson has been lucky to have had wonderful teachers to assist him along the way. He has come so far and we are very very proud of his accomplishments. I sat reading his work today feeling so proud of him. He is so funny and such a good story teller. I couldn't believe what he had done throughout the year. Enough of my bragging and being a sappy mommy though. We are glad his school year has come to an end and that his summer is quickly here. Yay for summertime, beach trips, ice cream, Popsicles, sprinklers, parks, friends, play dates, swimming pools, fireworks, spray grounds, theme parks, and just plain fun. Yay for us and great family memories! Summertime...here we come! Keep an eye out for us...we will be seeing you all, friends and family, soon! Hugs...

Fear of Spiders...

2010-06-03T20:03:00.003-04:00

How we deal with spiders for Greyson...although it isn't real good for the sheet rock.
For those who do not know it Greyson is deathly afraid of spiders. He recently has done a great job of managing his fear but still has it lingering in the background. The last week of school brought research reports due. Each child picked an animal to do his/her research on. Unfortunately one of his classmates chose spiders. Greyson was reportedly lingering around in the hall upstairs so I went to check on him not knowing about the spider report. He advised that his buddy had chosen spiders and that he had opted out of listening to an part of that so he was just hanging out in the office until the boy's turn was done. At least he wasn't freaking out and flailing about the school screaming. All of which have been done at some point in time before and in his repertoire of tricks. Instead he patiently awaited the whole ordeal to be over. I left him there since he seemed fine and went back to help with our class. He did not need me as no tears were being shed etc... Thank goodness! Tonight however he came running in from the trampoline screaming, panting and gasping for air. There had been a giant grandaddy long legs lurking on the trampoline awaiting Greyson's arrival. This triggered a story about his buddy, the spider report, and the nightmare it all creates for him. hahahaaaaaa Oh well. The spiders are haunting him...even from afar. Eight legged freaks!

Talent Show at CCS 2010 (Karate Kid)

2010-06-01T18:28:00.006-04:00

Greyson shown here with Master Hartsell at the dojo after recieving his red stripe belt. He takes Shorinji Kempo Karate at MATI in Huntersville NC.
Today was the talent show at CCS. Greyson decided he wanted to do the kata which is a synchronized group of karate moves used to demonstrate technique. He has to know it for his black belt test. He is now a red stripe belt so all he has left is to test for his black belt. I was a little worried that he might get scared or freeze up but he did it successfully. I have to admit I had tears in my eyes. Knowing his fears, and seeing him do it anyway is huge. He didn't want to wear his karate belt, and he wouldn't yell at the moments when he should have but he did all the moves he should have done. All the blocks, punches, etc... Unfortunately he is very hard on himself and according to his assessment his wasn't that good in comparison to the other children. I myself beg to differ. Don't get me wrong, the other children are talented and very special but him being up there in front of all his classmates, teachers and some parents takes alot for him. Therefore I thought his was performance was extra extra special and extraordinary to say the least. Yes...I have no shame...I am his mom, (one of them), and one of his biggest fans. Two proud mommies, it just doesn't get any better than that! School is winding down. Fun is being had by all and summer is just around the corner. Today I shed a small tear for who Greyson is and who he is becoming. A wonderful guy that's full of surprises. Hugs to all.

Fun at Freedom Park-May 2010

2010-05-23T14:44:00.016-04:00

3rd Grade coming to a close...

2010-05-23T13:52:00.012-04:00

Greyson's third grade year is coming to a close and needless to say time feels like it is flying by. School for him has always been a challenge and somewhat of a burden in his eyes. He is smart and does well but has always given up what he knows in his own sweet time. Therefore it can be a mystery as to how much is really getting in there. I worry but then again...I don't. He always comes through in the clutch. Once again he surprised us this year. This was the year for the start of the EOG's. We had already decided that more than likely he would not test to his capabilities. Well...thanks to a wonderful staff and EC team at his school he passed with flying colors. He worked so hard and we all were very proud of his accomplishment. He claims it was the peppermint he was given during the test which made me laugh. But heck...if he thinks the peppermint helped so be it. I myself could care less about this whole testing thing. But, the test requires it and it is an important measure for the state to ensure that our school is meeting the standards set forth. (:p) whatever...I think it is an inaccurate measure but then again, they do not care what I think. I'm just glad that a boy, that we think is phenomenal, showed just what he is capable of despite his challenges. He has been doing great lately, at school, at karate, and at home. He complains that he hates karate, yet when he gets there and gets going he does a great job. He also complains about school and yet once he is there he does fine. Because of this I just listen to his complaints, tell him I hear what he is saying but still enforce he has to do the job at hand. It all seems to work but it can be very tiring mentally and physically. Whew...boy....you wear us out! hahahaaaaaa We also got a new trampoline for him. He has been jumping regularly at night when he comes home. Michele and I go out there with him some and I have to tell you, that thing is gonna be the death of me. The other night I jumped with him until my heart felt like it was gonna pound out of my chest. I thought I was having a stroke. Every few minutes I have to rest and lay on the damn thing while he jumps around me. Sometimes he lays beside me saying..."My hearts not beeping at all mommy Lynn!" Thanks kid for reminding mommy just how out of shape she is and how you could jump for days without your heart rate even elevating any. I think it smart to keep the cell phone near by when jumping on that darn thing. Rampart we have a victim here...Caucasian female approximately 48 years of age, heart beeping out of control, eyes bugged out, dizzy, red faced, tongue hanging out, panting uncontrollably, asking for wine, mumbling something about playing popcorn...Ahhhhhhh yes, the fun one has on a trampoline! Well, summer is just around the corner. Two weeks left of school and we will be well on our way to a great summer vacation. I can't wait to spend it with Greyson & Momom. He never ceases to amaze me so I am sure the summer will be full of fun times and adventure.

Funny thing...

2010-05-04T20:22:00.003-04:00

This boy is special...not your average bear I tell you, and we love him dearly!

I have been sick lately and Greyson does not want any part of that. In his mind, for some reason, me being sick translates into "Mommy is about to die". I'm not sure why this is, but he has been worried to death. He screamed at me the other day to go to the doctor and I have to admit...he was right. I had waited too long to go and so I unfortunately had bronchitis as well as an ear infection. He went with me to ensure the doctor took good care of me. hahahaaaaa He also wanted to ensure that she did not give me any shots. He said so before we got there. Anyway, I do worry that he is so attached. God forbid anything serious ever happen to me because he would flip. I have been out of school for several days and i will return tomorrow. He has hovered over me and worried himself crazy so hopefully some return to a normal schedule will ease his mind...I hope. He did well at school and has been doing well for a while. I have been getting good reports from teachers regarding his math and even his spelling which was causing him some trouble for a while. So....I am so proud of him. he is truly capable of so much. it's just getting him interested and/or motivated to doing whatever the task at hand is. Sometimes that is very hard. Regardless, we plug along and work it out in one way or another. Another year of school is about to come to an end and I overall have to say it has been a successful one for him. It may start out as a struggle but he always seems to find a norm and comfort in his new space each year. Taking longer than most...but it happens and we are thankful. Hugs to you Greyson...here's to a great third grade year winding to a close!

Great weekend topped off by a visit to the dentist today.

2010-05-03T12:16:00.002-04:00

I have been gone too long. Busy working, taking care of things, etc.etc... this weekend we had a great time together hanging out. We decided to go to Davidson's Town Day where there were vendors, entertainment, rides and good food. Greyson was excited because we ran into our good friends there. They live in Davidson and Greyson went to school with their daughter in kindergarten and first grade. Wonderful people and Greyson so loves the daughter. she was always so sweet to him and he took to her right away. He seems to continue to hold a special place for her in his heart. It's really sweet. We hung out and ended up getting to see her perform with her acrobatics group. He loved it. You wouldn't really know that unless you were us though. It's not like he shows loads of enthusiasm...but we knew he was really excited. He ate some pepperoni pizza, his favorite, and some Italian ice, while we watched the teams show us their tricks. He was impressed watching them flip and roll and jump. Later we headed home so he and momom could get their hair cut. After that we just hung out at the house. It was a great day with alot of outdoor activities. He normally doesn't want any part of that so we relished in his wanting to be outside and play. Sunday we hung around the house and just took care of stuff there while he played some more with momom outside. He had a great weekend of outdoor time. Today we had a dentist appointment. He hates that but goes in there like a trooper. He did great until the fluoride being painted on his teeth. After that he is pissed and spits continuously for hours in a cup or the sink or whatever is handy. He reprimanded me time and time again saying he NEVER wanted to have that on his teeth ever again. He reinforced it with how much he hates the dentist and he never wants to go back. Well...I have nothing here because I would just as much love my head being hit with a hammer as go myself. But...that being said...I still try to go to keep myself from looking like a toothless wonder. So...we sit at home now...he is spitting, I've lost my voice due to 3 long weeks of fighting allergies/whatever so I can only listen to his complaints. I will at least see the doctor for myself today to ensure I haven't crossed over into some other more serious illness. Seeing as how it doesn't want to leave I am now becoming concerned. We shall see. As for Greyson...I think he will be fine as usual. Time will heal his dental frustrations while I just sit back and offer love.

Catch up blog...

2010-03-27T07:41:00.005-04:00

Here I am again trying to play catch up on Greyson's blog thanks to my slackness. Things have been going pretty good. For one he recently was promoted to red stripe belt in his karate class. He takes Shorinji Kempo Karate form MATI on Beatties Ford Rd. in Huntersville and has been doing Karate for almost 2 years now. That is the last belt step before black belt. Now he waits 6 months and is a red stripe belt while he prepares for his black belt test. We are so very proud of him.
In other areas of life he has been having a little more frustration which at times can escalate if we are not careful. If his frustration gets to be at a very high level he has started to scream,hit and/or kick. But only when it has reached "def con 5". Isn't that the term? Anyway, we are working on this and making sure he knows that is not acceptable. Most times that is easier said than done. Greyson has been doing pretty well at school and OT. He has enjoyed some play dates with his pal Zoe. She amazes me because she is like the girl version of him. So....they really have a blast together. She came over Friday after school and played. They had a great time. I've been trying a little harder to get him outside since the weather has been cooperating more. Spring is here so hopefully I can get him out and about. It's hard because he prefers the comfort of his home, the TV and video games. We want him to get out and play more so we force the issue when we can. Some days I am just lazy I'll be the first to admit it and I allow him to stay inside while I paint or just relax myself. I do need to do better this summer making sure he gets out though. Overall he is doing pretty well. He still continues to keep things to himself when things bother or upset him making it hard to figure out sometimes what is going on. He will get quiet or stop talking because he is really upset and then we are left to guessing what the problem is. His teachers struggle as well I am sure. Especially when the least little thing can rock his world. To us it may seem trivial, to him it is the end of the world. He spent the large part of a day once mouthing everything he wanted to say to me but not making a sound which makes it nearly impossible to communicate with him a that moment. I spend most of the time when that happens going, "what honey? I can't understand. You need to talk so I can understand you." I get some of it so I guess its enough for him not to care. He usually snaps out of it at some point if he can't get his point across effectively enough. Today we hope to go to the park in Concord to enjoy his friends birthday party. We'll see how it goes. Sometimes it's too much for him, other days he handles things fine. Depending on how many people are there and what is going on. We shall see. For now we will watch some movies and snuggle up on the sofa. Happy Sunday everyone.

Double Ear Infection Week

2010-03-13T07:40:00.002-05:00

Greyson started his week pretty good this week. He has had moments lately where he get very agitated if he is really overly tired or frustrated or anxious about something. So...the past few weeks have actually been pretty uneventful...at least until his ears started REALLY hurting. You see he had complained casually that they were hurting but it didn't seem to be a big deal. I thought it may just be allergies and pressure from his stuffed up head. Anyway...on Wednesday his teacher called me right after I left school and said he had an ear ache. I hurried back to find him almost crazy. He ran toward me and was frantic. I got him and took him home and quickly got him laying down with the heating pad, gave him some meds and called the doctor. He was having a huge melt down...hitting at me and kicking when it hurt the worst. When he does this we constantly have to tell him it is not ok to hit or kick but when he is over the top with anxiety I am not sure it makes much difference. It's sad to see but it is also frustrating for us. The last thing we want is him hurting someone else or himself when he is like this. At times he does hit himself. I hate watching it happen and not be able to get through to him. I did feel better after reading an article in the New York Times. A mother of a boy with Aspergers wrote in in response to another article and explained what her life was like. the melt downs, how her son hits them, bites them, has tantrums in stores while others stare. It was a that point that I knew we were lucky. Yes we deal with those issues...but on a much smaller scale from what I could tell. You see, once again it is apparent why they call it a spectrum. Your child can fall anywhere on it when diagnosed but regardless of where they fall, it is stressful and frustrating for all those involved. It made me better realize what I have known all along. It could be better, but it also could be much worse. Either way it is what it is and it's our normal. After going to the doctor she confirmed he had a bad ear infection and gave antibiotics. Greyson has had a history of sensory issues especially with taste buds and meds. I have tried every trick in the book to give him things...and he is always keen to my tricks. Sometimes he pukes, sometimes he spits it out, sometimes I slip it by, but usually we end up battling it out to get meds on board. This visit I begged for pills for him. i was determined if I could get him to swallow the pills it would save us from here on out. Well guess what? After crying and panicking for a while thinking he was going to choke to death...(literally), he did it! We practiced on tic tacs first...and then headed for the "real deal". There was some bribing involved...so sue me. I held his hands, looked him in the eye and said firmly, "You can do this!" He took a deep breath, cried some more and then he was ready...he did it! He did it again! Yay for Greyson and his triumph over the meds!!!!! Next week he has another big milestone for him. He tests for his red stripe belt. This is his last colored belt before he tests for a black belt in Shorinji Kempo Karate. wow! He has come sooooo far with that. We hope we can help him get all the way to black belt. I know he can do it and we are very proud of what he has accomplished. Despite the moments of anxiety, frustration and stress there are giant periods of success, love and fun. Hooray for being different. Our family certainly is just that.

Freedom Park

2010-02-21T09:10:00.003-05:00

Funny thing...yesterday was Saturday and the weather was beautiful. Finally, a day to head out and enjoy some sunshine. Michele was working so I took Greyson to Freedom Park. I tried calling an old friend of his to meet us there but we had no luck. He has been dying to see his buddy but we have not been able to catch up with them. I am starting to wonder if we ever will. I fear I have offended them in some way although they claim I have not. I can only hope that is true and that if there is something wrong they will talk with me about it. But enough on that. I was not able to make contact with them and we headed out to the park regardless of not knowing who or what we may encounter. I took his bicycle, which he is still reluctantly learning to ride, his soccer ball, his water gun and his super hero mask that he made himself. Once we got there he had his mask on his forehead and water gun in hand and he started looking for his friend or for someone he knew. Mainly spending time looking his friend he hasn't seen in a while. When he had no luck he was frustrated and wanted to leave. I explained that maybe they would come later on and that we needed to play and have fun. Even though tons of kids were there it may have well been deserted in his mind. He walked in circles, as he often does when he is out of sorts, in his own little world. The whole thing is heartbreaking to watch for me. Those moments make me sad. He doesn't have the courage to approach another child and even with my offering help doesn't want to. He is embarrassed and inconsolable. I try another tactic and ask him to walk with me around the lake to see the ducks and people over there. He comes with me, holding my hand the whole way and exclaiming. "I am scared! These people scare me. I do not know them." I keep reassuring him that he is safe with me as he continues to express his fears. Too many people, too many strangers, too much of everything. He, at some point, becomes brave enough to put his super hero mask on and we continue on. I stop to take a photograph and a woman walks past him and says, "I love your mask buddy!" He freaks and quickly runs off with me chasing behind him and telling him to stop. He was embarrassed at the complement, his usual reaction, so he was retreating to Lord only knows where with me following close behind. I struggle with things like our day in the park. My gut tells me to support him and make him stay and see there is nothing to fear but I can't help but feel sad seeing the anxiety that holds him hostage at times. The other kids are running playing, riding their bikes, throwing balls and having a blast on this warm day that has finally graced us with it's presence while mine is wishing he was in the safe confinements of his home. He struggles with throwing/catching balls, riding his bicycle, aand making friends with strangers, so he feels the urge to retreat to his safe place. Home, inside, watching TV, playing video games, building LEGOS. Well we cannot allow that to win all the time. Unfortunately I feel somehow that I am being cruel to him in the process of forcing his hand at the "norm". Forcing him to look his biggest fears in the face. It's sad, but it is our goal to equip him with the tools he needs to survive. That being said I had him play some on the playground. He spent it walking in a circle on the playground equipment with his hero mask on while others played around him staring at times. I finally got him to try his bicycle. We have a new handle on the back so I can help keep him upright while he learns about balance. As he is getting bigger, the balance is really a struggle so thank goodness for that handle. He rode with his mask & helmet on which brought even more stares. I had to laugh a little inside, at least I did until I heard another kid exclaim to his mom, "That's weird!" Great...Here's a boy who is 9 yrs of age yet he looks older. He is 4'8" tall and weighs over 100lbs and his actions are that of a boy much younger most of the time. So...in the eyes of some, I am sure it is weird. In our eyes, it's Greyson, our wonderful son just being himself. I do mean it when we say we wouldn't change a thing but I also know there are times when we both wish things were easier for his sake and ours. But it is what it is and it is "our normal". So, today is another beautiful day and guess what? All of us are headed out to the park as a family. One weird happy family! Hats off to the weirdos of the world with all their quirky eccentric ways! Who do you guys think keeps the world colorful anyway? Peace.

The Saints win....All of them! Hooray for the "Fleur de Lis"

2010-02-08T20:05:00.002-05:00

Last night was Super Bowl 44 and Michele and I decided to head out to our friends house for some supa bowl partaaaaa fun. My new teacher pal Trista watched Gman for us while we went to enjoy our friends. Well...immediately Greyson was kicking us out of the house. I was concerned that she was coming due to him being funny about those things at times. Especially when he has never stayed with her before. He knew her from our school so that helped...obviously. hahahaaaaa We left and he ended up doing great with her. Once we got home he claimed she should be a mom and that he wanted her to be his mom. Michele and I asked...which one of us are you planning on trading? He exclaimed, "Neither one. I'll just have 3 moms!" He's sooo funny. He loves Trista already adding her to the list with Ms Heidi. Ms Heidi has his heart because she has known him since birth. All 10lbs. 4ozs. of him! He is a special guy and we wouldn't trade him for nothing! We were glad to get home last night to find that he had once again found a friend. :) It was sweet and he cried a little when she was gone. He had not gotten to play wii with her and he soooo wanted to. It was sweet and I assured him he would probably see her again. Thanks Trista...you now have an adopted son..."D'mar Jr." Eccentric...quirky...and full of energy along with a plethora of LEGO knowledge. hahahaaaa So there you have it...last night, super bowl 44...ALL of the Saints won!

Busting ass at Karate...one foot in the grave

2010-02-06T18:50:00.002-05:00

Let me start with Thursday evening. I took Greyson to Karate class and thought I would take along my Nikon D80 to take some pics. I just got it for Christmas and I am quite rusty in the area of photography...especially digital. I was once very proficient at taking photos with my 35mm back in the day but have forgotten all of my tricks from then. I am now learning the art of digital photography...lighting...f stops...apetures...ISO's...blah blah blah. I want to learn the art of taking some photos with out the use of the flash at times so I was playing with that while I was there. Well...things were fine and I was snapping away having a grand and frustrating time. I'll figure it out eventually. hahahaaaa The class ended and I took off my shoes and headed over to where Greyson was sitting and preparing himself to leave. As I got within 2ft. of him I rolled my left ankle on the edge of the mat, sending me falling to the floor. Slammed my right knee into the hardwoods so hard I thought I might faint, and dropped my D80 onto the floor as well. Ahhhhhhhhh...my camera! that was the first thought I had...then I realized, my knee felt like two layers of skin had been peeled away from the knee cap under my pants. (Don't panic...it hadn't...but it did feel like it.) My lower back was feeling tight...my left foot was hurting and on and on. Then I felt it...Greyson staring and looking like he might burst into tears. I said, "I'm OK honey. Mommy's just getting old." There it was, across my lips before I could take it back. Like something happening in slow motion and you can do nothing to stop it. He looked horrified. I then freaked and said," I'm just kidding honey. Mommy was joking...I'm not getting old. I'm only 48." hahahaaaa ONLY 48!!!!! Whatever! Needless to say he balled the entire 15 minute ride home thinking I was gonna die anytime now. He was horrified I would be gone from him soon. It was soooo sad. What the hell was I thinking. It never fails...I'll be rolling along pretty good. No stupid statements to him that are earth shattering and then BOOM! I stick the ol' foot right into my giant mouth. Poor guy...and poor me. Poor me because I had to act like I was fine the rest of the night. But....I laid on the heating pad most of the night...my knee was swollen and I am now sporting a bruise the size of a tennis ball on my kneecap that is UGGGGGGLY! None of which I have mentioned to or showed him in fear of him thinking I may die soon. I should get a freaking academy award for this performance. Good Lord. So...that being said...henceforth I shall be known as Princess Grace. Things at the castle are fine thank you!

Now...moving forward...It is Saturday. One of Greyson's good friends was having a birthday today. they used to be very close because they attended school together. They do not see each other as much anymore but they are still very good friends. So....we headed off to the party. I was apprehensive because it was a skating party. For those of you who do not know, Greyson isn't very athletic or coordinated. It just comes with the territory. So...we decided to head out and see what happened. He freaked at first. The rink is dark, loud music, flashing lights, lots of people...etc.... All the things he has anxiety about in one place. Go figure. He took about 30 to 45 minutes to calm down but he wouldn't talk to anyone...not even me. I let him have his time and finally he told me he was scared and nervous to skate. He was scared he would fall. I promised I would hold onto him and showed him some other moms out there with kids. So...he agreed, reluctantly, and off we went to get his skates. I got them on him and we headed to the rink. He did not take his eyes off of his feet and was petrified. He was rolling along little by little scared to death but he did it. Campbell was very sweet. He skated up and told Greyson it was OK and that he was doing great. Greyson was his usual self. Embarrassed and frustrated and scared because he couldn't do what his friends were doing. But he tried. He had a hold of my hands soooo tightly that I was loosing feeling in my fingers and they were purple. I had to stop a couple of times to calm him and get him to focus on me. He finally with encouragement made it all the way around once. At that point he was ready to stop. He needs stability under his feet and those skates didn't offer that. We got them off while he screamed, "Thank God! Thank God that's over!" :) After that he sat on the bleachers with me for a while watching Campbell an the others skate around. he cried a little because he said he was bored and he didn't like skating. I explained that Campbell does like it and it's his birthday so he got to pick. I offered to take him home and he cried some more saying he wanted to come so Campbell would be happy. He opted to stay and we hung out some more. A little later Campbell and his friends came out of the rink and played outside of it in their skates. Greyson loved that because he chased them in his shoes while they skated around. He got plenty of exercise doing that and then finished it off with pizza and cake. He had fun but realized that for now...skating is not his forte'. So....we are back home...he is sporting a towel (super hero cap), bandanna (super hero mask) and a stick (super hero weapon) while Michele and I watch our shows that were DVR'd last week. Another weekend of fun and excitement. Tomorrow...Superbowl! Geaux Saints!

Reassurance from Mr. Mike...

2010-02-03T13:46:00.002-05:00

We saw Mr Mike yesterday, Greyson's play therapist. Sometimes I think he is as much or more help to me. I have grown to love him like part of our family almost. We have been seeing him for at least 2 years now and he is wonderful. Greyson always leaves in a better place. I had been concerned about Greyson's increasing awareness of his differences and his feeling like a baby. Greyson has also said he is tired of all his appointments...OT weekly, Mr Mike every other week but had been weekly for the past year and a half, and his karate twice a week. It seems Greyosn has been comparing his world and what he has to do to some of his peers. I wasn't sure what the best decision was as far as possibly taking a break from OT or Mr Mike but my gut was saying don't do it! I know Greyosn has to grow tired of it and I don;t want to overwhelm him to a point of it having a negative effect, but so far all of his appointments have had only positive outcomes. I know he has a hard time with it but once he is there, at any of them, he loves it. Mr Mike reassured me that my gut was the right decision. Greyson has to learn that even when some things are hard, like karate, they are worth sticking it out and reaching your goal. He will benefit greatly from his goal of black belt, mentally, physically, and emotionally. As far as OT...it's a no brainer. He needs that work too. They work on core strength, fine motor coordination and strength, sensory issues, social awareness and skills, and on and on. I cannot allow that to go to the wayside unless the therapy at some point isn't adding value. as for now...they are all adding value to his world. I am also looking into adding swimming back into the mix. He loves it and he totally transforms into a calm soul when floating in the water. The peace that is there for him just fills the room. It's amazing and has almost made me cry watching him...floating for minutes on end, effortlessly, just floating, still and calm. No noises...no irritations...no craziness. Peace to you sweet boy....Peace. YMCA...here I come!

Mr Greyson...sweet mamma's boy

2010-02-01T19:36:00.003-05:00

Today was a snow day at school so I let Greyson have the day to do whatever he chose. We watched movies, The Incredibles and Bolt and then he played some on wii and on his computer. He is sooo funny to me. He couldn't wait to spend the day with me so I stayed on the sofa with him watching movies etc. Then just before momom got home he had a mini meltdown saying he didn't get to watch enough movies with me. He so wants to do his own thing but then once he chooses to do his thing he panics that he made the wrong choice and gets upset that he didn't spend more time with me or whatever. Poor guy....he just can't always make up his mind and it torments him to no end. I have been reading a new book about Aspergers that has been helpful and interesting to me. It talks about the one thing that has seemed most prevalent to me with him lately. The fact that emotionally these children are at minimum approx 3 years behind their peers. I totally see that. His biggest struggles lately at school involve that. He can't handle certain situations as well as his peers. He will hide in the closet and cry over the least little thing or run down to my class upset. It could be as simple as someone sitting where he wanted to sit. I worry because he makes statements saying he is a 5 year old. Ironically that's about right as far as how he handles any adversity or change. I think he is becoming increasingly more aware of his differences and I worry that it may take a toll as he becomes older. Thank goodness we do have a wonderful therapist that we see every other week for just these moments. He seems so vulnerable to me at times but I do not want to hinder him learning how to function in the real world in any way. He has to learn to adapt to our world and at times it is painful to us both. That's the only way he will be able to be self sufficient once he grows up though. He claims his friends think he acts like a baby, he sometimes says he doesn't have any friends and given the situation, I am sure he doesn't have alot. It's not like they know about him or could even understand if they did. The few that do know still don't always understand why their friend is acting strangely or different than them. Each year will bring new challenges but we are up for it. We love him dearly and hope we are up for the challenge of assisting him in his growth. Protecting him from things isn't always the best way to show him love. I hope we can recognize clearly the moments that we need to just let it be, let him learn, and let him grow. I miss the little boy that I could protect and keep from harms way. With each year there is a little more letting go. All parents deal with it but when you add a special needs in the mix it ups the stakes. It's a test for you and a test for them. It's about growth and unconditional love. It's about listening, learning, growing, and remaining steadfast. Be the change because nothing will mirror you better than your child. At times, it's not pretty but it's always a beautiful thing if you are striving to be the best you that you can be.

Headed for Greyson's bed...

2010-01-28T17:13:00.003-05:00

We have been trying in vain lately to get Greyson into his bed. Somehow, no matter what, he always ends up with us in our bed. I go back and forth with this. I desperately want him sleeping in his room, but I also know he does have some real fears when it comes to certain things. We will continue to work with him but some nights the battle isn't one either of us want any part of. for now I will plug along. He has been doing pretty good lately although he is really taken with one of his friends at school. It seems he and several others love this little girl and fight over her and who will sit near her constantly. He won her a teddy bear in the crane machine the other night after karate while we were eating. He was sooooo proud. He took it to her and she loved it. He is planning on going to the Valentine dance to dance with her. This time I will be taking some ear muffs for him. We nearly had to leave the Winter ball due to the volume of the dj's music. Maybe I can come better prepared this go round. he stuck it out last time though as you know and I was very proud of him for dealing with it. Although he was having some serious moments of near meltdown he did manage to keep himself fairly calm. So....Valentine Ball...here we come. Maybe I can talk momom into some dancin' too that night. yay!

I am going to be Greyson's partner tomorrow at his school for 100th day. After work, in the afternoon the kids go from room to room with their buddies to celebrate the 100th day. I am so happy to go with him and proud since I rarely get to join him in class anymore. I am teaching part time there so I don;t get to go on many of his field trips etc... tomorrow will really be fun for us both. I am going to help him tonight build a 100 out of the thing he loves most in this world...LEGOS. It will be fun and great for him to share that. Well...gotta find some dinner and get things going. Hats off to all of you wonderful family and friends out there. Hugs...we love you all! Talk to you real soon.

Cat's "kiss"

2010-01-22T17:10:00.004-05:00

Last night while Greyson sat in the recliner, the cat, Alex decided to jump onto the head rest and hang out. Alex was facing the back of the chair when suddenly Greyson screamed, "GROSS! Get this cat! His part in the back that looks like a kiss is touching my head!!!!" hahahahaaaaaa I could have died. I laughed and laughed. So...with that being said, I haven't any other great stories just yet. Greyson continues to plug along at school. He has some days much better than others but is moving forward. Last Friday was a great day because the Meck County Autism Society came to the school to speak with and give some training to the teachers and staff. I received alot of positive feedback from the people I have spoken too so I am glad it was helpful. It's always nice to have the people that are seen to be more knowledgeable about the subject come in and verify the things you try to explain to people. You're never sure as a parent if they are thinking you are just making excuses for your child. But I do think the training was very helpful and informative to our staff so that's great. The volunteers at the Meck County Autism Society will even do a one on one in the classroom to offer tips and or strategies to the teachers dealing with children affected by Autism. That is all such great news for families and their children that are affected by this. This week has been good and Greyson even had a great night at karate. He is missing his red stripe belt test tonight because he was getting close to burning out on karate class. We cut back for a while which put him slightly behind but he is doing well again. He will be testing in April for red stripe and then has a 6 month wait to prepare for his black belt test. He stands to be a black belt, if all goes well, by October of 2010. What a huge accomplishment for him. I hope he will be able to stay focused and hang in there. It could mean the world for his confidence, focus, and self discipline. Go Greyson Go! Well enough for now. I am trying to get back into the swing of posting more often. I have been rather slack and there are always many family stories to tell soooooooo.....until next time...hugs!

Nick Jr. Jones

2010-01-09T16:02:00.003-05:00

I don't understand it really, but Greyson has taken to watching Nick Jr. lately. If you don't know Nick Jr. is full of shows for very young children so I am not sure what the draw for him is but he has been all about it for months. I feel as though Michele and I may sincerely go insane before this is over. Moments of Olivia, Yo Gabba Gabba, Wow Wow Wubbzy, The Upside Down Show...and the list goes on and on. I do have to admit. The Upside Down Show has Greyson written all over it. Two Australian guys act out everything they do...complete with sound effects. It's like a mime show where they actually talk without the creepy white face paint. Greyson could have invented the show with his strong repertoire of sound effects, voices, etc. so...that show does make me laugh...but then again, so does Greyson. Other than his preoccupation with Nick Jr. lately he seems to be doing OK. School is going so so. I say this because I know its not his favorite place and I do know this year is harder. They upped the annie now that he is in third grade and being lazy and not wanting to do anything related to school anyway he is quite rebellious of the whole thing. He is doing better than he was at the beginning of the year though. Mr avoidance I tell you. Today he tried in vain to convince me that he could subtract his three digit numbers backward since the smaller number was on top. I totally had to call him out on that one and he was not happy. he screamed, "They don't have to be right mommy Lynn!" I said, "Well, they will have to be right when they test you honey. and they will test you at the end of the year." He exclaimed, "Why didn't you tell me that!" It was like I had been holding on to that secret just to traumatize him later. But...in his defense, he is one to need to know things in advance. A heads up on all things works best at our house. Unfortunately, you cannot always be on top of each and every happening. Go figure. He was mad at me for a while because we had not completed his homework this week and I made him do it today. He knows Monday is homework day but he had missed school. Therefore he had it left from the week. We had plenty of time to complete it, but thanks to illness and laziness it did not happen. today...it did. Not by the normal schedule much to his demise, but it is done none the less.

Speaking of him being out of school...here is that fun story. Greyson woke up on Monday, first day back since Christmas vacation, and decided he was way to tired to function. Well...I had to go to work so Michele stayed home with him. Little did he know she was a drill Sgt. in a past life. She said, "Well, if you are that tired you have to stay in bed." If you get up you are going to read to me. No TV, No video games, No playing LEGOS, etc." He stayed in bed up until 9am...(never happens here any other time) Once he decided he wasn't sleepy, she made him start reading. He read about 4 stories, around 20 pages each. (That was huge for him!) but he did not get done until I got home at 2:15. He was a basket case. hahahahaa. He didn't know it...but she was too. Even more so! Had she had to listen to one more story they would have ended up a statistic on the news I'm sure of it! Anyway....needless to say, he could not wait to attend school the next day. Momom's Boot Camp....not the place for small children! Also just let me add this disclaimer for her sake. There was NO DUCT TAPE involved in this situation. NONE! hahahahaaaaa One more story and it would have been on like a pot of neck bones! I got home just in time....just in the nick of time. Goodnight folks...until next time...

Welcome 2010! Be the change...

2010-01-05T02:30:00.003-05:00

I can't sleep tonight so I thought what better than to update the blog I have been ignoring for sometime. I really want to get back to keeping this on a regular basis but I have been allowing myself to be so scattered which translates into seemingly no time for anything. Well, Here I am. and to star the year off with a bang, I have decided to offer up one of Greyson's stories. Since he was very young he seemed to have a very sensitive nose, extremely sensitive and acute hearing and taste buds that were off the map. Michele and I, before his diagnosis, never understood it much and used to laugh about it. When we would relay stories of things that would happen, most people, family and/or friends just stared like we had three heads. I have to admit some of it sounds far fetched and ridiculous. But we were living it and knew he wasn't just putting on. For instance, when would would be outside in the yard in the summer he would occasionally run in screaming, "I can't stay out here! The bees! The bees!" It never failed after he was safely inside she and I would eventually see a bee or two buzzing around. He could hear them. But to him it was loud. Weird huh? I can touch something and it make very little to no noise and he will scream, "Stop! Don't do that! It hurts my ears and makes my skin feel funny." He would have to be moved at lunch at his old school when kids had cereals because of the smell. He always knows when Michele has eaten cereal too and will not let her near him or kiss him until she brushes her teeth. Hahahahaaaaa. Medicines have always been a challenge and just when I thought I could trick him with something he needed in his food or juice he would call me out every time. At times like that it is a nightmare. Those taste buds are ultra sensitive and he will vomit on you in a New York minute if you try to test it much. Even the hospital found that out one night the hard way after numerous warnings form both Michele and I. Go figure. Well...this New Years Day we were at a friends house for New Years lucky/prosperous meal and they have a salt rock lamp. Greyson asked what it was and I told him. Then I reached out and touched it rubbing my finger down the side, saying to him, "Touch it, it feels really strange." That's when he screamed, "Stop! Don't do that! You are hurting my ears!" I explained to two of our friends who don't see us much about his hearing and again got that "deer in the headlights" look. hahahahaaaaa The best part was that later int he evening Michele and I were discussing it and laughing and Greyson overheard me. He claimed," I do have sensitive hearing! I just heard a fly break wind in Africa!" We died....just howled! He is too funny sometimes and those of you who know him well I knew would get a kick out of this one. Have a great night...I am off to bed as he just awakened and demanded that I come back to bed. One mommy missing can never last long...gotta love it. Hugs to all.

Gone for too long...but ready to make the comeback!

2009-12-15T23:06:00.009-05:00

I have not been on here for far too long and I have missed it dearly. Writing about Greyson and all of our adventures is therapeutic for me and also gives me a source to look back on to see how far he has come. Recently we celebrated Thanksgiving and are now preparing for Christmas and the arrival of Santa. Some kids his age may no longer believe, but at our home Santa is real. A wonderful magical experience that transforms even the grumpiest of elves into happy frolicking soul. I often wonder when and or who might take that magic from Greyson, as for now...we believe!
Rolling back some to recap...we had a nice Thanksgiving with Michele's brother and his family. My brother and sister-in-law moved here back in the summer from Ohio. We decided to share the holidays with them and her parents as well as two friends of ours form here in Charlotte. We had a great time, ate entirely too much, and then it was home for bed. Greyson did really well too. The crowd wasn't too much for him to handle and he did great. The more people in a place the greater his anxiety/stress level is. As the expert put it at the conference I attended, "Children with Asperger's stress is proportionate to the number of people in the room." So....thank goodness on Thanksgiving the number wasn't enormous.

As far as school goes he is starting to come into his own some. He has had a much harder time this year and that really had me worried. He paced in class much more, avoided his work and spent alot of time on Ms Alex's sofa. He is starting to come participate more now though. I actually got a part time position at the school working in Ms Jodi's K,1,2 class from 8am until 12pm so I can be there with him some. It started out to be too much for him and he wanted to be down in my classroom all the time. I worked with his teacher and we have a schedule for him now that promotes his participation in class and rewards him by letting him come visit me and show me what he has accomplished. It seems to be working great for him and he actually listens to me when I say what time he has to go back to his class. Sometimes he even reminds me, "I have to go back now mommy Lynn." It is very sweet. I so love him and I do worry about his academics but not to the extreme you might imagine. I figure it will come and it will be what it is. He is perfectly capable but he will only do so much and he will only show you so much of what he can do. He is highly intelligent and continues to surprise me all the time. He is just Greyson, what more can I say. To know him is to love him with his silly, quirky, eccentric self. Last Friday his school had a Winter Ball...His first dance if you will. I had decided to opt out and just to donate money to the cause but he had other plans. He wanted to go because his friend Zoe was going. She is a very sweet girl in his class who he hangs out with. She is very helpful to him and seems to love some of the same things he does. She helped him the other day through something at school that scared him pretty badly. Some of the other boys were playing zombies and chasing him. For Greyson Zombies rank right up there with spiders on the scare factor of 10+!!!! One boy had pinched Greyson pretty hard and in his panic over them saying they were zombies and going to eat his brain he was flailing and hit one of them in the nose. No one was hurt too badly but for Greyson it was a 10 on the panic scale. He was crying and came down to see me for comfort. I loved on him some and reassured him things would be ok. Then I headed up to talk with his teacher about it. After talking and helping him calm down some we headed back downstairs. I saw Zoe and she came over and sat with him, talked and read to him for 30 minutes until he was ready to head back to class. It was magical and I was thankful she was able to help him regain his composure like that. I need to know others can help him when I am not available. Now, back to the Ball. We got his suit ready and headed off to the winter ball all snazzied up. Momom stayed home as social networking is not her forte'. Hahahaaaaaa We got there and he immediately panicked and went into full melt down/solitude mode. He realized the music was at a decibel level to burst your tympanic membrane, there were more people in a small cafe' than should be legally allowed for fire safety purposes, and the compliments alone from him wearing a suit were enough to send him into orbit. So....that being said, he ran into the stairwell, stood looking down and not talking and continually slapped himself on the back of the hand until it was blood red. I tried in vain to calm him and stop him from hurting himself but he continued. Finally, Zoe arrived. Once she got there he preoccupied his time with her for a while looking at the baskets for the silent auction that were in the hall. You couldn't hear the music there. He tried several different times to brave the crowds and loud music but ran out almost immediately each time. Finally toward the end of the night he went into the cafe' with me. I stood behind him and he had placed my hands over his ears so he could dance. He danced a slow song with me too! He was a trooper and I admire his courage for staying and hanging in there. Had he wanted to leave I would have gone immediately but he did what he had to do to stay and hang out for a while. When he said he was done I took him home. What a sweet night for us.

Forever and a day...

2009-11-10T09:55:00.002-05:00

Well it has been forever and a day since I updated this and here I am. Things are interesting in our world to say the least. Greyson has been plugging along at school although I feel he is having a hard time. As I have said before, this year the stakes are higher and he just isn't enjoying anything about learning. Almost every day seems torturous for him. His teacher is trying to find how to reach him but he needs a lot of assistance. More than they have the man power to give I believe. I may need to find other options for him but until then I will help him work through it in any way I can. His very best friend was taken out to be home schooled which threw him for a loop. he loves his friend and wanted so badly for him to be there with him all year. He will be fine but he has been grieving that loss. I continue to worry that he needs a school where everyone understands his needs and can help him be successful. Most of the specialty schools handle only ADHD and learning disabilities but do not want any part of Aspergers and High Functioning Autism unless it is secondary to the other condition. Therefore I have found it hard to find the "perfect fit" as far as schools go. The staff must be aware and understanding to what a child has going on as well as able to adapt their teaching style to the child's needs. At times that is easier said than done. I do worry that Greyson is not quite getting all of what he needs to learn due to his own avoidance but I cannot obsess over it. It is what it is to some degree. I just have to find a happy balance in the pushing him, working with his teachers on when to push him/back off, and letting him be. Testing will always be the bane of his existence and I feel he will struggle to accurately show what and how much he knows about any given thing. Oh well...I am currently in search of what resources are still available to assist him in life. A search that will continue for always I am sure. That is my job right now and it pays well. I may very well end up the richest woman on earth if I succeed in this job and I have no intentions of failing. After all, Greyson means the world to me. I cannot fail him or myself here. It is not an option. I apologize for not keeping you all abreast of our world as well as I had. I have been very busy at his school volunteering and if all goes well. I may be there on a more regular basis. We shall see. Until next time...keep things moving forward and remember...Everyone has a story. "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

Catching up since I have been extremely slack...

2009-10-28T18:33:00.003-04:00

I am alive and so is the rest of the family...just in case you were wondering. We spent the weekend doing some fun stuff. Friday night we went out to eat at Dilworth Neighborhood Grill to support Greyson's school and the PE Equipment Fundraiser. Michele's brother, wife, nephews, and niece went with us to eat and hang out. Afterward we headed home to sleep the night away. Saturday we had some fun and then grandma came up to stay with Greyson while Michele, I, and her family headed off to the haunted houses. This is not something we would do with Greyson obviously since he is scared to death of most all things related to Halloween or anything even remotely scary. therefore...minus the trip to Morris costume satellite store in Mooresville, we avoid this at all costs. Reason being is that he will be panicked and scared for days if not weeks. He can;t go in any room alone and will almost plow you over if you walk away from him. If I stopped quick at times he would be back in the womb. It's quite frustrating. So....we left him with grandma and we went to the haunted house. Did I mention I hate them too. I took one for the team Saturday. I tried in vain to get Michele to go with her brother and nephews. Turns out her niece and sister in law aren't so found of having the crap scared out of them either. Hahahaaaaaa So...after the one house they opted for laser tag and Erin and I drank margaritas! Yay! Greyson had fun with grandma and we got home by around 11 or so. Sunday...we hung out here and had planned to go pick out our pumpkins for Halloween. it was around 3 before we actually got motivated to leave to get them. I had cooked some homemade veggie soup and we were enjoying the fall weather. Greyson was in the yard with momom playing with the rake and blower...she raked and threw leaves up in the air and let Greyson, with the blower on his back, blow them out of the air like it was a Star Wars cannon! He had a blast and so did she. At 3pm we headed off to the pumpkin patch. We went to Rural Hill Farm in Huntersville where the great corn maze is located to pick some out. Once we got there Michele thought maybe we should try the maze. I, on the other, hand had no warm fuzzies about it seeing as how I had visions of Greyson freaking out once we got buried right in the middle of the thing. well...it turned out OK. We rambled around in there for about an hour and Michele found our way to several clues to try and find are way out. Needless to say after a little over an hour he was done. he said his feet were sleeping like at night so he wanted to sit down. I think we were done too though. So....we took the high road and got the heck out of there....thru the entrance when we found it again. Hey...we had to do what we had to do. It's all good. The week started pretty good. he hasn't had too many appt's. thank goodness...well...minus the one I wrote down wrong on the dry erase board. DUH! Sorry Mr Mike! Today he had his teeth cleaned which totally traumatizes him but he does well. He wanted to cry a couple of times but hung in there. He goes to a dentist that is very sweet and she handles him very well. all the sugar bugs...as they call them....are cleaned and washed away! No cavities! Yay! I kept him home with me because once he was done he was spitting constantly due to the fluoride wash. They paint his teeth with flavored fluoride which I am sure tastes like crap if it's anything like what I remember. he spits and spits and spits.... I didn't think his teacher would want to deal with his drama concerning this issue so I opted for me and him to do homework and hang out. I loved it! Fed him Mickey D's and watched Star Wars. How much fun can one mommy have? Well....that catches us up to some extent. Until our next adventure... hugs all

Another week gone by...

2009-10-17T09:57:00.002-04:00

Well we have conquered yet another week of school. Greyson is still running out of sorts but has been able to spend some time with Ms Kathy in his room. She is there to help him as well as the other kids and the teacher. She will be an asset in that she gets him and his behaviors and can help reel him in if need be. I feel there may be some triggers there that we have yet to pick up on that are causing his walking and avoidance of his work. I spoke with his therapist who will be coordinating a visit to his school to observe and see if we can pick out what might be triggering his avoidance to do the things he should be doing. In the mean time I just monitor things and try to help Greyson keep from having a full meltdown as best I can. Dealing with him has always been a delicate balance of pushing him and knowing when to back off or let it go per say. You can never push too much or it will result in complete shut down. I was having huge heart burn about this for the last few weeks but now it seems not such a big deal. I have no idea how to explain that something that seemed all consuming of me just lifted. It's like somehow I just know it is all going to be fine. It is what it is. Some will get it and him, some won't. He is still a great guy and a great kid. Just an 8 year old struggling to make sense or things. His friendships and relationships in general run very deep once he bonds and he can be totally devastated by the least little thing. We all get that to a degree, he just has to work harder for those relationships so it makes things much more intense for him. That creates some problematic issues at times but he will learn to work through it. It still can be heartbreaking for me to see his struggles unfold in front of me at times. Plight of a mother huh? Not one on this planet doesn't understand that. His birthday is coming up too. November 20th he will be 9 years old. Time sure flies. All I can say is I could have NEVER been given a greater blessing than him. Helping him sometimes consumes me, other times it just happens as we go along. Right now...we roll along day to day. My job as far as I am concerned is to see he is learning and challenged while not being riddled with anxiety. Not just academically, but overall. My biggest concerns don't lie there in his academics anyway, but in his dealing with the world at hand and learning how to navigate it successfully. He is soooo funny and so attached to Michele and me. That scares me sometimes but we are his navigators and he is well aware of that. Detachment from us seems slow if at all but it is going to be crucial to his survival. It will come, as all other things have, in his time. My good friend gave me the book, 'All Cats have Aspergers'. I have to laugh because Aspies are soooo cat like. I totally get that. I even told his therapist about it and he laughed. He totally gets it too. He deals with other kids like Greyson and he said he soooo sees it over the group. I guess they are his little group of kittens. :) I assume the people that may find cats annoying may view Greyson, and children like him, that way too. Well...maybe he can help those folks find a place for cats in their hearts as well. If anybody can he can. As Dr. Tony Attwood said, "Cats are just dogs with Aspergers". Tony Attwood is a world renowned expert on Aspergers out of Australia. He travels the world speaking at conferences and seminars on the subject. i had the pleasure to see him in Columbia this summer and he is phenomenal. I have several of his books that I use as references when things crop up. I am always looking for the best and most effective ways to handle our challenges and he seems to have the best suggestions/answers to almost anything Greyson throws our way. Thank goodness for the doctors and scientists like Dr. Attwood who have spent countless years seeking to understand Aspergers and who help us make sense of the world Aspies live in each and every day. Without these things we would truly be lost.

Well, today is Saturday and we hope to have some family fun before Michele and I head out to a party later tonight. Outside to play and expend energy if the weather holds up. Have a great weekend everyone. Thanks for stopping by our world.

OT today and then a day of "nothingness" :)

2009-10-08T10:45:00.003-04:00

Greyson had a crazy day yesterday. Things got a little out of sorts outside after lunch. Greyson's friend told him as they were walking back into the school that there was a bee on him, (on Greyson). Needless to say to some of you, this went over poorly as Greyson is terrified of most insects...especially spiders and bees. He started flailing about wildly with lunch box in hand and hit the boy, his friend, right in the nose. The boys nose started bleeding which freaked Greyson even more. After all that he was ready to come home. Greyson was very sad and worried about his friend. He felt like he had done something horribly wrong & he couldn't take any more. He internalizes so much and is very hard on himself. No one was angry with him but he still could not shake feeling down & defeated. At that point there is never any convincing him otherwise so I felt it best to bring him home. He has been very out of sync lately so I am calling in all the resources I possibly can to help him become more in sync with his class and his teacher. I spoke with the EC teacher as well as the speech therapist yesterday and hopefully with their help we can make things better for him and for his teacher. I have spoken to his teacher as well and she is happy to do whatever we need to do to help him get back in sync and bond with her. Poor guy...I am giving him a rest from everything today. We are at the house hanging out together. Tomorrow is grandparents day at school so we will be back for that. Grandmas coming down to hang out with him at school. It's also early dismissal so he will be going home at 1pm. Today we will do alot of nothing and then go again tomorrow. He will be fine but we just have to work out a few snags. For now...a day of mommy time and some mac & cheese will be the remedy for his sadness. He had a great day at OT and did lots of physical activities to build up his core, upper body and motor coordination. He even got excited about his short bike ride and asked me to watch him. I believe with the team of people he has working for one goal he will come out fine. I have solicited the help of his whole team to bring him back on track so hopefully before too long he will be seeing things in a new light. Each year will be a challenge especially changing classes and teachers. School is the one place that creates the most anxiety due to the many transitions, the chaos, the social aspects, etc. It will always be hard and we will always have to stay on top of what is happening with him. It's just the way it is and will be and we will only be able to make predictions as to where the best fit will be. It may or may not always work out as planned and that's when you have to take another path to reach the same goal. We keep going forward and making adjustments along the way. Academically I do not worry about him, I just want him to feel a bond with his mentor/teacher and have positive experiences socially with his friends. That's what will help him grow the most. The academics will fall into place. Thanks for stopping by...we love you for caring about Greyson and our family. Until my next entry...have a great day!

Great Fall Weekend

2009-10-04T16:21:00.003-04:00

This painting is so very dramatic but it will make sense later as to why I have posted it. And yes....I think the story is hysterical. (leftover first grade story...)
It's been a great fall weekend, cool weather, playing outside, playing inside, eating out and celebrating our anniversary. (12 years together) I also spent time looking through my notes from the Aspergers seminar I went to featuring Tony Attwood. He said many great things and I was looking for things that may help me help Greyson be a little calmer and focused at school. He has just not seemed to be able to find his comfort yet this year and I am concerned he will fall behind if he keeps avoiding work when he is in class. Looking back at the notes was quite enlightening for me. It always helps to see what you have been witness to already reinforced by an expert. Tony spoke about children with Aspergers and their different characteristics. They have a compulsion for completion and have a very hard time switching tracks. They have a pathological fear of making mistakes and/or appearing stupid. Any advice given is usually perceived as criticism. In these situations the best motivators are "What would be a wise decision here?" or "What would be the intelligent thing to do?" Typical kids look for other ways to do things while Aspies are more rigid and it does not naturally occur to them to do this. You have to prompt them by saying, "What would be another way we could do this?" Aspies are acutely aware of errors and tend to withdraw, escape or try to control. They will do extreme things to avoid situations where ridicule may or does occur. (Really...first grade comes to mind here but....why relive that fun?) Their capacity for socialization is a cup compared neuro typicals who's capacity is a bucket. Their anxiety and/or sadness normally comes out as anger. So being a good detective as a parent is crucial. They cannot handle shouting or yelling because they are overly sensitive to emotional atmospheres. To change an unwanted behavior you have to appeal to their sense of logic. They need to understand and know why certain things are as they are. Confrontation makes them more emotional & tends to escalate things. The best way to handle a situation or unwanted behavior, according to Tony Attwood, is not to get emotional, don't tell them about it, give them a compliment, and then something to look forward to. They need to know clearly and visibly what you are feeling. Logic, not discipline is the key to changing their behavior. Self Reflection is a major problem for an Aspie. Ex: Parent-"Why did you do that?" Answer from them-"I don't know!" They are not being obtuse, they really don't get it. They can only cope for so long socially before they become exhausted. We have seen this in Greyson on many occasions. He can go for a while but once he has reached that point, he totally breaks down like a toddler. It's sad to see his total lack of control in that respect. An Aspie's stress is proportionate to the amount of people in the room. That is why most of them seek solitude. The best way for Greyson to calm down, is usually by being alone. Most Aspies respond to this. He seems to find peace and/or peace of mind by doing this. He can get himself centered again. (Hiding in his room, the coat closet at school, etc...)
They need for us to model behavior to learn it. Modeling things like making mistakes is crucial so they see it is OK to not be perfect. It shows them that if they stay calm and try another way, or ask for help they can still succeed. Being calm is being smart. "It's the smart thing to do".

As far as them interacting socially, it is extremely important to praise them when they "get it right". Praising friendly behaviors, compliments, and helpfulness that they exhibit tends to help them continue to succeed. Social stories help here too. They are like comic strips for everyday life occurrences. Aspies think in pictures and are very visual so these are helpful. Visualization not verbalization is their way of learning. They tend to take a logical more scientific approach to things. They tend to appear like they are not listening when in reality they are. Greyson is a master at this and it has driven me mad since he was a toddler. He seems totally checked out at times only later to reveal he has gotten everything you were trying to teach him. He still gets me with that. He, as most all Aspies, has a limited ability to tolerate frustration. They can't think of what else to do...other ways to solve the problem. They can really get down on themselves and depression can set in rapidly and deeply if you are not careful. It has to be monitored closely, especially as they reach adolescents. The suicide threat due to depression and self loathing among these kids is horrifying to me. All of these things I re-read this weekend in search of help. I am reminded now and again that I am the one who will have to stay on top of this. No one else but me and Michele. We are his saviors in a world that can seem foreign at times. We are his advocates as any parent is to his or her child. I wish I had all the answers but I do not. He is struggling some right now and I will find answers to what works for him. I will because I am his mom and I know him well. I will figure it out somehow. Until then I am sure I will be feeling frustrated and somewhat defeated. At times lonely and very sad. It's these moments that make me long for some normalcy for him and for us. But hell...does anyone have that?

Today I cleaned house with Michele and found tons of school work from kindergarten through now. It was amazing yet sad. It told such a story of what had happened once he hit first grade. He had done fairly well in kindergarten with a few snags but nothing huge. Then once he hit first grade things went so wrong on so many different levels. No need rehashing it but today I did. Just by having to sort through and decide what to keep and what to toss I had to rehash it to a degree. Part of me wanted to toss all of his first grade year being as it was a nightmare. But I saw his work...kept some of the great things he did...one of which seemed so apropos. He had picked the art masterpiece, "The Scream" by Edvard Munch to recreate in first grade. hahahahaaaaa Was he trying to tell me something?!!! Yes... I did...I saved that one. What a better summary of his year and mine back then huh? May I just say his second grade year was amazing due to an amazing teacher. She soooo made up for his year before to some degree.
Funny how I feel like I know him so well yet at times I feel so inadequate at helping him and helping people understand him. I sometimes feel they are going...whatever! Just make him do what all kids have to do. And yes...I get that too. He does need to be able to function in the world on his own. But I still have to make sense of it all to him and to those who may think he is being obstinate. I feel it is my duty to him and to the world to help spread some understanding and compassion. Sometimes you let your Autistic kid hone in on the ceiling fan blade in the middle of karate class and then watch it go round and round, head moving with it....without bothering to explain it to anyone. Those moments are priceless and you leave with a smile on your face! It's nothing but LOVE pure love and I could not love him more! Well...we are on a new journey and in a new place for sure. Stay tuned for the next Chapter in Loveforbeatle...we'll be back! Hugs to all.

Struggling some again...

2009-10-02T16:14:00.004-04:00

Greyson is struggling some in school again I believe. The stakes are higher this year and he needs to be more focused but so far it isn't happening. He has a good teacher who will help him in any way she can but she can only reel him in so much when isn't engaged. The class sizes are much larger this year and I think that definitely has an effect on the class and the teacher. Our school is wonderful and very special in that it doesn't shun the kids who have challenges, diagnosed or not. therefore, in my personal opinion, we have quite a few children that do fall into that category. Thank goodness for the places that will help and embrace these kids but it still is a handful. And yes...Greyson falls right into this group. I worry about him. I know his class and teacher are new to him but he continues to flounder, walk around the room, lay on the couch, and not participate in what is happening. I am very worried. I want him to succeed in school and in life. What parent doesn't? Anyway...at this point I am realizing he should be showing more signs of being involved than he is and now I am getting that bad feeling. I lay awake wondering what will help him and what might help his new teacher better understand him and his ways. I lay awake wondering with all the kids in his class whether she even has time to help him or redirect him. It's just a large class. This came on suddenly for me as I have been helping there in other classes and I have felt quite scattered. But suddenly I have to figure out what works best for him. Something isn't working right now but I am not sure what. He is so worried about his friends. He has come a long long way socially but some things still elude him. He told me yesterday that some of his very good friends, the ones he feels he is close to, told on him for throwing his shoe. He was heart broken that they had done it. I told him he should use his words to talk to them and tell them that it hurt his feelings. that's when he said, "They'll just say, "Who cares?" I was sad for him....sad that the people he had considered his good friends had shown him that friends aren't always who you think they are. Now maybe there is more to the story, but usually, once things come out, he is painfully honest about what happened. From what I gather...he was being silly playing with his crocs and threw one which hit someone. I do not think he meant to hit anyone from what I am understanding of it. More than likely he was just clowning around as usual. He headed off to the coat closet and cried. His teacher came in to talk with him and that was that. For him...his day was shot....ruined....all over one silly incident with a shoe. I didn't even hear about it from the teacher so to them it could not have been that big a deal. To him.....it was really sad that his friends betrayed him by telling on him. These moments kill me...he has to learn how things work in the real world but in his world he has no good understanding of it all. He wants lots of friends but doesn't quite understand how it all works fully. That being said....who the hell does. I remember some pretty crappy friend lessons I learned the hard way myself and it never feels very good. I just hope that I can always somehow find ways to make sense of his world to others without seeming like everything I say is relating to his challenges. Also without seeming like I think his whole identity is Aspergers related and still finding ways to make our world make sense to him in those moments where it seems so foreign. OK....so things, I have decided, will always be challenging for us as he reaches each milestone and we will have to forever be his advocates. At least during his school years. I will leave you for now. Until next time...I will drink a big ol' glass of red wine as I am having to re-group for Greyson's sake. Things will be fine...just need a new plan of attack.

A Little Worried about G man...just a little...

2009-10-01T15:44:00.002-04:00

Two peas in a pod!
It's time for me to start keeping up with this better. I am gonna need the humor as well as the moments of looking back and saying..."See, everything turned out fine." I have spent lots of time volunteering at Greyson's school but not so much in his class. I did go help one day when his teacher was out, but I wasn't there long being as it was only a half day anyway. When I do go to his class he seems even more out of sorts than usual. I worry he spends his day walking in circles and/or sitting or laying on the sofa in there. He holds things so deeply inside and is sooo emotional anyway. The least little thing throws him for a huge loop. His teacher this year is wonderful but I worry about him due to him being older and his grade level brings on higher expectations. I sometimes wonder if he is up to it, even though I know he is perfectly capable. It drives me mad to see him just avoid whatever the task at hand is in class. I went in today and he was doing just that. Total avoidance of the work they had been given. I tried all my tricks to get him to do what he had been told to do and finally he did it. Not without protest though of course. I mean seriously...why make anything easy on mommy right? Lord....anyway. My mind is racing wondering if I need to try to find different ways to get through to him. I even thought maybe I would solicit the help of his therapist, Mr Mike. Maybe have him come in and observe him in class to offer some insight to Greyson's behavior. Hell I don't know. I just don't want Alex to be driven mad by Greyson. the class has some interesting enough dynamics and I think he spends his time worrying who is his friend and who is not. He talked with me about it today and it seems to consume him. I worry about that too since with Aspergers having friends is harder anyway. Now that he has them he is still somewhat taken back by how friends treat each other at times. We all know it is not always as it should be. But even little things devastate him. When I tell him to use his words he says he doesn't want them to tell him, "Who cares!" He is totally worried that his friends won't care whether his feelings are hurt or not. Ahhhhhhhh. Is this an age thing maybe? I need to do more research. Finding balance between what may be Aspergers related as opposed to just a boy or age thing can be quite interesting. it actually makes me crazy and most of you know that is a short trip for me. (On a short bus no doubt....helmets optional!) Am I worrying too much right now? Not enough? Do I need to meet with his teacher again to hash out how he is coming along? As he gets older he is doing so good but in some ways it becomes more obvious that he has some serious challenges to deal with. That just means I need to be a better detective when it comes to him. Oh well...enough of my rave...I am having an I am completely overwhelmed kinda day today. Tomorrow is a new day. Until then....Shaaaaaaafin'zen! hahahahaaaaaaaaaa

IEP Meeting and Catching you Up...

2009-09-24T16:12:00.003-04:00

We had our IEP meeting last week on Wednesday and I thought it went very well. Greyson first got an IEP last year at CCS and each year we will revisit it adjusting his goals etc. as needed. We were very proud of him and the progress he has made in a year. The staff and his team of teachers at school were proud as well. We lost our speech therapist, Eileen, that we really loved last year so that was sad. Fortunately she has been replaced with another amazing lady. I love her too so far. She told us that her first meeting with Greyson she couldn't even tell what he had going on...she had to look back at his paperwork to see that he had Aspergers. Yeah! I thought that was a testimony to the hard work and love that school and it's fabulous staff has shown him. ...and of course...us too! We do do alot outside of the school to ensure that he can be successful in the world we live in. So kudos to Greyson mainly for working hard to get where he is. We still discussed how he likes to keep secret all that he really knows. It is maddening to me but he has done it since he was a little guy so you would think I would be used to it. He never understands why he has to do things over and over for practice. I guess he takes on the idea that I have it...I get it....what's the point of all this. but I don't know for sure....as he never discloses much of what he is thinking either. i have to catch him in those weak moments just before bed to get information out of him. Funny guy that Greyson! So..overall my thoughts are....he is doing great. he has EOG's this year which I absolutely hate! I KNOW he won't test to his real ability and I could care less. They have to test them so we shall see. I think like him...what's the point of it? But no one cares what I think. I'm just glad most of our school feels the same way about them...they have to be done so we do what we have to do and move on. We continue to plug along at school. I am volunteering more and Greyson has mixed feelings about it. He loves his new teacher but thinks he should quite school after third grade. hahahahaaaa...he claims he wants to play and build LEGOS all day. Oh the life huh? He kills me...I think he will do fine. He is still adjusting but each day I feel he gets better with things. His teacher has some great ideas to help him and we will work together to ensure he has a great year. I think she is an awesome teacher. I am glad he got her. She is another one of the special teachers that is truly invested in the children there. I love that and from what I have seen, most of the teachers there are like that. It's great to see especially when you have a child that you know can really test the patience of those that are there to guide them at times. Most people would not want to be bothered but the staff here goes above and beyond. Even when I am sure they are having a moment you would not know it. They handle things so well the majority of the time and I am grateful for it. I am enjoying being in class more to better understand things there too. It's a great year so far and I hope the momentum continues through until the end. Great things are happening for sure! Hugs to all of you....more to come soon.

Half Day and helping out...

2009-09-12T08:16:00.003-04:00

Today was early dismissal at Greyson's school which translates into freedom for the children at 1pm. Yes, they get to go home early. Ms Alex, Greyson's new teacher, was not going to be at school so she had Ms Deb subbing. I agreed to come hang out and help Ms Deb. Several other parents were there as well so it went pretty well. The only thing that was a problem was me and my ego. I drove myself crazy watching Greyson wander around the room not doing what he had been asked to do. It flies all over me when that happens but it's only because I allow for that. Yes he has challenges but for the most part he wasn't being disruptive so much as he just wasn't participating and doing what he was asked. Some in part because I am there and as any parent knows, your child doesn't always act the same as they do on a daily basis when you show up. I want him to listen, and do what he needs to do but for him it is not always that simple. Many things can bring about him needing to move around the room as he does and I know that. Watching it is painful though...mostly because of my own ego. It's a journey I have taken on more seriously here lately but I am still struggling. I want to be more excepting of things as they are. I want to be a mother, friend and person that isn't so reactive to her emotions. But most of all when my son is looking at me I want him to see the mom that is soooo proud of him and what he accomplishes, even on the days when frustrations are high. It's all about who do you want to be in those trying moments. I don't want to be the crazy mom that reacts and then thinks, "I shouldn't have gotten so frustrated or so angry about that." I know I am not perfect and I will have these moments that fall by the way side. I am not trying to be too hard on myself. I am only trying to reflect and remember where I want to be especially after days like yesterday when I failed to communicate effectively to Greyson what my expectations were without making him feel like he was failing or disappointing me. He has already had plenty of that, but that's a whole story that need not be told again. Now I am determined to be a better communicator to everyone I encounter, especially him. It is a great challenge for me and I believe everything I have done lately, and everything I am doing, is leading me in this direction. Into being a much better me. I find myself helping more at school with different classes and I plan to help/volunteer more. These children need support and love and guidance. My friend and I were talking the other day and, at times, we have to be more stern with them. We both said how we don't want to end up sounding angry or like we are yelling all the time. It's funny how as an adult and as the one responsible for their safety you do tend to have a sense of urgency when the children are off in a carefree place in their minds. You know, like the times when they are crossing the street like they have an eternity and as the adult you are almost in a panic internally thinking..."we have to get across before some nutbag comes speeding through and runs us over!" That alone can make you seem like you have lost your mind and you are a "big meany". Hahahahaaaaaaa. Oh well...Shaaaaaaaaaaazennnnnnn!
Overall though, I know what my goal is and I will stay the course. I may drift away now and again, but my son always brings me back to the task at hand without even knowing it. He is a wonderful guy who has made progress by leaps and bounds. We may not be the poster family for the way things should be. We are actually more the poster family for what not to do with your child. Watch too much TV, don't read enough with him, play too many video games etc...etc...but, given the situation, we try to find the happy mediums for him and us. Somehow he takes in what he needs to to be at grade level in most things. I may not be giving him enough credit here but in these early years I feel he will never test accurately to show what he is capable of. I have this on my mind due to him being in 3rd grade. This is the year for the dreaded EOG's to begin. It's sad in a way but those tests are crap as far as I am concerned. He has never been one to show what he is capable of until he is good and ready and I am fine now with that. On some levels it is maddening but what do you do but let it be what it is. I now have more faith that he can do anything and will when he is ready and in his own time. It's just a matter of putting my ego aside. If we all were honest we would all be able to admit that the ego is a huge factor in how we react to our world and the happenings in it day to day. When it can be put aside and we can stay present, truly present to what is actually happening, then we succeed in all areas of our lives. The key is staying present to what is ACTUALLY happening and not what we tell ourselves is happening. "Our story" always screws up the situation and gets the ego roused up over nothing. So...to wrap up from yesterday. I allowed my ego to slip in yesterday when helping with Greyson's class. I know that...and I am the only one who can work on staying present instead of allowing the obstacles to creep in. Today I will talk to Greyson some about what I expect of him and what we can do to make my visits to his class enjoyable for both of us. Together we will figure it out. For now I am going to try and lure him outside to play. Maybe a play date if I can round up some friends for the park. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Gem Mines...Mine Cars....River Races and Camping fun!

2009-09-09T18:42:00.004-04:00

Greyson at the Gem mine in Chimney Rock, NC...next to "The mine car" He was diggin that...pardon the pun!
I have been so very slack at this lately. Anyway...To give you the updated reader's digest version. We left on Friday to go camping for the weekend of Labor Day. We go each year with a group to the Rutherfordton area near Chimney Rock. Our friend started the whole thing and it is a blast. Many lesbians that have kids, and some who don't attend and we nearly take over this tiny campground. We bring a cooker and have a big family like dinner on Saturday night. The rest of the time it's lots of fun in the river, hanging out by the fire int he mornings and/or evenings, sharing dinners and lunches with friends, etc...etc... Greyson loves it and he does pretty well there. We did figure out this year that his limit before overload is 3 days. After that...he starts getting a little out of sorts and at times, full on crazy. So...next year we will probably leave on Sunday to overt any meltdowns...we shall see. Instead of horseback riding on Sunday we decided to take him to a gem mine to find treasure. Well that was an awesome decision. He picked out his bucket and then started his search. Shovel fulls of sand were placed into a screened box and he shock it out in the trough of running water. One by one they appeared. He found two Ziploc bags full of gems and minerals, along with a great big amethyst geode. Wow! The man said he even found Indiana Jones birth stone! He was so excited! Well....we knew he was. The poor man there tried his damnedest to get Grey to smile or talk but he was having none of it. I wanted to explain why and then I thought...WTH...we'll never see him again more than likely. It's all good. He finally smiled at the end and high-fived the man. I think the Indiana Jones birth stone pushed him over the edge to feel like opening up slightly. hahahahaaaaaa I love watching him and how he takes in things around him. Sometimes so reserved and quietly, sometimes wide ass open. It all depends. I feel like I live in his brain and get him more so than I would like sometimes. As Michele would say..."mini me" It scares and delights me all in the same. He told me the other day that after third grade he was quiting school. So far in his young life I have not been able to help him understand the use for it or why he should be there. I did tell him he had to at least go until 12 grades were done then we could decide about college. I told him that's where it gets fun because he can study all the things he loves the most. He listened quietly and said nothing. Maybe it creeped in there and roamed around for a while. A mom can only hope. Oh well...I have many years before that becomes a worry again. I will still always plant those seeds for higher education. Grandma Griffin would insist! Here's to you grandma! :) As far as school, I think things are going OK. We have his IEP meeting for the year next week sometime. We will set his goals for the year and the focus areas we need to work on. He is doing really well with reading and writing. I can never say enough about how much it means to have teachers and a staff that has the patience to deal with these children. Amazing...i myself do well at times...other times are more challenging in the patience area but hey...that is just part of the joys of motherhood huh? Well...I am going to spend some QT with my sweet boy and partner "man traits". I know some of you are laughing! Well keep on laughing sisters! For those of you who don't get it...I have discovered I am a pseudo lesbian thanks to having a partner who is a man in a woman's body! Anyway...it's all good. Hugs to you crazy folk that love us...and that we love back! Until the next drama...

Whew.....School for mommy & Greyson

2009-09-03T17:00:00.003-04:00

I have been missing alot of blogging time lately due to helping at Greyson's school. I think by the time I get home I am drawing a blank. It's kind of funny...I guess a sign of my old age...I'm not sure! Anyway...the experience has been very rewarding and I can't wait to help in his class more too. Right now the lower grades just need a few extra hands until the new PT assistant arrives. So.....I have found a new love. I so love these children and watching them blossom day to day. Never thought I would have the patience for helping in there but somehow I have found it. I guess I have not given myself enough credit in that area. Needless to say Greyson has taught me soooo many things, especially about how I see children and how I relate to them. I do still have "moments" where I am not quite getting it...but overall I do OK. hahahahaaaaaaa Greyson has seemed to be doing well so far this year. He loves his class and his best buddy is in there to make his day even brighter. Can't beat that huh? He has even given me less headache here lately about reading. I pulled out a Scooby Doo book last night and he was all about it. He never ceases to amaze me with his surprises. One day he is "no way mom" and the next thing I know...he is doing whatever he wouldn't do. It has always been this way and I figure always will be this way. I must wait and let him perform in his time. He is on Greyson time and it seems nothing can ever change that. All I ever want for him is happiness, peacefulness, lots of love, a safe place to be, and wonderful supportive people there with him. The rest shall fall into place. Whether he is extremely brilliant or an average guy matters not to us. He is Greyson and lord knows that is plenty. He keeps us laughing, sometimes crying, sometimes frustrated but we always have each other to work things out. Each day brings another step towards success for him in so many things. I try to be patient, loving and supportive and let him grow into the great guy I know he is. We love that boy and we do spoil him slightly but he is worth every bit of it. He has grown on so many levels here lately and sometimes it is hard to see him turning into such a young man. He reminds me often not to treat him like a baby or talk to him like a baby. How sad and wonderful. Today he has Umberto here on a play date. Together they are LEGO adventurers and nothing can stop them from there mission. LEGOs....Greyson's current addiction and love. Oh the things he has in that imagination...the movies he makes, the things he builds, the hours he spends living in his imaginary world amaze me. Conquer the world adventurer of mine...today the LEGOS...tomorrow....is up to you, who knows, the possibilities are endless!

3rd Grade at CCS - Week 2

2009-08-26T16:35:00.002-04:00

We are well into our second week at CCS. I went with Greyson's class on Tuesday to Imaginon. Unfortunately he was having a bit of a day that day and I briefly turned into "crazy mom". I laugh with my good friend Susan about this alot. when you are dealing with challenges in children, even when you know what they are, you still have moments of, "Damn it...why are you doing this?...Acting like this?....blah blah blah...That's normally when after a bit and him getting even more out of sorts I go, "Who do I really want to be in this moment?" Then Hopefully I snap the freak out of my ridiculous self involved ego driven rant that is happening in my head. the one that is saying, You aren't a good mom. You let him watch TV too much and if you had done this...this...or this...he wouldn't be doing "this" right now. WHateVer! It's maddening but at least I know it is my problem...not his! He is fine. He does things at Greyson's pace. Always has, always will. He hides his many talents and/or knowledge of things from most everyone until he is darn ready to allow you to see it. That in itself makes me nearly insane. Well...more so than the norm. Finally after intense negotiations that would rival any hostage situation I got him to allow me to read a book about a mother cow to him. ("Udderly" ridiculous huh?) hahahahaaaa Which reminds me...On a side note: This year for Halloween...I am gonna be "Mudder" and Michele is going to be "Udder Mudder" Maybe dressed as cows...I don't know...) Stupid huh? When I was pregnant I was a pumpkin...and she was Peter Peter! But I digress as usual...back to Imaginon...Greyson let me read the story, I finished helping get the kids together, helped get books out to G's car along with Kylie, and we were off to the bus stop so they could carry us back to school. Yes...our class rides the city bus to and from Imaginon. This whole thing never ceases to amaze me along with making me "crazy mom" when I am there helping. The kids are so laaaateeedaaaaah and I am following behind thinking of all the things I need to prevent form occurring. hahahahaaaaa I am sure with each thing I ask of them, "Stay in line... catch up to the class guys...we need to walk a little faster to get across before the light changes...etc...etc....they are all rolling their littel eyes thinking...She worries wwaaaaaaaaay to much! Well now you know...That's what "crazy moms" do. The extremely "crazy" ones will yell alot on top of it all and make those crazy, I can see the whites of your eyes all the way around faces! For now I try to avoid that much crazy. Today Greyson had a good day from what he told me. He missed his buddy Umberto though. Tomorrow we start a new OT schedule and go there at 8am until 9am. After that it is back to school. I hope this schedule works but we shall see. If not I will lobby for a spot in the afternoon after school again. I try to keep his school interruptions at a minimum if possible but he sooooo needs this therapy. They work on so many different areas with him and I believe it has been helpful so we will continue as long as we can afford it. For now...it's off to relax before the night time reading battle. Last night he did fine and I hope we can continue in that fashion. Good night friends.

Week 1 of School down and on to see the LEGO Master Builders

2009-08-23T07:58:00.005-04:00

Great school/community...great teachers...great staff...great students = great week!
Greyson finished out his week at school pretty good. He is adjusting with only a few snags. He had one day where as he put it, "I had 2 bad things today." First he been messing around and pushed his rolling book bag down the stairs at pickup time. He and his friend thought it was really funny, but then his friends tripped on his bag. He was cared to death he was going to have to do work during his recess so he bolted to the car when they called him. Doing work during his recess is a left over thing from his old school where they totally missed the boat on how to help & handle him effectively. I think him having a new teacher and not knowing what to expect brought on this left over fear from his old school. Poor guy...we did explain he was not to throw or push his book bag down the stairs anymore since it could accidentally hit or hurt someone. he got that. I then stayed awake thinking...what was he thinking? Then I realized his bag is heavy and he does not navigate stairs well at all yet. One foot at a time like a toddler due to some motor coordination challenges must have made handling the bag and himself impossible in his thoughts so....down it went. Well...mommy bought a lighter book bag, and he is doing great with it on his back while walking up and down this year. The rolling one is awesome and we will use it for packing clothes and or toys for traveling. Problem solved! He also had a moment in music where he ended up with a partner that he says is a mean boy. So he refused to participate. I think he was scared that would land him in trouble too but it was fine. Just a moment of not wanting to participate...so be it. He does love music though.

Friday on his last day of his first week we had a play date with his best friend. They do really well together and are in the same class. Hopefully they will be a great team all year as they complement each other very well. Friday they were great. Michele took them to the start of the R2D2 build but they missed seeing it barely. So they headed to the LEGO Store to get some surprises. They both were really excited about the night and had great fun together. Saturday we hung out at the house, headed to see R2D2 again and Greyson even helped add a brick to the build! All the kids get to help by building something at a table and then giving it to the master builder to add on when he is ready. He thought that was really cool. We left to go back to the LEGO Store and there was a line wrapped around the freaking mall almost...Insanity I tell you. Greyson says, "Let's go to the giraffe store and buy a LEGO there!" It was a no brainer for Michele and I! hahahahaaaaa He would have NEVER lasted in that crazy line of people and kids. Everyone was happy and we headed off for lunch. Yay! Once we got home I was the Lego "master builder" and I helped him build his new Indiana Jones planes. There's nothing more dis-heartening than taking hours to build these darn intricate things and watching him crash them into other stuff while playing and tear them to pieces. Don't get me wrong...I embrace his kid ways and creativity to build his own after he has destroyed them, but I still have a twinge of WTH? It's now Sunday and all is well here. I am brain storming ways to interest him in reading. I have had absolutely no luck so far. I am now going to search for books on temples and treasures (like Indiana Jones) because he claims he wants to be an adventurer when he grows up. Maybe even a LEGO book if I can find something interesting with pictures. I try working in how adventurers need to learn math and reading etc...only to be met with disdain. I figure someone, more than likely a teacher, will make him believe that what I tell him constantly is true. I of course am already magically transformed into a full blown idiot as most parents are at some moment in time. (Poof...your an idiot and you couldn't know what you are talking about.) Oh well...I do sometimes resemble that remark...but not due to lack of knowledge...it's mostly lack of sense! So...today we will see the finished R2D2 with his best friend and his family... hang out...and then get ready for week #2. Oh the things we learn from each other each day...even when we think we haven't. thank you for the lessons G man and keeping my brain active and on it's toes. You challenge me each and every day but then again...all kids are built for that huh? Stay tuned...same Bat time...same Bat channel!

Funny Greyson Story...

2009-08-17T13:39:00.002-04:00

This happened a while ago but some how today I remembered it and laughed. So...I want to share. A few weeks ago Michele's brother and his family were coming over to cook out on a Saturday evening. Greyson decided he needed to set a "booby trap" for his cousins. He had been obsessed with scotch tape for a few weeks so that was his weapon of choice if you will. Greyson taped up the whole entrance onto our porch with clear tape and waited. Well...unfortunately, the Jehovah's Witnesses showed up to witness to our family. A man and a woman walked up onto our porch and were immediately covered in scotch tape...like walking into a spiders web! By the time Michele found them they were walking back across the yard, covered in clear tape and picking it off of their clothes. I screamed, "Did you run out and apologize?" She says...NO! I didn't want to talk to them anyway. I was horrified thinking surely they probably thought we had done that on purpose. Oh my! I have to admit though it really was funny...poor people...they know not who they were dealing with! G man strikes again! Thank you Greyson for continuing to amuse us. :)

First Day of School (3rd Grade)

2009-08-17T11:45:00.003-04:00

I am so proud of Greyson lately. He seems to be turning into such a big boy. I am such the "he will always be my baby" type mom. Oh well...get over it mom! He is almost 9! Anyway...we had a great night of turning in early to bed, woke up happy, and it was off to school. he was leading the way and hurrying me for a change! hahahahaaaa he was so excited to have his new teacher, Ms. Alex, and to be a 3rd grader. He made sure Michele and I both knew adamantly that he is in 3rd grade now. I so feel his excitement and yet part of me worries a little too. I want him to always succeed and to have lots of friends. I want him to understand the world and the things that surround him, knowing at times that is too much to ask of anyone. Yet I want it all for him and then some. Yes, he does have some challenges but he has no trouble overcoming them. It happens in his own time, but he does it almost always. It may take him a little longer than most with some things...but he does it proudly once he realizes he is ready. He will be fine. He had the most wonderful teacher last year as I have said before and he has been awarded another wonderful teacher this year. His growth in all areas never ceases to amaze me. At times I may think it isn't happening fast enough and that's usually when he breaks through. What a guy he is. Lately he has been more aggressive than normal we think due to the break in here at our home. Hopefully in his own time he can overcome that frustration too. I myself am struggling a little with it so I know he must feel angry. Lord...his Pokemon cards were stolen! How bad can it get people! Seriously...he is obsessed and that was a major part of his world. I would choke those rotten kids out if I could get my hands on them...but I digress. :) Not to mention that isn't quite the example I want to set for G man...but...a girl can at least fantasize huh? Don't make me break out the tazer gun fantasy again or the gift basket full of Vaseline sent to their home...they'll be needing that sooner than later I am sure. OK...anyway...happy thoughts...happy thoughts....

Greyson is currently at school while I write. His best pal, Umberto, by his side and another great teacher at the helm...Here's to a year full of fun, laughter, love, learning, growth and happiness. Here's to Greyson becoming a fine young boy who is loved more than I could ever say. You go G man!

On a side note: Thank you to all of our friends who provided Pokemon cards to Greyson's "new collection". I think he has far surpassed his old collection...,numbers wise, and has gotten back most of the same ones he lost. You put a smile on his sad sad face. I have the task of now finding the trading card sleeves...Damn you coupon ladies! They swoop into the office supply and buy them all as soon as they are stocked. I am on a mission this week to beat them to the sleeves! I have faith! I will trip on of those coupon women if necessary to get what he needs (Don't make me go all Bon Qui Qui on you!-check in youtube if you don't know who this is...Sucuritah!)

OK...I won't...but dang...work with me...This is a crisis! Good day all....love & hugs and PEACE to all.

Recovering day to day...

2009-08-15T09:17:00.004-04:00

As I have said while on vacation our home was robbed. We were very careful not to allow Greyson to see what they had done as far as trashing the house etc...but we can not totally, and should not protect him form all of what happened. It was obvious the TV was gone, the wii along with some other things. As well as our side window was broken out and is now boarded up. Well...a few days ago we discovered they also stole his Pokemon cards. Now we are trying to find a way to tell him this. I am currently reading a book by Temple Grandin and she explains that this children should never be coddled too much and should not be kept in a bubble. They should be exposed to life as it happens keeping in mind their sensory issues and being sensible about handling those situations. She claims these kids should be pushed by parents and teachers alike so they will perform and have the skills necessary to carry them through life. I do agree, but I also tend to be overly protective of him and coddle him probably more than I should. I know he is capable of just about anything...but I do tend to worry if pushed too much he will refuse to do anything. He has always done things on Greyson time. He holds back until he is ready to let you know he has gotten it...whatever "it" is. so....I guess I shall try to find the happy medium in this pushing him. I found a quote today that so sums up everything we have been through so far...or shall I say all I feel he is here to help me learn. It is a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh. “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” This quote, along with the Buddhist saying "Only speak if what you are going to say will improve upon the silence." May I just say, I am a work in progress as most of you already know all to well. hahahaaaaa

Now with that being said I have been very concerned with Greyson and this robbery because he is alot like me. He tends to hold on to things inside and although it shows that there is something going on in there...he puts on a different face outside and claims nothing is wrong. I talked this over with his therapist and in session Greyson definitely had some things going on about the break in. So...our job now is to not be too preoccupied about the incident in his presence. Especially me. I still need to make his therapist aware of the missing Pokemon cards and find the best way to handle that. I totally feel the truth is going to have to be the way to go but I will let him guide me on this one. Greyson seems to be doing well but has seemed a bit more aggressive lately. I don't want him getting too aggressive now that school is getting ready to start back. I will ensure all of his teachers know how he works this year though and also about what happened in case he shows any sign of aggressive behavior. His teacher last year was wonderful and I think we have another wonderful teacher for him this year as well. I just need to stay on top of things as far as he is concerned. I want to ensure all of his teachers understand his way of thinking and seeing things this year. Last year I just mainly dealt with his primary teacher leaving out the art and music teacher. This year I will give them all information and offer up myself for those moments where they may not quite get him. I think and hope it will be helpful. Well...we continue to recover here. We are in the process
of replacing our stolen items and getting things back to normal. Life is good and full of moments that help you put things into perspective huh? The love of family and great friends is all that really matters. ...and family isn't always blood relatives now is it? :) Hugs to you all! Thank you to for all of your love and support. It was, and is, greatly appreciated.

Some Beach Trip pics for you...

2009-08-10T19:14:00.015-04:00

Beach Trip topped off with a Littel Breakin' & Enterin'

2009-08-10T18:43:00.004-04:00

This is the special Vaseline...prison issue...Keep reading for the rest of the story!
OK...Here's the Readers Digest Version...I hope. Had a great time at the beach although somewhat interesting being there with family for a week. It all went well...that is until Friday around 6pm...that's when all hell broke loose. I received a call and a text 911 to call the neighbor. I had been drinking and talk about a buzz kill. she is crying and saying our house had been broken into and the big TV, the Wii, and the xbox all stolen. Seriously? WTH? I immediately handed the phone to Shel to call the neighbor to see what was happening. Sure enough...we had been violated. Now if you are gonna do that...pass me the Vaseline please! Bastards! Long story short...whole neighborhood was no where to be found when we got home on Sat around lunch. All hiding like they had "seen something" or "knew something". Well sure enough by Sunday the truth started coming out. Thanks to some super sleuthing by Michele and I going door to door...we ended up with names, kids who saw them jump the fence and even several people identified the same boys. Sadly though I feel sorry for them in that obviously they have grown up and had zero guidance and/or role models...short of thugs. Lovely. Bad news is they live right around the corner and we get to see them popping in and out almost daily. They have terrorized our neighbors for weeks unbeknownst to us and now we are on a mission to have them arrested and/or evicted. Mom is NEVER there and they are left to their own devices...none of which are good. We identified at least 4 to 5 houses that have been broken into or attempted just since ours happened. Don't these folks talk. I have at least warned every neighbor I see. We can at least help each other out. Really? Why not people... So...as far as Greyson goes...(here is the funny part) He was really worried when he found out. Worried about his LEGO'S! hahahahaaaaa to help him get past it I said to him at the beach, "Son, if they touched your LEGO'S I will kick their asses!!!" He is still laughing about that! I know...bad mommy...bad, bad mommy! Anyway...we took him straight to Michele's brother's house so he would not see the fall out of these punks ridiculous stunt. Shel and I spoke with the officer, hung out with the crime scene guy and cleaned up before unpacking. Then we finished up and went and got Greyson. he did not need to see all the blood, broken glass, pictures of all of us thrown around, clothes tossed about, broken items etc....So as far as he knows..."Mommy they only took 3 things. What's the big deal?" Only kids huh? I had to explain the danger somewhat and that it was still wrong of them to come in when we aren't home and take things that do not belong to them...but really he has somewhat hit the nail on the head...3 things...what's the big deal. Will we press charges? Hell yeah? Gotta learn lessons some way...but overall...we are safe and that "stuff" can be replaced. All is well at Casa de Griffin-Roberts! Now...one more detail...in my sick and angry mind when I was really pissed here are some of the fun thoughts I had...What to do to the suspects...

Send them a gift package (with an econo jar of Vaseline) with their names clearly on the box with a cute note...thought you may need this once you get to prison...whenever that is...or...they left the remote to the plasma TV and they live just around the corner...imagine if you will them watching it...(if it's not pawned)...and then suddenly, it's changing to the Spanish channel all by itself...or it comes on all by itself at 3am....suddenly it mutes...then the volume is blaring...then it's the food f'in network! I sooooo could push them over the edge! Last but not least...a drive by with a big pepper spray bomb cloud...you know a big fire extinguisher sized pepper container on my thigh like "Dog the Bounty Hunter"...or a tazer gun...zzzzzzzTTTTTTTT ZZZZZTtttttttttt! OK...I am done now...Bitter party of one...tables ready! ORDER UP! Good night my friends...sleep tight...I have on the night vision goggles watching...just watching! I did work at the Postal service for 17 years...it was not in vain! hahahahahaaaaaa

North Topsail Fun...

2009-08-05T15:19:00.003-04:00

We are at North Topsail Beach having some fun in the sun and we have been here since Saturday. We came for a week with my mother and are very happy to have been able to have a vacation this year. Anyway...it is interesting as I do not think my mom was fully prepared for Greyson. My sister came for a few days and I am not sure she was prepared either. They are not around him much and do not realize all we are dealing with day to day. It's hard to help people understand these things unless they can be around him more. I try to explain it but I am not sure it sinks in. He looks like a normal 8 year old...well actually he looks even older due to his height but that's beside the point. he looks normal but he has challenges that cannot be helped. I have tried to share some reading material but I still do not think it is fully understood which makes it hard. I see the annoyed looks or the looks of not quite getting him. It makes me sad but it is what it is. I get him. We get him and know that he is by no means the kid people perceive him to be. Oh well...they are missing who he really is when they can't see past the behaviors that arise. He is a wonderful boy. Perfect by no means...and typical 8 year old in many ways...but still he is first and foremost just Greyson. I love that about him and so does Michele. He may seem spoiled to most or unruly or misbehaved or defiant or annoying but who he really is goes so much deeper. I will NEVER be able to explain it. It takes the patience of unconditional love to see this really for what it is. When you love truly deeply and unconditionally you fight to see the child that is there. The one who is scared, overloaded, frightened and needs you to be the voice of reason in a world they just don't quite get. We love him and we go along day to day to make things OK for him. To help him make sense of the things that may not always make sense. I talked with my sister about it because I feel they may not need to have us for a week vacation anymore. I do not want to annoy her or my mother since they are not used to our day to day. Maybe a long weekend next time will be better. My mother is used to living by herself. Our world is very complicated at times...especially if you aren't used to what we do or how things have to work. They did not know but now they do. Both of them seem to do much better with less complications I think. Maybe I am wrong. My sister suggested I get a book on Asperger's for mom. I am not sure she would even be interested but I will do it. I guess I thought once he was diagnosed they would read some about it...then again....reading and living it day to day are two different things. I don't know. I know this though...Greyson is loved beyond belief by Michele and I. We seem to understand him best with the exception of a few professionals. He may not be that perfect child that does everything right every time but I am glad he is who he is. I wouldn't take a thing for him and the blessing he has been in our lives. He is my hero and my sweet boy. Nothing will ever change that. I will love, support, & defend him always. Hopefully my mother will not be bald from her experience with her grandson. Hopefully she will see the beauty of him and who he is. It's Wednesday...we leave on Saturday.........we shall see. The only way to learn him is to be around him but I am not sure they will want to do that much again. We shall see. I find myself doing what I did once I came out. If I feel like people don't get it or are uncomfortable I stay away. I want to keep him away as well. That's my gut reaction. May not be right, but that is how I feel. Weird at the parallels and the feelings the whole thing brought to the surface. Imagine that...Well...gotta run to the store while my family naps...dinner is awaiting there. Love to all...hugs as well.

Pluggin' along awaiting our trip to the Beach!

2009-07-28T11:34:00.003-04:00

We have been having a great time here lately. To catch you up we had a great weekend. Friday we hung out here at the house and Greyson had his buddy Umberto over for a sleepover. His first one ever. he still isn't quite ready as he ended up in bed with Michele and I, but hopefully as time goes on he will be ready to take the BIG step. I have been working on helping him stay some in his bed. he stills heads into our room around 1 or 2am usually. I have to get him to bed early so he can watch some of his shows or he ends up in our room so he can watch the higher channels. Attachment parenting and he is still quite attached. It's fine and he will figure it out sooner or later.

Saturday we hung out with Michele's brother and his family. They came over and we cooked hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill, had some salad, fruit and other goodies. Then they all ate birthday cake later. I say it like this because I am the lucky winner of a new diet. A 1500 calorie, low or NO sugar diet that had me eating a chicken breast...some salad...and none of the rest of their goodies. Oh well...my health will be the better for it and so will I. I am also checking my glucose levels when I wake up and 2hrs. after eating everyday. Last but not least I am walking and/or running 45 minutes 5 days a week. All for the good...and I am hoping maybe to shed around 30 to 35lbs. if possible. So...that said....I was on the special dietary restriction plan Saturday. Now...back to the important stuff. Michele and her brother finished building the ladder ball game and they all played in the yard. Greyson played for a while but like with all things he hasn't perfected...he got very frustrated and had several meltdowns/tantrums. I still catch myself felling defensive when he is like this and worrying that people are thinking he is spoiled and being a brat. It's frustrating and I really need to try to learn not to care. I am doing better but still tend to worry about people judging him. I finally realized he was at overload and reaching the point of no return fast so I removed him from the situation, bathed him, and put him to bed. Or...shall I say went with him to bed. Unfortunately the back door from outside is in our bedroom but thank goodness their was no constant in and out. Michele and her brother's family came in and stayed. They played cards and drank while he and I headed off to sleepy time. It did not take him long to fall out. He was so overly tired and had too much going on that he really had needed to go to bed an hour prior to when he did. He cannot function well at all when he reaches that point. He is totally like a 2 year old once he overloads and cannot rationalize anything. We dealt with it though and he was fine once asleep. he fought it for a while though. Sunday we actually had some of the day to ourselves which I was excited about and then around 12:30 we had to go over to a friends for a cookout to meet her sister and nephew. We had fun and took ladder ball with us. Around 4 or 5 we headed home again. It was a great weekend but I haven't seen enough of Michele lately. She works all the time. her brother being here is supposed to help that but I have a feeling they will be working all the time for sure now. Coming home late constantly and working weekends. Wonder what it's gonna take to lure her home for family time? ...we shall see. She more than likely is glad to stay away since between Greyson and myself our house can be quite complicated at times. Oh well...we will do what we have to. :) Other than those few moments Greyson has done pretty well lately. Yesterday was spent running some errands to get ready for the beach. We leave on Saturday and will meet mom in Wadesboro to head on down to Topsail Island. yay! My sister is coming too...hooray! today we are meeting Kathy & Cameron for spray ground fun and then Chuckie cheese...Oh what fun. We love hanging out at the spray grounds...and I love for Greyson to play as much as he can outside! He would stay in almost 24/7 if we allowed that. Have a great day guys. Hugs to our friends & extended family that keep up with us here. Will update soon...

Fun filled weeks of summer...

2009-07-23T16:18:00.008-04:00

Here the past few days we have had nothing but fun. Our days have been full of play dates in the parks, spray grounds and friends homes here in Charlotte. Greyson got to play with his pal Meg on Sunday up at Jetton Park on LKN. They had a blast swinging, collecting pine cones and playing on the playground equipment all while my good friend Susan and I talked. It's always great to talk with her. We deal with similar challenges at times so its always good to have a person to bounce your crazy life off of. So we sat and bounced...hahahaaaa Personally I think this woman could be president one day...I'm just sayin'...she NEVER ceases to amaze me. Hang in there sister. All things for a reason.

Getting back to G man...Tuesday we met friends at the Veteran's Park spray ground to play and then headed home. He had Karate later that evening while I went off to my seminar. He did great at Karate and Master Hartsell bragged on how much improvement he has seen in him. Wednesday we met our friends at the Latta Park spray ground but had to leave around 3pm to get ready for OT at 4:30 in Mooresville. He was sooooo very tired and he laid down on their toddler couch and then piled the beanbag chair they have on top of himself. "Tell tell sign of I have about had it and I am gonna pass out from overload!" I was concerned but he did great at OT as well. Even tried Tostido chips for the first time and liked them. He still is a little unsure but he did tell Karissa his therapist that he was surprised at how tasty they were. We are making baby steps in the food dept. He now likes quesadillas, chips (not salsa yet), strawberries as long as it is minimal and no seeds get in his mouth. he is having serious tactile issues with eating but she is steadily working through it with him. Milk shakes with a little strawberry added are acceptable. :) He even touched a fish stick to his lips and smelled it. HUGE! Hell I'm not even sure I want to do that...hahahaaaaa Is that even really fish people? I don't think so! Today I had a doctor's appt. so Greyson had to go with. He was very concerned about me and nervous that Dr Nance might try to give me a shot. He says to me, "I don't want to hear you crying Missy!" Where the hell did he get that? We have never told him that. A sure sign that he watches too much TV and it's definitely all my fault. I confess...I am a TV addict but here lately I have done much better. Transferring my addiction to things like facebook, Farkle, and bejeweled blitz! Well...with a little Aspergers research & reading on the side. So...now...I have been told by my trusty Steve, "Dr Nance" that I am to start exercising, go on the 1500 calorie diet, and I have a handy glucose monitor to keep track of my blood sugar...just like when I was pregnant. Oh the joys of getting older and letting my health & fitness slip. What a hard head I am. Well I am listening so today started my journey. We shall see where I end up. Goal is at least 20lbs lighter if not 30lbs. Yay! Next year this time I'll be a fit little petite flower goddess! Stop laughing...I know you are! Was it the petite flower goddess that got you? Oh yeah...I forgot. Michele ain't getting off easy either. She is at my mercy now so if she is gonna cheat she better eat her cheat food at lunch while she is working...dinner is all about rabbits at this house now! Poor Greyson...not sure what will happen with him. I'll probably give him a partial pass since he is struggling already with food issues. :) So...right now Greyson and his pal Umberto are playing LEGO's awaiting Karate. Greyson is taking his friend for a trial run to class. Next week we are gonna bring Cameron to Karate. I think they both will love it. It's been great for Greyson that's for sure. So...for now I'll sign off. Tonight I get to go meet with Suzy & Kathy...yay! I haven't seen or talked with them in a while. It's girls night out whooohooo. We never stay late but we do have fun. Good night guys. Get out there and live like it's your last day here! Life's too short to stay in the stands watching...You need to participate!

Brown Belt Now! Way to go "G man"!

2009-07-18T08:57:00.008-04:00

Greyson tested for and received his brown belt on Friday July, 17th 2009!

Way to go Big guy! We love you tons!

Funny Things Greyson has said..."Greysonisms"

2009-07-17T17:57:00.017-04:00

Some of these are originals...some movie lines he memorized and has used in everyday conversation in at the appropriate moments. Some are just funny questions he has asked...Go figure...He keeps us laughing and I am sure I will leave many of them out. I will add to them as he shares more or as I remember them.

I am gonna ride in on my trusty Steve!
Bam it! (He was very little and at least used it in the correct context)
I need to go over to play with my left door neighbors.
Oh....my spleen!
I think you just broke my toxicix!
Did ya' hear my words?!!!
I can't wear this...It makes me feel normal!
I need to watch Bee movie because it makes my bad dreams go away.
I just hit my %$#@ on the corner of that table....Call an ambulance will ya'!
Mommy Lynn...what are these two things hangin' down behind my ding ding? (Oh the pressure that ensued!)
Mommy Lynn I have the wisdom brain of 8 years old...stop talking like that!
We can't go anywhere. Did you see all that red on the TV! These storms are dangerous!
I want crabby pattys for dinner.
Wake up mommy & momom...It's morning day!
I can't know what you're saying!
I need to see you & your eyes! Get in here...
Why are you having angry eyes?
I love you to the whole wide world mommy & momom.
You can't know the Pokemon mommy...only I know it.
Greyson also comes complete with a plethora of sound effects all of which sound very accurate to the movie or show he saw them on. His Star Wars effects are the best! hahahaaaa
We aren't eating there! Nothing but hair nets!!! I hate hair nets and it smells like old people! and the lines....there are long long lines!
A bumble bee rates a "5" on the ouch meter mommy Lynn!
Mommy Lynn, "That's my bad ear...please give the phone to my good ear." As a matter of fact...that whole side of me is bad." (He was referring to his left side...he is right handed!)
Oh my Lord...What's that stinch! I'm gonna puke!
Indiana Jones rode his horse in the desert so he wouldn't run into any "captuses"
"I'd like to kiss you monkey man!"
"Hey...it's me, King Julian. Which one of you fools is attracted to me!" (then he pretends to snap his coconut bra...just like in Madagascar2)
"Can I kiss the bride skippa? NO!" (...then greyson slaps himself...again like in the Madagascar2) It freaked us out the first time he did it and I had to ask him not to hit himself so hard.
I got cut red handed mommom! (After he cut his leg on a staple...)

Freeze! (Ice Age 3 - Dawn of the Dinosaurs)

2009-07-17T08:50:00.002-04:00

I have forgotten to mention lately Greyson's new obsession with freezing things. We went to see Ice Age 3-Dawn of the Dinosaurs and ever since he is obsessed with freezing everything. He takes a figure from his toy box and puts it in one of our Tupperware type containers or a glass and then sticks them in the freezer. He has already broken one of our nice pieces of pottery...a mug thanks to this new past time of his. I didn't yell but I did explain that some things don't do so good in the freezer and he couldn't use those anymore. Sometimes he freezes multiple items in one container and his favorite part of it all is the thawing process. He will opt to start slowly and then use hot water to melt away different areas faster. He is so funny to watch and listen to during his play. His thoughts and actions never cease to amaze me and I love that about him. He is definitely one interesting guy. You keep on freezing big guy. Even if I do have extra dishes...it's all good. Nothing but fun to be had at this house. hahahaaaaa Mr freeze is on the job. Saving many action figures, toys, etc from the "Ice Age". Have a great weekend guys! I am off to Greyson's test for his brown belt in Karate! Yay for Greyson! Will update later with pics! hugs....

Video about Lose the Training Wheels...

2009-07-16T18:49:00.001-04:00

What blessings come our way...

2009-07-16T15:17:00.002-04:00

For the past few days I have been very busy. Monday I attended a conference in Columbia SC where Dr. Tony Attwood spoke to us about Autsim/ASpergers Syndrome. I have waited on him to come to a conference close by as he is the guru of Aspergers. I have several of his books and there are even more I would love to buy. His insight concerning Aspergers is amazing and he offered many solutions and ways to deal with situations/challenges that can arise with children that have Aspergers. I couldn't write fast enough. Amazing and very enlightening. So...that's where I spent my day on Monday. I am glad I waited for him to come this close. Next stop a bigger conference with Dr Attwood, Temple Grandin, and some of the other great gurus/voices/researchers of Autism. It's all overwhelming...so much information...but it is well worth it. I try my best to put most of it to use with Greyson but I'm by no means perfect and do tend to slip now and again. That is the reason I continue to read and attend conferences. Practice makes perfect right? You never stop learning so I intend to learn all I can about my son and his way of seeing our world. It truly amazes me. So...that being said...a friend of mine had sent me the volunteer forms for the "Lose the Training Wheels" Camp months ago. I read about it and decided to volunteer. It started this week as well so Tuesday once I got back I headed off to my first volunteer experience with LTTW. Greyson is in Karate Camp this week in the mornings so I timed my volunteering to coincide with that. he goes to Karate form 8am until 12pm and I do my shift of LTTW from 9:30 until 11:15. I want to tell you guys he has been doing awesome at Karate Camp and Friday he tests for his brown belt! He is only 3 belts away form black belt...Good Lord that's exciting and scary all at the same time. His Karate teacher was really proud of him because he was one of the few to learn the Kata and memorize it in one day. The Kata is when they go through several moves one after another and it looks almost choreographed. I watched him when I took him to Karate class Tuesday night doing it and was dumbfounded by his grace & skill. I was sooo proud of him. He really embraced that in his morning camp and had it down that night. he was doing it with 2 black belts! I must get a video I tell you. Anyway...I have to return to stories about my camp experience now.

I arrived at camp not knowing what to expect and let me tell you...it was and is amazing. I was assigned a boy I will call "J" who was like a bigger Greyson. What a gem! How blessed I was to have worked with him. He had me cracking up. There were several of us assigned to him trading turns chasing him around the gym on his bicycle. He was wide open and ready to ride so by the time my turn came I was running full out around and around. My pride would not let me cave to early to ask for relief, but I could have used a sit down after about 3 laps! While he exclaimed he had the fastest legs in the world I was begging our Lord not to let me fall out and die there. In my head of course. hahahaaaa I had a full blown sweat going. We finally had to tell him he needed to go medium speed because he got so excited at one point he was loosing a little control int he turns and drifting. It was a proud moment to him though. He told me look at me...I'm drifting...I keep drifting. I continued to run with him while telling him on occasion, "Slow down a little in the turns". He was great and I loved working with him. He said his hands were burning too from holding the handlebars so tightly. He was very honest about everything, down to his bottom hurting from sitting on the seat too long. It was awesome working with him and I can't begin to tell you what a gift these kids have to offer when you are there spending time with them. Today I headed out and was matched with a little girl I'll call "k". She was amazing too. Squealing and hollering to beat the band while riding along on her bike. She was Autistic as well and very determined. She also would get to pedaling quite fast and I had to slow her down a few times due to her being very unsteady once the speed reached max capacity. She also had words of wisdom for me. She told me her bike was beautiful, she told me she pedaled fast, and she mimicked alot of what she heard us tell her. At the end I believe she was tired because she was stemming more and getting a little more unpredictable. Stemming is a way Autistic kids calm themselves or lower their anxiety levels. (ie: hand flapping, repetitive touching, etc...) She liked hopping on and off the bicycle first one side then another. She would sometimes let go of the handlebars to clap...yes...she kept me on my toes and I loved every minute of it. The funniest thing was her at the end. She promptly pointed her finger at me and said, "K" you better be good or you are gonna have to go sit with daddy! No talking to me you hear! I am gonna go fast and you just go over there!" (She spoke to me like I was her) I said, "I have to stay here with you. That's my job right now." I guess it worked because off she rode with me in tow...She was trying to hop off & run more at the end. I think she had had her fill for the day and she kept telling me...I need to run! Can I run now? Her dad was insistent that she keep riding. I think it may have been better to let her run some but what the heck do I know. After that she told me...I want to fall and I want to fall my bicycle! It basically became a battle of her vs. me and me saying you can't fall your bicycle. Finally the guy running the show came over to tell her she had to get off and get a drink of water. He explained she couldn't fall her bike so that took care of our slight drama. At the end she let me give her a huge when I asked and then burped right in my face...too funny!

The other amazing story was as I awaited my turn with "k" I sat and talked to "J"'s mom. I told her what a pleasure it had been working with him the day before. We got to talking and he has an amazing talent for art. I had said how much he reminded me of my son...just a bigger/older version. We started telling stories and I found out he has illustrated a book she wrote. Like a child's book and she showed it to me. it was remarkable. He is soooo talented and could easily be a cartoonist. he should work for Disney or Pixar. She also told me some funny stories about how when he started getting hairy legs he looked at her and said...Mom, I am turning into a monkey! I died...I could so hear Greyson saying that in about 5 years! What a great guy. How did we get so lucky to share our lives with these great kids. Such a blessing that so many people unfortunately do not see. They are sooo missing out!

It was great to be around these kids each unique in his/her own way, yet they all have some similarities in their challenges. Some just to a higher degree then others. They all amaze me in their perseverance to ride a bicycle and I am sure they meet all of their challenges with the same enthusiasm. It was wonderful to watch and be a part of it all. I can't wait until next year. I want to sign Greyson up if he isn't riding his bike yet. The program opens doors for these kids and gives them a boost in their self esteem for sure. Great stuff! As for Greyson, he is doing great and lobbying everyday for more LEGOS. We may go broke form LEGOS alone. He has stayed busy this summer and I intend to keep him that way until school starts. It's what works! Good night all! ...and for my girl Susan...Welcome to Moe's!!!!!!!!! hahahaaaaa

Marley & Me...oops!

2009-07-11T11:53:00.002-04:00

Yesterday Greyson and I went to the grocery store as to get goodies to cook for momom. Yay! We cooked a great dinner for her and while there I let him pick a movie. Well...he wanted Marley & Me and I had been warned of it being sad. Therefore...I told him this is going to be sad at the end are you sure you want this one? He said yes...and off we went with it. I was nervous but figured the warning I had given may soften the blow. Well let me tell you...NOT SO MUCH! By the end, which I am sure most of you have seen it, Marley the dog is sick and dying. They have to take him to the vet for the "last visit" if you will. I am balling and trying not to howl out loud...because I did not want to make Greyson's sadness worse. Next thing I know Greyson plops down on top of me, laying down, and is sobbing uncontrollably. He must have cried for what seemed to be 10 minutes. Michele is freaked out because both of us are upset and crying. She can't stand that by the way. She is in great control of her emotions unlike myself who will ball at the drop of a hat. She just basically ran into the bedroom from us to get away I think. (or maybe shed a tear of her own in private?) She'll never tell! Anyway...poor Greyson! Silly mommy for thinking that it would be OK with a warning. Good lord! Greyson finally quit crying and fell off to sleep. Whew...crisis over. He is so very sensitive although some who him not so well may beg to differ...WTH was I thinking? OK...maybe I just had a moment...it's all good. Well just wanted to share our fun. Today we are figuring out what we shall do while momom works. Could be interesting...For now...it's lunch and then some fun..somewhere. Yay for a beautiful Carolina day! :)

Catching up on our week...

2009-07-10T18:18:00.003-04:00

Hello again...we have been very busy. So busy that I am not sure where I left off. Anyway...this week so far we have stayed mostly in the house due to cloudy rainy days. Greyson has been playing LEGOs, wii, watching Nickelodeon, and playing with his pokemon cards. I wasn't feeling well on Wednesday and ended up going to the doctor to ensure I wasn't about to croak. hahahaaaaa seriously though, all is well and yesterday, (Thursday), we headed out to run errands. Needless to say it was a monsoon in Concord. After that fun we headed to Greyson's therapy appt. which went well. Karate has been out this week due to the instructor having a vacation week so we came home and got ready for our evening. I had a board meeting so I drug Greyson to pick up a friend, also on the board of the school, and we headed off to our fun. Michele met us there to pick up Greyson and we were on our own. After I got home Greyson had picked up where I left him, wide open and ready for who knows what! At times I have NO idea where his energy comes form but if I could bottle it I would be rich. He was literally insane and pushing us closer to insanity with every breath. we finally got him in the shower and calming down, thank goodness. he put on his pj's and was not to far from falling off to sleep. we are working on him sleeping in his room and bed. He lay in there but then later came into our room before he eve3r fell off to sleep. A few nights ago he fell off to sleep in there with my help but came in our bed around 3am. We are not pushing the issue but clearly reminding him he needs to be in there now that he is bigger. Things are going fine and the therapist feels we are headed in a good direction. We shall see. Today I had a hair appt. So our friend Ginger was kind enough to let him come over to play with his pal Umberto until I was done. After that I kidnapped the boys over to our place for some fun. Later we did the spray ground too and then I had to drag big man to the grocery store. That is NEVER fun but he did pretty well this time around. We saw Ms Diane there and had some chit chat with her about her Wang visits! yay! Now we are winding down, getting ready to eat, and watch a movie tonight. Greyson asked to rent Marley & Me so I warned him of the end...could be ugly, we will see and update tomorrow. have a great Friday night folks...Love to all! Lots of love & hugs!

Farmworks & Downtown Celebration - July 4th 09

2009-07-05T09:14:00.004-04:00

We have had a great 4th of July weekend, starting with a party at our friends farm on Friday evening. They have a gathering every year this time at the farm with swimming, lots of fun, cooking out and a cap off of fireworks in the pasture. It's a great time and we love going. Greyson did great this year and had alot of fun. Towards the end it was getting obvious that some sensory overload was taking it's toll on him though. We almost had to go before the fireworks went off. He had been there since 3pm, we ate around 7:30ish and he had been swimming and playing all that time, swimming again after eating. Once he is overloaded the biggest thing we notice is his inability to deal with any little thing that may be challenging. Normally now he has developed the skills to cope better with things, like minor disagreements or things not going quite his way, but once he has had too much he can no longer cope and starts to have tantrums or meltdowns. He gets tired, too much going on for too long and then it's on like a pot of neck bones. Poor guy. He had several towards the end while swimming so we decided to go. We got all of our stuff in the Jeep and he was balling. He wanted to see the fireworks so bad. I was balling because in those moments I feel so helpless to help him and it hurts to see him so bewildered. Michele and I decided if he could get it together we would go back up and see the fireworks. He said he would sit still with us on the blanket so we went back up. he sat still and loved the show. I had ear plugs but it wasn't too loud and he did fine. Afterwards we left right away as to divert any further issues. He was sooooo tired and ready for some peace and solitude. we headed home and went straight to bed after a quick shower. What a guy. He has come so far but to see him struggle at all still breaks my heart. I do not forget how far he has come though and I am thankful each and everyday for it.

Yesterday...July 4th, we stayed at home and hung out. we needed some us time because we have had company for quite some time here lately. it was nice to have time to ourselves finally. Michel went to the grocery store and we cooked out. We had some chicken, corn, pasta salad, broccoli slaw, and squash, zucchini, and onions grilled. It was so delicious. Afterward we met some friends at Independence Park for a night of Charlotte fireworks. They were really nice and Greyson did fantastic. No ear plugs needed again. I brought glow bracelets and necklaces for all the kids and we just hung out. When they were over we headed home...slowly in the uptown crazy traffic. It has been a great time and we topped it off today with going to see Ice Age-Dawn of the Dinosaurs in 3D. It was a cute movie and now it's time for lunch and just chillin' out. time to take naps, wind down from the hectic holiday weekend and relax. It"s been great with momom here at home and not working. We loved our time with her and hope we can do it more often. Thanks for sharing our world. We feel privileged to have such an awesome extended family and happy to have seen some of them this weekend. Happy 4th of July to all! Hugs...until next time.

Call an Ambulance!

2009-07-02T08:53:00.002-04:00

Very funny thing today...well kinda anyway. Greyson was holding the kitten bringing him to me and not watching where he was going. He ran right into the corner of the table and threw the cat at me. I said, "Why did you throw him son?" He exclaimed, "I wasn't walking where I was going and it hit me in the nuts!" Then he fell to the floor holding "them" while telling me in a squealy voice, "Call an ambulance!" hahahahahaaaaaaa Oh my God! I nearly peed my pants. He continues to kill me with his special language, "Greysonese".
Last night he exclaimed he would be back later, he was going to the "Left door neighbor's" house. Sometimes he talks about our "right door neighbor's" too. I guess the others are across the street neighbors...diagonal neighbors, etc...etc...
We love you boy! I speaka da language, your special language! And, I am fluent in it I will proudly say...More later...but for now, it's off to run errands and pick up his friend Umberto for a play date! yay!

A Little, and at times...alot, on the Wild Side...

2009-06-28T07:57:00.004-04:00

We have been going, going, going lately and yesterday we decided to slow down some. It was nice. But it does remind me of how important an energy release is for Greyson. It has been sweltering hot here for early summer so anything we do usually involves water. Otherwise mommy would burst into flames when we are outside in it. He has been doing really well but he does miss alot of his friends from school. We try to set up play dates here and there when we can and that helps. He is really into Pokemon mainly because some of his buddies love it. He has really no clue what they are or how to really play. He just happily trades the cards and thinks he is doing something spectacular. That's fine...or at least it is when he isn't hassling me to buy more of them. Seems a boy can never have enough of them much to my dismay. Some days I just say no...others I cave. What can I say?
A good lesson came out of it the other day for both of us though...mainly me. I boldly claimed to him, "I don't have the money to buy you cards today. Besides, you just got new ones yesterday." He screams, "You lied to me! I saw $10 in your wallet just now!" This led to me telling him to calm down and explaining that I did not lie. I had to explain to him that the money I had was to buy our picnic lunch and if I used it for cards we couldn't get lunch. I told him feeding him was more important than buying the cards. He totally got it and calmed down immediately. I swear he is here for me and my communication skills, listening skills, (or lack there of) etc...etc... I have to thoughtfully plan my words before talking to him but I forget alot. I get caught in his literal traps and have to back my way out constantly. At least I am starting to figure out how to make sense of some things for him. I still feel I fail alot and that isn't a good feeling. I so want to make sense of this world for him and how things are and I can't always do that. It's just so in his mind and sometimes there is NO changing it.
I have loved spending this extra time with him over the summer so far. It has been rewarding and exhausting all in one. The exhausting moments aren't always fun and I find myself loosing patience at times. But thank goodness not too an excess. I want to limit my "crazy mommy" moments to a bare minimum if any at all. hahahahaaaa I strive to have none of that but I can't say I am successful 100% of the time. I wish I could though. He is a great guy but he still has plenty to teach me. I hope I am a good student. I was a great student in school but this time it is way more important. It could help shape me into a much better me and that would be an awesome accomplishment. A PhD in my mind!
Hats off to all the parents who learn wonderful lessons from their children day in and day out. To those who have a little more on their plate than others...here's to you! We all have different levels of stuff that we are dealing with. Just remember, some have it easier than others, some have it much tougher. The important thing is that we all learn from these great kids and take those lessons with us into life each and every day. The world will be a better place for it. Oh the love, patience, understanding, and compassion that would abound and surround us! It would be the change the world needs. We should embrace Peace, Hope, Love & Compassion for our fellow man...Today, tomorrow and into our futures. (((hugs))) :)

A Fun Fun week so far...

2009-06-26T09:19:00.005-04:00

Greyson and I have had a great week playing in water at the spray grounds, hanging out at Target, playing Poke'mon, playing Thomas, watching cartons, movies, etc...etc... We went to OT on Wednesday and he did great. He was very bummed because his time flew by. Mainly due to them playing with water balloons and having alot of fun and doing things they normally do not do. He had been at the spray ground prior to our going to OT so he was worn out good. Afterwards i wore him out some more by heading out to Plaza Midwood Park. Suzy had planned a Peace picnic which was really awesome. You had to wear your favorite outfit or something lovely, bring a picnic, and be conscious of the three R's...(Reduce, Reuse, Recycle) so that being said...we played, Suzy took pictures, and we ate great food. We saw some folks we had not seen since school was out and had a blast. We hope to do it again soon so be on the lookout... :) Thursday, we met Kathy, Ethan and Cameron at the spray ground near our house. (Niven's Park) It was really fun and Kathy and I had a chance to plot and scheme some more for Suzy's birthday...which is today officially. Happy Birthday Suzy!!!! We got our plans ready and set them into action. We met Suzy at Phat Burrito for a few beers and dinner and headed home. All the time preparing for the attack. hahahahahaaa It was great. Greyson was at home with Michele which works out great. He has been really needing time with her lately and can't seem to get enough of her. She is attacked from the moment she walks through the door...poor thing. I try not to bother her anymore right after she arrives home since she has enough craziness with him. I used to ramble on about the day and add to her craziness. Those of you who know me know I am good at talking/rambling. Always feel free to tell me to shut my pie hole if need be. :) So...today Greyson and I are meeting Kathy and Cameron at Angela's Apt. to go swimming all day. We will take our lunch and hang out until in the afternoon. It should be lots of fun and we are excited. The summer has been very busy and I hope will continue to be busy. We still have the zoo, Lazy 5, The Raptor Center, The Nature Museum, Discovery Place, Several City Parks and Carowinds to attack! So watch out folks...if you see a white Jeep blaze by we are on our way to our next adventure!

Dreamer of things...Intense old soul

2009-06-23T20:50:00.003-04:00

Here lately Greyson has been doing great but I have noticed something. something he has done occasionally at times for a while and is doing again right now. he can be extremely private, even with us. He daydreams while in the car, staring off out of the window, while listening to some slow song. you see he loves the tunes from movies that he can dance to, but he also loves slow ballads and instrumentals. lately he has been listening to that Nick Lache song, What's Left of Me. WTH? Anyway...i made him a CD and he wanted that on there among a wild list of other songs, none of which really fit together. (Except one thing...he loves them all!) I think he is thinking about a girl when he listens to it because the other day he came home and drew alot of sweet pictures of a girl that said, "I love Greyson". i think this sweet boy has a crush...again...then again it may still be the first girl that he found to be sweet. i don;t know as he will not discuss it. He says it is extra top secret when I try to talk to him. It's really sweet but it also worries me. He seems sooooo thoughtful about the whole thing. Like he's an old soul or something. He is such a complex individual that I could never get across on here how complex this boy can be. Other times he is carefree and just having fun, others he is so deeply in thought that it worries me. It is intense and you have to witness it to understand. Well...even though I worry I can only ask and respect his not wanting to discuss it as he seems to be embarrassed by it. He's a sweet guy. i watched him play today on the playground, stalking and chasing the kids as he normally does when he doesn't know them yet. He doesn't know quite how to approach them always so he chases and stalks until they hopefully talk to him. If not I normally try to prompt him or intervene to help him learn names. He was chasing them roaring...the norm as well, and saying..."I am half T-Rex, half man....Rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" they had not idea what to think of him but they loved playing with him anyway. He had a great time too. We played in the spray ground in Dilworth and on the playground for about 2 hours before heading to play therapy. we had a great day with lunch, playing, play therapy, and then a round of Karate. He should be ready to pass out soon. I know I am. I love him sooo, I love this summer spending time with him, and I love my life. It isn't always easy...but it is great and I couldn't ask for more right now. Now if I can always remember to stay present things will work out just fine... Good night friends and extended family...Thank you all for your support and love. Without you we would be lost! Hugs!

Late trip to Carowinds...Too hot I tell you!

2009-06-21T13:31:00.005-04:00

Today was a great day and we hung out here at the house for a while, went shopping to run some errands and took Greyson to Nascare Speedpark. Afterward we came home as everyone was tired and Michele laid down for a short nap. Greyson played while I surfed the net. We decided we would do a fun thing when momom (Michele) woke up. They were convinced we should head out to Carowinds but I was not so sure. Thanks to the heat, and possible crowds, I was not convinced this was a good idea. However I headed off with them regardless of my apprehension. We didn't arrive until about 5:15 and had to wait in line for tickets. It was weird because all of the ticket lines were shut dwon but one and no one working there seemed to know why or have any orginization about how they funneled us in. Frustration arose but I let it go fast thank goodness. it served no purpose other than to make a bad situation worse. So....it was what it was. We got inside and they were off...he rode several roller coasters...his favorite thing, except for the tunnels, and we got some frozen lemonade and then some water later. By the time they had ridden most of the coasters they wanted to ride it was almost 8pm. We decided we should go since we had not had dinner. We let Greyson get a mix it up icee and then he wanted to ride the swings one time before we left. He did it all by himself...HUGE for him...and then we headed out to the car. Once we left we headed over to El Cancun because momom was having a hankering for Mexican. Greyson had made some comments about wanting to go straight home because he felt sick. He claimed the icee made him feel sick. I figured he was just hungry and tired and somewhat dehydrated. Well...I need to listen! How often have I told you guys I need to listen! we went into El Cancun and he immediately starts saying, "I want to go home. This place stinks and is filthy." (It wasn't filthy but the building is very old) hahahahaaaaa He said, "I am gonna puke!" Seriously mommy...I am feeling like I am gonna puke!" Michele left to get him some KFC while I ordered us 2 margaritas on the rocks. We needed them for sure! Well...once she got back he was freakin' out about the chicken and how it smelled, the El Cancun and its "stench" as he called it and puking. I told Shel to order our food to go and I took him to the car. I left her to finish off the margaritas as I KNEW she really needed both drinks at that point! Greyson and I spent out time waiting getting in and out of the car, him spitting int he grass, claiming he was gonna puke, etc... Finally momom showed up and we started to drive off only to stop immediately again because he thought he was gonna puke. Once he got back in the car without puking we decided then to take the baby wipes out of their container to free it up for possible incidents on the way home. Off we headed home...he feel asleep, thank goodness, and we were almost there when he popped the top on the wipes container. Oh Noooooooooo! He starts puking....I pull over, approx. 3 miles from home, and once he was done we proceeded with caution. We made it home, showered and started to eat dinner. He said he felt better and was ready to eat so....we cautiously gave him his dinner. Only to see it again 5 minutes later. Yes...I did have to shower again after my cleaning of the bathroom. Needless to say we headed off to be shortly after all this. Yesterday was quite eventful. Here's hoping today is much calmer. Hugs to all.

Friday is such a great day..

2009-06-19T08:21:00.003-04:00

Friday is a great day. It brings an end to the week and a beginning to the "weekend". Greyson has had fun the last couple of days. We met Kathy and Cameron at the park for fun. we played in the spray ground with Gingers beasties for a while and he spent QT with Michele, Uncle Rich and cousin Richie last night at Nascar Speedpark. i had gone out with a friend to watch our buddy Myra do karaoke at Hartigans. I do not get to see my buddy enough as I stay busy with Greyson so this was really fun for me. I missed Greyson and Shel, but thanks to our last visit to NAscar Speedpark I did not miss that. hahahahaaa It was nearly a disaster but was averted thank goodness. I am sure you read it a few weeks ago...if not it is worth a laugh. Today we shall find some things to get into. We had planned to go to a pool party family night tonight at a friends only to realize we had double booked ourselves. Bummer....Greyson will be going to his movie night at MATI, his Karate facility, to share pizza and a movie with his buddies there. Which reminds me, yesterday, when we were at the park he was complaining of his foot hurting and saying he couldn't walk or run. well...when we got to Karate he was struggling again. Master Hartsell checked it out and thinks he sprained his Achilles area. Poor guy...I thought he was just being his normal limpy self. Then Michele discloses that he hurt himself playing wii fit with Uncle Rich trying to run as fast as he could. So....Mr man is on no running or over doing his foot right now. Which, of course, he has no issues with. hahaaa Exerting himself physically is not his favorite thing to do you see...We really have to push to get him outside, to the park, etc...Hence the reason he has a little bulge around the middle. This summer I am committed to working on him getting out more. We shall see how it goes. For now...we are having great fun and a great summer so far. Lots of friends and swimming and park dates. Maybe even a trip to the zoo! It's gonna be great and we look forward to sharing it all. Have a great sunny Friday and weekend everyone! Hugs....

Fun Day at Imaginon...

2009-06-17T10:05:00.004-04:00

Today Greyson and I ran errands. We got momom's glasses fixed and took them to her. While we were at the mall waiting on them to be fixed he made me laugh. we were walking down the stairs and he had a drink in hand. he stopped abruptly to tell me, "Hold this! I cannot do all of this at once and I need to come on your side to hold on. this is my bad arm side mommy." He is funny. he has always had a hard time on stairs and it takes all of his concentration to walk down without falling. He has to hold the handrail but always with his right hand. The other hand is bad and he will tell you that. (Reason is because he is right handed and the left has no coordination) He will tell you his whole left side is bad very matter of factly... (Which always cracks me up.) I took his drink while he walked down with a spastic gate one step at a time. I am used to this too. He is coming along but some very simple things we take for granted are a struggle to him. Not so much that it stops our world though. After that we headed off to Concord Mills to return some things. We got him some fun things like a cool new Wall-E bathing suit and a swim mask & fin set. Yay! He is excited because some good friends of ours are letting us have the swim pass to their neighborhood pool for the summer. he loves to swim so this gift is huge for us. I had already been wondering where we might go on a regular basis...now we have an option close to home that is great. After we ran errands we headed off to Imaginon to meet Ginger, H and the beasties for some fun. He played on the computers and had fun with Umberto, Ian, Camille, and Piper. I took some silly photos of him as you saw and we finally left around 3pm. It was fun and we will have to go back to soon. The summer hopefully will bring lots of fun play dates with friends new and old...

Brushing teeth...the kittens teeth!

2009-06-15T13:42:00.003-04:00

Well we have been pluggin along day to day here at the beginning of summer. Playing in the sun, playing in the water, visiting friends and having a great time. We have shopped, hung out at home, relaxed and just been around...chillin' per say... last night Greyson finally cracked me up for the first time in a very long time. I walked into the bathroom to check on him and he was sitting int he floor with the kitten and an old tooth brush of his, blue crayola tooth brush to be exact, and he was actually brushing the kittens teeth! The kitten, Alex, was not sure what to think. he was biting the brush and yet letting Greyson brush his teeth all at the same time. I just turned and walked back out laughing. I had just recently laughed and told my friends a story about my buddy Wayne and his brother doing a similar thing, but on a much larger scale. They waited until their mother left for the grocery store and brought their pony into the trailer where they lived to brush it's teeth. Not only that...they used an electric toothbrush which resulted in a terrified pony tearing that trailer apart trying to get back outside. Our kitten incident was no where near as crazy as that but really funny none the less. Alex probably has the cleanest kitten teeth around. Funny guy...

Today Greyson and I headed to the DMV to take care of our lost/stolen? tag from Michele's hoopty truck. You remember the one...the one that the tail gate fell off in the middle of I-77 and slid across 3 lanes of traffic luckily not hitting anything or anyone. Yeah...that one. I say we are going to report the tag being stolen. Greyson corrects me and says, "Mom, you should call it the license plate...we are going to replace the license plate." Ok...I say...OK. You see he has to have things stated just so so...it's all black and white in his world, no short cuts, he is VERY literal and things mean exactly what you say to him...EXACTLY. I am sooo struggling in speaking almost all of the time. I need to loss the sarcasm and the little things you blurt out without thinking like..."In a minute." That to him means in exactly 60 seconds we will be doing/arriving and/or taking some action. He is my lesson in conversation and I feel I am not getting it as quickly as I should. Thinking before speaking to him is not an option...it is a necessity. I struggle alot...but oh I need this lesson so badly. He was a a friends house whose daughter we think may have Aspergers. She said she was howling listening to a conversation her daughter was having with Greyson. Her daughter spoke for about 10 minutes on something that was important to her and interested her while Greyson sat there and nodded. Then he started in with a conversation to her daughter having nothing to do with what she had spoken of and she sat and nodded for him. Too funny...her mom said they went back and forth like this for a while sounding like two little old people being cordial. I would have loved to had that on tape. Greyson is definitely doing well and I will try my best to keep him very busy this summer playing with buddies form his school. We plan to go to Lazy 5, the zoo, the parks, spray grounds, and lord knows where for lots of fun. Maybe the Raptor Center or Nature Museum. There is plenty to do that's free and/or cheap so we should take advantage of them all. Until next time folks...enjoy the sun and fun with the ones you love! :)

More Tweetsie shots...

2009-06-12T17:09:00.003-04:00

Tweetsie Weetsie...oh what fun!

2009-06-12T16:36:00.003-04:00

Greyson and I went to Tweetsie today to see Thomas the Tank Engine. he has always loved Thomas but lately he has taken to really playing with his trains alot again. He did this secretly though thinking it was taboo for him to still love Thomas. He is soooo funny. We headed up to a lovely chorus of him asking.."are we there yet?" "are we there yet?"...only to be asked by me, "have we stopped yet?...do you see a train yet?" hahahahaaaaa Whew....We got there and played, got temp tattoos, bought lots of new train stuff including a train whistle shaped like Thomas. May I add that the whistle is loved by him....he blew it continuously after we bought it. I had to carry all of our stuff because...according to him...."Mommy Lynn, Can't you see I am full handed!?" He has a special language all to himself which totally cracks us up. he is one great guy and we had one great day together. Even if he was full handed!

A Fun Birthday for Mom and a Great Day for Greyson...

2009-06-10T15:39:00.005-04:00

Old pic and some wishful thinking! :) Oh how I long for the peace and serenity of the beach...well...maybe not the entire time...huh Susan?

Today is my 47th birthday and I have had a great time so far with Greyson. My mom came up and took me to lunch and then we headed out to the spray ground to play with Ginger and her kids + Ian. :) We just got home and mom headed back to Monroe. I am tired too. Michele's brother and nephew are in town working with her so not sure what tonight will bring. I could use a drink with friends but maybe soon. We shall see. Saturday we are supposed to go to a friends house to celebrate many June birthdays, mine being one of them so that should be fun. Tonight though I could use a drink for sure. Greyson has been doing well. I don't notice his struggles as much as I do when others that aren't as used to him are around. When mom was here today I seemed to notice some things more since she isn't as used to him as we are dealing with it daily. Funny how that works. He had a great day and gave me some wonderful things. I have two new rocking chairs that he hand picked from Lowe's with Michele. She said he sat in them all to find just the right ones for me. He explained some of them were just two "shakedy"...and he needed them to be smooth for me. hahahahahahaaa We now have a wii fit too. I am excited and offended all at the same time. They must think I need to whoop myself into shape or something. It's all good. Mainly because I do need to. Anyway...lately I have been more focused on how much I need to watch each thing I say to Greyson. He is so so literal and I have known this for a long time. Unfortunately I still tend to open my mouth and insert my foot so far in it's pathetic. I have tons of moments and I do mean tons...where I say something only to be immediately thinking..."come back....get back in my mouth!" Reason being, he will be calling me on it. My lesson here is clear people...I need to listen and think before talking. and yes....it is extremely hard for me as most of you already know. Whew...I am going to start writing all these down when I do it...It alone will lead to a book one day. One that will make you pee your pants. You too Susan...the creatures in the sea water incident is right up there with this sister! I am not alone! Thank God! hahahahahaaaaa my concern is...Will I EVER learn? I want to so I must dedicate myself to creating that possibility for me and for Greyson. It would be such a win for us both. Choose your words carefully. "I am my word" so I must be careful what words I choose. Right? We are what we think. All that we are arise with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make our world.-Buddha